Hey Saudi arabia please help !!! Family problems !!!?

Question

This Emalee is new and i didn't want to ask on my own Emalee so please have seen alot of wake Questions so understand this isn't one of them !!!

We are very religious people that live in the West and our culture as people from the arab world is known what it is.

i have 2 kids a boy and a girl !!! girl = 17 boy = 25 ....

My daughter doesn't like the abayah she hates it she doesn't have friends because of the abayah because some are like scared -idiots And we forced her to were it with hijab because as she an muslim woman should be !!

but she a met a boy at school and Well she made the biggest mistake in her life she had s*x with him she lost her virginity and she is also pregnant !! my husband doesn't now yet her brother knew and wants to beat her up and i cant allow that god forbid something like this happened to you what will you do ? she will have an abortion ofcource ... but she is a woman now.I hate myself as a mother for this is my fault we all pressured her but here everything is open and free and she wanted it i tryed to tell her this is not the way ... she made the biggest mistake in her life !!

What should i do i am a shamed to say what country i come from also !!! What should i tell my husband /( her father ) is an abortion ok ? and please tell me how should i do !! thank you

Thank you allah be with you

Answer 1

to the poster "h":

Great observation, Thumb Up and you deserves much more than 10 pts ..

and to the asker: i recommend a solution : )

go to a psychatrist, to get a treatment of your 'hate' and 'ignorance'

or, try to do something useful in your life

Answer 2

Firstly, she should have an abortion if she isn't too far along. Her entire life will be affected otherwise, and there is no reason that she should pay for this mistake for her whole life.

You have to remember that we as parents do our best to instill our values in our children. If you know that you have done your best in this matter, you shouldn't feel shame for the choices that your daughter has made. It is her life. Let her live it. She will learn from her mistakes, just like we all do.

I know in the Muslim world it is generally a huge thing for a girl to not be a virgin when married. But in the West, were your daughter lives and will likely marry, it isn't. So relax. It isn't the end of the world.

There is too much emphasis placed on virginity as a gauge for successful parenting in the minds of Muslims, IMHO. Everyone makes mistakes and this one is too overly-emphasized and blown out of purportion. Try to have a more objective perspective by stepping out of your cultural mindset a bit and just looking at the situation without the whole stigma of "Eib, heya mush bint."

Is she a good person? Does she respect and love her parents? Is she a good student, friend, sibling? There is more to life than your virginity.

As far as telling your husband, you have to decide based on his personality if that would be best. Would he harm her? Kick her out of the house? Would he quickly try to force her to marry a cousin or something? What benefit would there be in telling him? If you know that he will only be very sad and hurt and not really be able to do anything constructive like give her good advice, perhaps it is better not to tell him.

EDIT to H: It is not unusual here in the US for some Muslim women to wear an abaya. Of course it is allowed!

Answer 3

my advice is DO NOT take advice from random people on the net on sensitive matters.. you can lose your daughter because of a random advice you got from Yahoo!Answers..

I do not know why you submitted this question on Saudi Arabia category.. you can find some Saudis who drink, steal, have affairs, do not pray, or do not have religious education they might add things that are not from the Quraan or Hadeeth..!

you do not know who will answer your question

I recommend you contact these well trusted websites http://www.islamtoday.net/english/

http://english.islamway.com/

Answer 4

Send her abroad. In Europe we have no problems with woman.

Answer 5

hey I'm from saudi arabia and don't beat her up that's wrong please i mean when the prophet peace be upon him when people said that hes wife had adultery what  did he do? nothing even tell her what he heard about her  she didn't know what he was upset till the truth came out I'm sure u know the story

but it was mistake I'm not a scholar i think you should ask a scholar about the abortion but for the girl i hope you forgive her i mean life there is different it must of been really hard on her she did a mistake make her make DA and ask God for forgiveness i really wish you luck again please ask a scholar about the abortion one that you trust

Answer 6

Last time you posted a question your name was Fatima and you had 3 kids. I give every person the benefit of the doubt, but by making exact the same spelling mistakes and writing the same style........come on now. Are you bored? What have (IF ANY) your family problems to do with KSA anyway? Please move to "Family" or to the section of your own country.

Btw: Where in the West girls wear the Abaya? Headscarf yes, if allowed. But the Abaya?

Salaam

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 7

listen my mother. as my thinking, catch that guy who pregnant her and tell him to marry my daughter with politely. bring them close and talk with love. may be they agree with it. insha Allah god will do better.

dont tell your husband because may be case spoil. God is great.

talk about islam infront of her to become a perfect muslim. only wearing hijab of fear is not islam.