Hes already called me five times in two days. Why does he keep calling me?

Question

I ended this fwb thing in an email because I knew if I actually talked to him he'd convince me not to like he has before. I was really nice and just told him it wasn't working out anymore. I told him I felt like he was just using me for s*x and now I want a relationship and not just s*x. I told him that he's a great guy and I wish him the best in life. Then he sent me this email giving me all these excuses like the reason he wasn't calling me back was because he lost his phone, and that he hadn't treated me like a booty call, when he most defiantly has. He didn't even address the fact that I want to be in an actual relationship. Its been two days and he'd already called me five times and txted me twice wanting me to talk to him. But he sent me such a rude email I don't really have anything to say to him. I miss him and I want to talk to him but I know I shouldn't. Why does he keep calling me?

Answer 1

One way to find out what he wants, and if it's all about s*x, is to see him but not have s*x with him. You said it was an "fwb" thing, but then claim he was using you. Friends with benefits is a mutual decision to have a sexual relationship with someone, no strings attached...thus he wasn't using you if it was an 'fwb' situation because you had agreed to it being a primarily s*x-based arrangement.

If you want a relationship with someone, that is fine. So tell this guy if he wants to keep seeing you, then there'll be no s*x for a while (3 months, 6 months, whatever you decide). If he hangs in there then you'll know if he is interested in you for your body or for the whole package.

Otherwise, just move on...block his number, email, and whatever ways he has of contacting you. How can we know why he's calling if we don't know him? We can't read his mind. Either talk to him and find out, or let it go and move on.  

Answer 2

Because you did it in an email. Everyone needs closure.. It's emotional abuse if you don't do it in person. He's calling you because he doesn't understand anything that's going on. He has questions. He needs answers otherwise he will answer them on his own and it will take a big toll on his self-esteem. If you care about him you will face him.. IN PERSON.

Answer 3

Call him.  Bring up the fact that he didnt want to hear your voice or come over to see your face but would rather use  cold methods of communication (email & text) to discuss 'us' !  If you tell him 'come over and we'll discuss this in bed' - will he show up showered and primed or show up confused and want to talk? If showered and ready, dont even let him thru the door,  just say 'I thought so! Goodbye and dont come back' and slam & lock the door because he just came for the s*x--if not and wants to talk, do it at the kitchen table or anywhere where you have to sit apart and talk. Goodluck.

Answer 4

Because you sound weak and that kind of guy is what he likes so he can use you so easily.

Answer 5

It doesnt sound like it was working as a relationship. So just turn your phone off for a few days and block him online :)

Answer 6

Really, you've already answered your own question here. You feel used and abused....why would you keep on letting someone treat you that way? You deserve better. Move on and good luck!!

Answer 7

   I knew a girl with a problem like this, she told the guy that she was worried she might be late, or maybe prgo, and he never called again, Worked as she said I could have just been a bit late you know. No lie involved. The guy thought he was so cool he used the nick name of reeb, that's beer in reverse. talk about lame. thought he was God's gift to all women, even tried to bed my wife after we were married, talk of slime, so us your own judgment, if you feel used move on, dump him, tell him nothing or what ever it takes, get a brother of a friend to pose as a new biy friend and scare him off if need be. Just be safe some of these over aggessive types become stalkers.  

Answer 8

He could be hurting and you did let him down hard it seems. But you have a right to privacy and freedom from harassment so he needs to check himself. Tell (write) him you need some time to sort through things and that his messages are only scaring you away. He sounds really mixed up about things and he needs to work on his own self control.

Answer 9

one of JESUS famous quote- one of the greatest thing to do is give someone a chance

id say give him a chance and if he ***** it up, then u know what to do ;)