Here's another one- what if your 4 yr old refused to get on the bus for school?

Question

Here are some options...shove him on and have them close the doors

take him in the house, spank him and drive him to school

take him in and give time out then drive him to school (if he'll go)

or other ideas

what do you think?

Answer 1

Is there something he's afraid of?  Is someone bullying him?   Can you drive him to school?

Answer 2

Um..he is 4. You are the grown up. How did he ever come to believe that HE is in control? The BEST solution would be to put him on the bus and close the doors IF you can get an adult from the school to be there to monitor him. You can't burden the driver with a kid having a temper tantrum while they are driving. If not, put him in the car and drive him to school, escort him to the classroom and LEAVE. Make sure you have discussed this with the teacher. I am sure yours is not the first child she has had to deal with with this problem.

THEN your work on a plan to get him to go on the bus. He gets a reward for every day he does on the bus without a fuss.

I am assuming there is nothing going on at school that is bothering him other then just being there. Good luck and be strong and you MUST be consistent. If you give in even once you are back to square one.

He has NO choice about going to school. Make that really clear to him. The more times you have given in to him, the longer it will take to straighten him out.

Answer 3

4 is very young to be going on a bus without a parent.

I would drive him to school. I wouldn't spank him or shove him.

Answer 4

Rewards/Positive reinforcement

Every day he gets on the bus without a fit, he gets a reward - it can be a sticker on a sticker chart, a treat - whatever will work for you.

I know many parents will disagree with me, but I've been to many parent workshops on the issue.

You can even work with his teacher.  If he gets on the bus without a fuss, then he gets a sticker on his shirt.  When he shows up to school with a sticker on his shirt his teacher makes a good postive fuss about it and makes him feel really good about it.

Answer 5

Something has upset him and you need to find out what, has he been in trouble on the bus or one of the other children picked on him?

If you can't find out then you will need to go back to basics, reassure him and put a reward system in place. Each time he goes on the bus he gets a sticker and a certain number of stickers get him a suprise or gift of your/ his choice. if he has a bad day don't take stickers from him just explain he won't get one for that dsy and you then get on the bus with him or take him to school in the car. Eventually he should settle back down. It might be worth speaking to the class teacher to see if everything is ok in the class.

Answer 6

Have you set up a rewards system for him yet?  If not, judging by what you have said so far, think this would be a good place to start.Perhaps a sticker for every day on the bus and a small treat for a full week of stickers?  

Also think you should look into any recent changes in school/on the bus or think about anything that might be affecting your son generally; children tend to do things for a reason so look into it a bit more; have you asked him why he doesn't want to go on the bus?  Is it the bus, school, or both?  How does he settle when he gets into class?  It may just be learned behaviour, it may be that he's testing his boundaries, or it may be that there is something specific that he doesn't want to be a part of or is worried about.  To get to the real issue, try talking to your son and to the school to see if you can pin down a cause.

Answer 7

you could try taking him on the bus. for a few days so he get use to the journey

try giving a reward for every try and or success

Answer 8

Think about it - first time in school, big, loud, bumpy, bus. No one to go to when you need help until you get to school. I don't think I'd like to get on either!

He doesn't need discipline/punishment - that will only make him despise the bus even more.

Try having a conversation with him about the bus. If he isn't willing to give up any info, role play. By a toy bus with play people. Tell him you will be his friend and he can play himself. Ask him questions while playing ... Ok, we're at the bus stop, what do we do now? We're on th bus, what's next.

If you make it fun it can do 1 of 2 things: make him more comfortable with the situation or give you an idea of why he doesn't like it so you can address that.

Good luck.

Answer 9

You need to figure out WHY he won't get on the bus. Is he scared of the bus? Is it too loud? Does he not want to go to school? That is the start.  Then you can address the issue

Will they allow you to ride the bus the first time?

  My 3 year old rides to and from school with out problem.  

Our school let the kids on the bus parked on the playground. before they had to ride the first time.  Then they had bus "practice" , where they got on fastened seat belts, and sat there.