Hey everybody! Read this poem :) Pretty please with sugar on top? HAHAHA?

Question

Okay, I just made this up on the spot.

Hope you like :)

Sitting in the rain

Dark and cold

Thinking

Which way my life will fold.

Will I be rich

Will I have fame?

Or will I be poor,

Is it all just a game?

I sit up straight

Tears of rainwater blurring my sight.

The future will come soon enough

Make the most of what I have now.

I shine in my own ray of light.

Thankyou everyone. x

Answer 1

yeah u never know what life brings you... i know the feeling.

Answer 2

Dig deeper there is more to be said here expand on this a bit

Answer 3

What you say is fine...but you didn't say it in a new way...you simple wrote down questions that everyone asks.  What you need to do as a poet is to find a new way to say it.  If you can't say it in a new way, then there is no amount of words, writing or editing that will make it good...it might get better technically, but it will fail to provide more light on human nature.  It doesn't mean that it wasn't a good attempt, it just means that some times you need to put a little more effort or reflection into a poem before posting it for comment :)  It has nice images, but it's a little shallow...and I suspect that was not your intent.

..keep writing