Herez my new poem fer u guyz 2 comment on!?

Question

"dreams"

asleep

i swear i become something metallic

shining brighter than the moon

and this magnetic heart

always attracts at night

destroying it's own property

tearing posts from gates

pumping cold metal

above these hollow breath machines

i want so bad to hear this sound of night

growing old

rusting lonely without a lover

skin peeled for sleep

a graphic scene in the bed

without the use of the body

asleep

i swear i become something metallic

shining brighter than the moon

free and uncombined

soaring above the visions

that come sometimes in clear tones and colors

sometimes with such a strong lack of color

that they all fade from memory

into nothingness when i awake

Answer 1

this is really a great peom. I love the tone of the first half, its fantastic.

It really brought feelings to the reader, showing them with your words lol

It was really great, good job =]

Check mine out, that would be awesome :)

best of wishes ~m.t