Here is another poem i wrote let me know what you think?

Question

in the blink of an eye

from birth to death

as i stare up at the blissful sky

my life flashed before my eyes

the good times i once had now just a memory

the ones i once loved now just an illusion

as i come back to my senses

the blissful sky that once was

is now just despair

the stars that once shined

have now burned out and died

the grass i had once layed on

now nothing but ash

the moon that had once put a glow on my face

was now shattered and broken

as the tears begin to fall from my broken soul

i sit up and wonder

is this my fate?

Answer 1

The poem was written well but you have to relize that you can choose if that is your fate. There is always something to live for!

Answer 2

A tiny bit like ee cummings who did not use capital letters either.