I've been like this or somewhat like this since I was seven or eight years old.
I've thought about suicide too many times to count and have attempted it at least ten times,but I was always too stupid to do it right.
I don't know what to do.
Their are days when I feel really hyper and really happy just to be alive,and then their are days when I just wish someone would take me out of my misery.The thing is,though.When I suddenly get sad there is never a real reason...I just AM.And my sleeping pattern is just not normal.I sleep,I sleep,I sleep,and I sleep.AND I"M STILL tired.I don't understand it.
I can't talk to my parents about it because they don't "believe in" mental disorders.Even though my mother used to take anxiety medicine when she was younger.She said it was just because her parents didn't teach her how to not worry,or something like that.Like when I told them about how I have nightmares almost every night, they told me it was 'just in my head'.
I feel like a real nutcase,like when I get extremely angry...I break things and throw objects all around the place.Last time I did that it was because somebody came into my room and moved my stereo from the place I always put it.
Please help me.What do I do?I wanted to make an appointment to see my doctor,but my mother will want to know why I want the appointment and If I tell her she'll probably yell at me.I feel so lost and confused.What's WRONG with me.I can't even function in 'normal' society.
By the way I've never told anyone about this,because I don't trust people at all.The only reason I asked it here is because I'm desperate,and anonymous.
Thank you to anyone who answers.
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