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Hey..can someone plz read this essay and tell me how i can make it better..thnks?

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Spending money in today’s society is becoming more and more of a hassle. What is causing so many people in today’s society to be so conservative with their money? The downfall of our economy has caused many of us to become very careful on what we spend our money on. There are many reasons why so many of us are trying to be careful with the money we earn. No one actually even has anymore extra money to throw around on items they know that they will not need to survive. Another reason that is sweeping through the U.S. is the price of gas and food. The price has gone so high that many rely on their money just so they can get gas and food. This has not only affected the working class but also the owners of businesses. When the owners do not have enough money they will begin to lay off, or even fire workers if necessary. This leaves the workers who have been fired with little or no money at all. People are afraid of being fired so they also begin to save their money for future emergencies. When much of our population is begins to spend as little as possible.

One cause which causes people to not spend any more money is just because they simply do not have any money. Many have lost their jobs and some do not just get paid enough. When prices are at an all time high who would expect others to spend what little they have? The only thing they can spend their money on is the bare necessities.

Spending money is either between the needs and the wants. One can not get what he or she wants anymore. They can only acquire the basics for survival. If ones child cries and cries for a toy or some other type of item, many parents will, even though they know how bad they want to purchase something for their child, not buy whatever it is the child wishes to buy. Reasonably parents are right, but mentally they feel very guilty. If one does not have enough money to spend on miscellaneous items, no matter how bad they want to buy something, they really have no other choice but to go without that item. The only things people really buy are the things they actually need, which leads to spending less on the things they used to buy, and they do this all because simply they do not have any extra money to buy anything else.

Another reason why so many are being careful with their money could be due to the significant decline in our economy. The decline in our economy causes businesses to become less productive and produce less profit. If the economy goes down, businesses have to spend more money to acquire raw materials which ultimately causes the prices of their products to rise. When prices go up many stop buying from businesses because they simply can not afford what the businesses are selling. When businesses and their bosses who provide the working class jobs do not have any money, they have no other choice but to lay off workers or even fire them. When people loose their jobs they have no money to spend at all. Our economy is in recession and is causing many to be careful with their budget.

As our economy falls the price of gas and food goes up, and when that happens no one really has any money to spend on anything else. According to U.S. retail gasoline prices, the price of gas in California, as of June 2, 2008 is 4.242 dollars. The price of gas has gone up by 0.868 dollars in the last year. When the price of gas goes up and people do not have enough money to buy gas, they will have to find other ways to get around as long as these alternate options cost less than using gas. The price of gas is not the only thing gone up, but even the price of food has gone up. According to the U.S. department of agriculture, the price of food has gone up 4.8 percent since 2007. When food also goes up, then many are stuck paying most of their earnings on gas and food. This ultimately causes today’s society to spend less money on other things.

People today are very worried and know that when they retire, social security will not be enough to cover their expenses after retirement. If one does not save up their money they will know that, unfortunately, their retirement plan will to work until they die. If they save they know that if they get very ill or somehow disabled they will know that they have a plan after retirement. Many do not really have an option but to save their money. Social security is declining because our government can not fund it any more, which is causing the working class to save up so they do not have any trouble after retirement. When they start to save, they will have less money to contribute to our economy. When this happens our economy goes even more down, which overall leads more people to spend less and less money because the price of things will keep going up.

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  1. Change the first sentence to something about how people are spending less, the way you have it phrased now makes it sound like there are problems with credit cards or something.

    "No one actually even has anymore extra money to throw around on items they know that they will not need to survive."

    This is a generalization that can easily be proven false.  Use softer wording, such as "Many people don't have as much money to spend on goods that they do not need to survive."

    After the statement about the rising price of gas and food, add a statistic.  

    Eliminate the sentence "The price has gone so high that many rely on their money just so they can get gas and food."

    First sentence of second para: change "any" to "enough"

    Show some support for "prices are at an all time high"

    Sentence "One cannot get what he or she wants." -- show some proof or eliminate it.

