Hey! thinking adoption- and already pregnant? I am?

Question

I am expecting twins, a gril and a boy. But I am also considering adopting a little girl from Ireland. She is beautiful. She is my cousins baby, but my cousin is giving her up. Should I take on the responsibility? the baby is 2 weeks old. I want her so bad, but I am also starting an online relationship with a great older man. I am 21 he is 47? any advice?

Answer 1

It sounds a little crazy, but do what feels right!  If you can pull it off then go for it girl!  Wow, God bless you! :)

Answer 2

3 kids and no husband?!?  Sounds like you're doing things a little backwards.  Beware of older men.

Answer 3

Dont listen to any one else. If you can handle three little ones at the same time...go for it honey and the more power to ya. Who cares if there are others out there who want to have children and cant. Thats their problem...you can have them and adopt. If they wanted children that badly they could adopt older children of get a surrogate.

Answer 4

oh my where to start.  first you are carrying twins and the father of these children is not the man you are with.  you are looking to get involved with a man online that is over double your age, and you think you want to add a 3rd child?  you need to get your life on track and find out what you want for yourself and take care of the 2 you have on the way before you should even think about taking on the responsibility of another child.

Answer 5

Well how far along are you?  The reason I ask if you’re fairly near your due date, could you handle having 3 kids so close in age? It  would probably be the closet thing to having triplets.  I don’t see what a relationship with an older man would even have to do with you adopting.  Once your twins are born and if you adopt this baby you’ll be lucky if your able to get on line once a day.  Do you have money to support 3 young children?  One baby is costly, and just think what it will be with 3.  You’ll have to have 3 of everything, do you have a car that you can put 3 car seats in? These are the question you need to ask yourself. If you can handle all of that, go for it.

Answer 6

It's a h**l of a lot of responsibility, twins are going to be hard enough. If you think you can handle it and are financially capable then go for it, it would kind of be like having triplets. Be prepared to always be on the go and never have time to yourself but I'm sure if you are serious about it then you can handle it. Good luck

Answer 7

I have to say that it almost seems unfair becauser there are women out ther who CAN'T have kids and here you can have them, yet want to adopt as well. It is honorable that you want to, but the other issue is, you are obviously not married, why not allow a good married couple adopt this baby?

I have a friend who was forced to have a c section at 27 she and her husband have been waiting for years to adopt.

Also I don't think the internet relationship is a very good idea either! You are pregnant and probably by someone else, perhaps you should give relationships a rest for a bit!

Answer 8

I admire your desire to adopt your cousin's child and to raise her with your family.  However, anytime that you adopt, it is extremely stressful to both you and the child.  Being that the child is a baby, the stress may not be as strong on the baby, but you do want to keep in mind that you will have basically "triplets" and it sounds like you are alone.  Make sure that you think all of the situations through before you commit to something this serious.  

Good luck to you and your cousin.

Answer 9

wow! that is alot to take on, three new born babies and a new realtionship. I would do what your heart is telling you to do. And also is this something that you can afford to do? That is something else I would think about. Good Luck

Answer 10

if u have the money, the patience and the love, go ahead.

Answer 11

I'm going to say that that is a bad idea. You're really young, single, and expecting twins. Thats a whole lot on your plate already!  I just get the vibe from you that you're "wanting this baby so bad"  in the way that someone wants a new puppy. You seem to have noooooo idea what sort of responsibility that raising 3 newborn babies would take!  

BTW: The great guy is prolly just looking to get some action...I would stay away..sounds like a perv to me. If he was so great, he wouldn't have to search the internet for a girlfriend.

Answer 12

Are you independently wealthy?

Answer 13

Have you considered what it will take to raise 3 children with no father?  MOST important of all:  Have you considered the life you will be able to provide for 3 children by yourself?  This is not the time to think of just what you want at the moment.  Think about what your children will need for the next 18+ years.  Can you provide all the moral, spiritual, financial support for 3 kids plus the time, energy and non-stop work this will require?  As for the older man you met on-line: There are few men in the world that would be able and willing to take 3 children (not their children) to raise, love, support and nurture.  This man is someone you do not really know and have never met.  Please think about it all.  Good luck and may God bless the children and you.

Answer 14

let me get this straight,and not trying to sound rude, but you are expecting twins, not in a relationship and you want to adopt a child?your 21 and wanting 3 kids?AND your trying to pursue a relationship with a much older man who you dont even know...that does not sound like a situation any parent would wanna put their kids in.you dont sound like you need another child added.wait until you are more stable and older.

Answer 15

This sounds like a really big responsibility especially if you are expecting twins.  It would be a wonderful thing but you will have no time for a relationship and you need to think financially too. I would let your twins come and see if you are already overwhelmed if you are not then maybe you will be able to handle it.

Answer 16

Do what is in your heart. If you feel for the child because your cousin is cannot care for her and you have the means to support her go for it. If you have doubts about finances to take care of her don't do it. Despite the fact that you'll love her with all your heart you have to think of the babies in your belly first. keep in mind that your dating life is gonna be rough if you add another little one. And a word of caution, becareful about dating online. you never know who you are "really" talking too and you don't need to put any of your children in that kind of danger. Not only that his age is enough to make me say forget it. Only you know what you feel so if you like him go for it. Just remember that he is WAY older than you and the chances of you having something in common is slim to none. I would really work on taking care of your new arrivals than dating, no offense. Good luck to you and your children!!!!!!