Help!i need help.I'm out of control with booze and boys.?

Question

A lot of crazy stuff is going on in my life.its all too much to go into every little detail.I am someone who is never single.and very dependant on being with someone..im also an alcoholic.I also worry like no other about everything out of my control.

Though im technically single...i feel like im messing things up.ive never been a w***e.but ive messed around with 3 different guys in the past month.everytime wasted.and a friend of mine who i dont consider a w***e at all says to me..."what are you so worried about...your having fun.this is what single is"....but to me...it creates insanity and am i doing something wrong?i have strong feelings for these guys.and were all friends.and i just dont know what to do.every relationship ive ever had is serious.and i always jump right into another one right away.almost overlapping.and this time...i lost it.and one of these guys is going away for a job and its not possible for me to go.he leaves very soon.we have been thru alot together.and if he was staying..i might of tried to make a real relationship with him.but he's here now...and we still are messing around...but for what though?he wont be there..and i dont know how to deal with that......one of these guys was a one time drunken mistake....(is that like a rebound or something?)because im trying to escape the guy thats moving away?i dont know..........the other is my best friend.and i dont really know how to feel about that.but he has been by my side in such a great way but i dont want to ruin our friendship.because so far....doesnt seem like ive had much luck in the relationship department.this is all driving me insane.im allready a depressed person who is a heavy drinker...and this last month ive been on a binge....and getting hopeless and then something happens with someone.and its driving me nuts.and other friends of mine are all coming foward with feelings for me...and ask why not them?its killing me.

like all people i just want to be happy and in love.but it doesnt seem possible.im so afraid ill make the wrong decision.i turn 30 at the end of this year...and i feel like i havent got anything figured out at all.and at this point drinking like i do and all this boy drama is going to leave me knocked up with no baby daddy or something bad.or dead.who knows.i just know its not healthy.and i dont know how to fix it.or figure this all out.booze...might be hard to quit...or cut back...but its all the guy stuff thats still there when im sober that i cant figure out.feelings and emotions have taken me over.and to make some right decision is wearing heavy on me physically.i just cant make decisions.im so afraid ill mess up.and i couldnt make decisions before i drank so heavily either.

im probly going to get a bunch of aa/ stop drinking comments.or stop being a hoe.but im really not.im a lost person right now.and i dont know how to get back on the right track.at all.stop drinking right?but i dont want to.if i can just cut back somehow.but i feel like i have no self control.and then regret what im doing later.maybe someone could share their experiences with me.......also......i am not at all interested in "turning to god".i appreciate all advice...but god cant fix me.only i can fix me.so please share something with me.does anyone feel this way?am i mentally screwed?theres no doctors for those of us who dont have insurance.theres doesnt seem to be much help i can seek locally.and i dont want to be on medication.....so how do i save myself from all this.and get my life back?please and thank you for your time.

Answer 1

You said it yourself, only you can fix you. About the guy situation, when you love someone, you can go s***w the world and it won't make you happy, you can't replace someone like that. I tried that  also and I felt I was just out there. You just want that feeling of someone loving you and caring for you, nothing wrong with that.

They do have Mental Health Clinics that go by your income. Try that. And you don't have to be on medication if you don't want.

Why can't you move where this guy is moving to?

Answer 2

i think u just need to go to AA or maybe u could find a support group and change ur group of friends... The only one that can help u is u and if u cant figure out to call AA or find a support group in this messed up world full of problems then u musnt want help to bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! So live life, like u were dying!!

Answer 3

If you are unhappy with the way your life is going you need to change it...and you are the only person who can. I am a party girl and in the same age group as you so I understand how over time fun can become too much. I am not going to tell you to hurry to an AA meeting but I will say try a change of scenery...take a community education class or some other activity in your area. If you trully are an alcoholic than you will need some help in getting this under control but if you already don't want to use AA try finding another way. It sounds to me like you have some anxiety issues try talking with your doctor or see a counselor about them. Lots of people use alcohol to cover up mood disorders if you feel worried all the time alcohol lets you not be that way for a night for instance. But it's not the right way to handle your problems. I am not one to preach but I will say that seeing a counselor helped me greatly and I was going through some very similar issues. There are plenty of places you can go in your community I don't have insurance either and most places have a health department or a community mental health department. Seeing someone for your problems DOESN'T make you crazy it just means you need guidance through a rough patch...that's all. Everything you wrote felt like I was saying it a year ago so keep your chin up and know you can make it through this. You just have to help yourself and for this time in your life it may take being selfish and carin about you for awhile. Take care and know that you can make it through this.

Answer 4

point blank, relax and do what your heart tells you to do, for the alcoholism, go to the doctors or confide in a friend, talk talk talk, and for the rest just do what you wanna do and it'll feel right at the time, otherwise don't do it. x

Answer 5

So here's the deal.  You're 30.  You're a grown up.  If you don't want to quit drinking, don't.  But you need to take responsibility and realize that you are acting out in a very self-destructive way.  The only way you are going to save yourself and get your life back is to lay off the booze.  You know that as well as everyone else.  Here is your official invitation to join the rest of use in the land of the grown ups.

Welcome.

Answer 6

Hello,

I was in your shoes 5 years ago. Sleeping with every girl/woman I could get in the sack, drunk EVERY night. never a serious lasting relationship.



What I did was get a different hobby. I started going to the sandhills and riding 4-wheelers and going to the lake. I never stopped drinking. Still do as a matter of fact. But I made myself to busy for the bars and one night flings. Now it takes a while to integrate something like this into your life and make new friends to do it with but I believe it may have saved me.

I am not saying you need to do the exact same thing, but a different hobby that will fill your life is what will cure you of this and can be even more fun in the end.

Now I am married with two great little boys. Not to say I don't still have my fair share of grief but the beer and loose women ain't gonna kill me..

Answer 7

You do not need criticism.  You need to like yourself a lot more.  To change your life which you feel is headed for a "meltdown" if I read you correctly, you have to start over in the friendship department.   Throw out all of your existing friends.  Spend a week or two drying out, advice you did not want to hear.   That is how you control alcoholism.   Not an AAer but I have spent in my own vomit.  You seem close enough to a bottom to just declare "timeout."   Withdraw to yourself.   The dependence on others is an equal problem to the other ones you cite.  Like yourself from the ground up.   The payoff when you wake up without a hangover is a big paycheck in your health account.   Find a a family doctor to see your for a minor tranquillizer to get through the though patch of the first two.   Weeks.  Drinking and change are not compatible.  I want you to live and have your chidren.  You are sensitve sould are you would not be as aided by alcohol.  But, the clock is running against you and there is a world of great people who will accept you in your sober state.   The change of friends is not an option. It is the key.   Good luck.