Hey my son and daughter CONTENTLY fight i need help any body got some suggestions,stories or tips?

Question

my son and daughter contantley fight my son punches,hits her,talks bad about her and pulls her hair. and my daughter constantley hits him,slaps him,yells at him,talks bad about him.

i don`t know what to do i don`t like to spank or slap them and they never obey me when i ground them. any body got any stories tips or suggestion i need help their ages aare 11 and 12

Answer 1

Too late! Should have started wayyyyy sooner letting them know who is boss. That is why they do not listen to you at 11 and 12. You say you do not like to spank and slap but did you like to discipline at all? If you did not or were not consistent you are not going to get through now.

Answer 2

Well I'm not sure if this is going to help or not but here we go..... My 16 year old sister and 14 year old brother were fighting all the time and calling each other r****d. My mom kept telling them to stop and the didn't listen so this is what she did. She told them that the next time they hit each other and called each other r****d she was going to move the coffee table out of the room and then they were going to have to fight it out between themselves. Whom ever won the fight was a r****d because mom was going to punish them to their room (and when she does that you lose EVERYTHING in the room except for you bed and dresser) and whom ever lost the fight was also a r****d because they just let a r****d beat them up. Needless to say they have stopped calling each other that horrible name and have cooled down on the hitting each other. I think it normal to hit your siblings (I'm almost 20 and still hit my 18 year old brother) As long as it doesn't get to the point where theres blood mom always let us go at it.

Answer 3

You cannot ignore it. You cannot let them fight it out. Thats entirely the wrong thing to do. You need to get tough! You're in charge here. NOT THEM.

My brother and I used to fight a lot. I mean FIGHT.  He hit me with a TV. I hit a tree with HIM. We used to fight so much that the police came out to our house. Neighbors would try to break us up.

When I was 25 and he was 23, we were arrested for fighting each other in my parent's front yard. We spent the night in jail.

I'm not a violent person by nature. I hardly even spank my kid. I never fight with anyone but my brother.

He will fight with anyone. He's in jail right now for lots of bad stuff all of it related to violent behavior. He's been in and out of jail for it since he was 17 or 18. This time it looks like hes going to be there for a while several years probably. Because he hurt his wife.

You don't want that kind of stress. You might have to accept that your kids won't get along. The might not even like each other when they're grown.

If I were you, I'd seek some kind of counseling. I'm not saying this lightly. This kind of thing can get out of hand a lot faster than you think.

Don't ignore it. Get help. It will help them to understand the seriousness of the situation and you might learn how to handle it better too.

Good luck. (and I mean it)

Answer 4

good question... they don't obey you? if there is something that they want, and you don't think that they need it, don't give that thing... also try to discipline them better... if they try to disobey you, and raise their voice to you, be more furious than them... don't be scared... in the same time, be their best friend... help them if they are in a problem... teach them to be polite, and care each one another... if they are use to it, they should be good children and make you proud one day..

Answer 5

That is EXACTLY the same with me and my brother. We are the same ages.

Well, this is the age that everyone fights. They are starting or are already in puberty and get very mad very easily - trust me. What my mother does is tries to disract us, like giving up two seperate things to do. Like, say that I wanted to go on the computer, she would let me go on for a certain amount of time, then she would tell my brother to go and watch tv or something.

You dont really want to raise your voice, but in a firm and consistent manner, tell them that you are dissapointed in the for fighting because you thought they were better than that. Or something like that.

Honestly, I think this phase will pass, but just in a matter of time.

Best of Luck.