    "The only things people really buy are the things they actually need," contradicted in the next part of the sentence, change it to "they are spending more on the things they need."

    "If the economy goes down, businesses have to spend more money to acquire raw materials" is not true in most cases.  Cite the rising prices of commodities.

    "When food also goes up, then many are stuck paying most of their earnings on gas and food." Change "most" to "more".  They could have already been spending most of their income on food and gas.

    About saving -- saving actually does contribute to the economy.  It is used to provide loans to businesses and people, who employ more people.  However, saving's benefits come in the future.  Emphasize how in the short run (which is what you're talking about here) it's not as good for the economy as consumption.

    Good luck!


  2. i'm not reading that; it's too long!

  3. I changed a few things, but it is not too bad.

    Spending money in today’s society is becoming more and more of a hassle.(wouldn’t use the word hassle) What is causing so many people in today’s society to be so conservative with their money? The downfall of our economy has caused many of us to become very careful on what we spend our money on. There are many reasons why so many of us are trying to be careful with the money we earn. (No one actually even has) People do not have extra money to throw around on items they know that they will not need to survive. Another reason is the increasing price of gas and food. The price has gone so high that many rely on their money just so they can get gas and food. This has not only affected the working class but also the owners of businesses. When the owners do not have enough money they will begin to lay off, or even fire workers if necessary. This leaves the workers who have been fired with little or no money at all. People are afraid of being fired so they also begin to save their money for future emergencies.

    One reason people do not spend more money is because they simply do not have any money. Many have lost their jobs and some do not earn enough to begin with. When prices are at an all time high who would expect others to spend what little they have? The only thing they can spend their money on is the bare necessities.

    Spending money has to be balanced between the needs and the wants. One can not get what he or she wants anymore; they can only acquire the basics for survival. If a child cries and cries for a toy or some other type of item, many parents will not give in even though they know how bad they want to purchase something for their child.  Reasonable parents are right, but mentally they feel very guilty. If one does not have enough money to spend on miscellaneous items, they really have no other choice but to go without that item. The only things people really buy are the things they actually need, which leads to spending less on the things they used to buy, and they do this all because simply they do not have any extra money to buy anything else.

    Another reason why so many are being careful with their money could be due to the significant decline in our economy. The decline in our economy causes businesses to become less productive and produce less profit. If the economy goes down, businesses have to spend more money to acquire raw materials which ultimately causes the prices of their products to rise. When prices go up many stop buying from businesses because they simply can not afford what the businesses are selling. When businesses and their bosses who provide the working class jobs do not have any money, they have no other choice but to lay off workers or even fire them. When people loose their jobs they have no money to spend at all. Our economy is in recession and is causing many to be careful with their budget.

    As our economy falls the price of gas and food goes up, and when that happens no one really has any money to spend on anything else. According to U.S. retail gasoline prices, the price of gas in California, as of June 2, 2008 is 4.242 dollars. The price of gas has gone up by 0.868 dollars in the last year. When the price of gas goes up and people do not have enough money to buy gas, they will have to find other ways to get around as long as these alternate options cost less than using gas. The price of gas is not the only thing gone up, but even the price of food has gone up. According to the U.S. department of agriculture, the price of food has gone up 4.8 percent since 2007. When food also goes up, then many are stuck paying most of their earnings on gas and food. This ultimately causes today’s society to spend less money on other things.

    People today are very worried and know that when they retire, social security will not be enough to cover their expenses after retirement. If one does not save up their money they will know that, unfortunately, their retirement plan will to work until they die. If they save they know that if they get very ill or somehow disabled they will know that they have a plan after retirement. Many do not really have an option but to save their money. Social security is declining because our government can not fund it any more, which is causing the working class to save up so they do not have any trouble after retirement. When they start to save, they will have less money to contribute to our economy. When this happens our economy goes even more down, which overall leads more people to spend less and less money because the price of things will keep going up.

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