Here is a question for parents. I have seen so many antagonistic remarks about adoption. suppose you get a?

Question

Phone call from the police and you are told that the child you have been raising for ten years is not your bio child, there was a mix up at the hospital , just now disovered. Do you trade in your child, the one you have raised loved and cared for, you thought was your flesh and blood for your real true bio child?? do you take that child from the only fmily he/she knows? Could you give up yout child after ten years of bonding if you discovered this? This question test the theory of what it takes to be a real parent genes or nurturung

Answer 1

I would want to keep the one I have and get the other one too!!! I would be soo torn by this situation. On one hand I love this child I have raised but if the other child is mine -I love that child too. Maybe with the other set of parents one could set up an arrangement where both children see both sets of parents. Give the choice I would keep the child I have raised all those years. I would of course allow the other set of parents to see that child as I would want to see "my" other child also.

What it takes is both genes and nurturing as well as all the adults working together to do what is best for the children.

Answer 2

Me personally i would find a legal way to have them both in my life....Call me selfish but that is just me when it comes to kids and family....

Answer 3

A child is yours no matter blood. It's who raised them. I'm adopted and i think of my adoptive parents as my real parents. I had a good adoption experince. My parents provide me love and encouragement to reach for my dreams!! I wouldn't trade them in for anything. But i have to come to understand that there are some people out there that have not had a good experince as mine in their adoption. so, i can't say that they are wrong in being angry, because they are hurting. I have to respect that and try to understand from where they are coming from.

Answer 4

OMG Sunny!  I totally think that about everbody loves Raymond too, what were they thinking when they cast those kids?

I would be like the other poster who wanted both the kids, I would certainly not want my own child out their without my protection.

Answer 5

Only a non-adopted person would come up with this scenario.  Or a soap-opera writer, I guess.

Having grown up without my clan, I am hyper-aware of physical connections in people's appearance.  So much so that I do it ALL the time.  I often thought that I would be a great casting director for this reason.  Take 'Everybody Loves Raymond', for example.  There is NO WAY the leads of that show could have produced the actors who played their kids.

I know my kids are my kids because I can truly pick out EVERY feature of their faces and tie it to someone in my and my husband's families.

That 'switch' might happen to non-adopteds, but I don't think it could happen to adoptee's kids.  Call it one of the benefits!

Answer 6

two words: lifetime television.

seriously, how possible is it to "mix-up" kids when they are all tagged at birth like prada handbags?  

ok, buying the hypothetical scenario as possible, i would want to build a close relationship with the other family, and bio-child.  i would think the other family (the one whose child i raised) would want the same.  although i would want full disclosure and a open relationship, i would probably NOT switch the kids.

note: this a a pretty bad analogy to adoption. because in adoption, the bmom goes home with nothing...

oh...except engorged b*****s, stiches, a sitz bath, hemorrhoidal cream and two-gazillion sanitary napkins.

Answer 7

I wouldn’t trade the child I had raised for 10 years for a kid that was genetically mine. However I would probably try and develop some relationship with this other family. Perhaps have visits a few times a year, phone calls, write, send pictures etc.

Can you add sperm or egg mixeup in there as well?  Mixes up in that happen too, probably some go unnoticed as it is more often noticed when the baby is mixed raced and both of the “biological” parents are the same race.

Answer 8

well the one i was raising is my child that is what you have to think. period. if the other one wants to come live with you then let him/her. but i wouldn't trade the other one i would have enough love for the other one if i had to but give the one i had for 10 years nope it would be mine in heart and soul and that would be it. i know its hard to let go but if the other child does't know then let it go. it would be so confusing to each child and harm them worse and that is why you must just go on. take care.

Answer 9

I agree with Heather H completely. She pretty much wrote what I wanted to write. If I could vote for her best answer I would!!!

Answer 10

What you do is transition both children into both families and become an extended family unit.  It is in the children's best interest to do so, and that is what REAL parents would do.  Any respectable psychiatrist or psychologist would recommend the same, and they have done so in such situations - which are devastating tragedies for all concerned..

Answer 11

Studies have shown that in most cases accidental baby swaps, the parents at least suspect that the child they are raising is not theirs.  I wonder how they would think that?

Answer 12

I would NOT "trade in" my child just because my biological child was mixed up with the one I had raised and loved for 10 years.

I WOULD, however, be checking to see that my *biological* child was in a proper home, and if so, I would NOT attempt to take that child away from THEIR family that they've known and loved.

God presents us with many tests, and if both children were being raised in good, loving homes...there would be, IMO, no reason to switch just because of a biological bond.

Answer 13

After creating a bond for so many years, this is my child no matter if biological or not.  I wouldn't trade him/her for anything.  It goes beyond biology.  Its sentiment and love that should persist.

Answer 14

Family is made by time spent and emotions involved, not blood.

Answer 15

Your child is your child regardless of blood.

If you look at your child as just genes and not your love there's something wrong.

Answer 16

Balls to all of them....u r mother.....thats what matters ..thats what shud matter to ua nd ur child..leave the world!

Answer 17

I'd seek out the other parents and arrange a dual custody situation for both children.

Your scenario, and its underlying question, are faulty... you seem to be assuming that it's EITHER nature OR nurture that makes a parent. When in actuality, it's not an either-or answer.... the answer is BOTH make a parent.