Here's my newest poem for your consideration, comments please?

Question

Job's Tears

Life within my soul,

Drawn to make me whole

Deep inside of me

Which God alone may see;

I have not His piercing eyes

Nor His vast discernment wise.

Deepest depth nor highest height

Lie not in the purview of my sight;

Columns that first my being bore,

Skies whither my dreams may soar,

Foundations that long ago were laid,

Stage and script of life's drama played;

All things of immense importance,

Steps of this life's intricate dance.

Still I strut, declaim, and bow,

Like I knew the why and how

Where that my life is drawn

Whence it yet may dawn

Pieces within the whole

Knit integrity of soul.

God, my Maker now I cry,

Create me anew, lest I die.

© August 1, 2008 Albert K. Jungers All rights reserved

Answer 1

I am impressed, as usual... By form and content.

The theatrical metaphor is very Shakespearean, of course...but to me your poem is closer in spirit to John Donne's Holy Sonnets ("This is my play's last scene...), especially because of the two last lines.  

Answer 2

Just getting to know your work. Am amazed and will surely also be saying "as usual."

Answer 3

that's pretty decent.  good style.. it all fit together nicely

Answer 4

What the French girl said ^^^^^^ "as usual."

Answer 5

A well constructed plea by Job or by anyone in doubt. A prayer in poetic form with end rhyme.  Very nice, my compliments.

Answer 6

Hey..I think that this poem is good..alas doeth seem to me that you are not content being the way you are at the moment...Suggestion..

write about beauty that the eye doeth behold...I bet you would do well with those writings...

Answer 7

very pretttty!