Hi, okay im 17 ..and pregnant..i only live with my dad and dont no where my mum is... how do i tell my dad!?

Question

my dad has made it clear that me living with him has been a hassle anyway and got in the way of his plans! but he will still go on and on about me going to college and doing something proper! i am in college...i was on the pill so this was not planed but i will not have an abortion! the only option is having this baby!!

i have no idea how it will work at this moment and I'm terrified of telling him! he will go crazy and from past discussions or if the subject has ever been brought up i have a strong feeling he will kick me out...i cant see that disappointment and anger in his face i'm so scared! AND EVERYONE KEEPS PUSHING ABORTION ON ME! i no i'm young but this has happened for a reason! and i may not have much money but physically i am more then capable of protecting and looking after my child!

just please help with any advice really i just feel lost! sorry this is long! :-/ thanks for reading! xx

Answer 1

not once do you mention the baby's father, is he a b/f or was it just a one-off

your wrong things don't happen for a reason they happen coz you mess up or you let them happen, if you have no money and no where to live how will you cope with a baby ?.

maybe its time you asked your self just what kind of life can you give this child.

there is no easy way just tell him your pregnant, yes he will go mad but he will also see there is no point in kicking you out.

best of luck..xx

Answer 2

so sorry but abortion is the best thing

Answer 3

well, by speaking is a good way of communication. but it's a heck of a burden for someone of your age

Answer 4

It's a big responsibility but if you're certain you're keeping it then continue with college, it shouldn't affect that. Explain to your dad it is a personal choice of yours and as a caring father, he may get mad to start off with, but I'm sure he'll come round to accepting it. Good luck with college and the baby.

♥ Kimmiii

Answer 5

It is possible to continue your education and to be prosperous whilst having a child at 17, but as you've probably already have guessed, its going to be hard as h**l. You need to have a sit down with your father or better yet a counsel with him, the boy who impregnated you and his parents. You need to do whats best for that life that growing inside of you.

Answer 6

i think that YOU must tell your dad and i don't think that if he is a mad man that he will stand with you and help u to marry or left this man tel u become 20 and i think that u must be away from your Friends for some time

Answer 7

My sister experienced the same situation, and let me tell you, it was hard for everyone in our family. Yes, my parents were very upset, but they got over it and they now don't know what life would be like without my niece. Your father should love you no matter what, unconditionally. Granted, he may be angry for a while, maybe even a long while, but he will get over it, it is not the end of the world. Raising a child is a very, very difficult thing, but it is rewarding and totally worth it. And do not, DO NOT, compromise your beliefs just because people are telling you to do one thing or another, whether it be abortion, or whatever. I think it would be a good idea to sit down with your father with a third party, someone whom you trust, or feel comfortable with. Hopefully this will make you feel a little less intimidated when telling him the news. You will get through this though, it's going to be hard, but you will make it!

Answer 8

I was 17 when i had my daughter. And although my parents where together i was so scared to tell them. I thought leave a note and run. I know now it was a  Bad bad idea. My dad found me that same night and brought me home. I thought i was going to be killed. My dad took the whole thing a lot better than my mam. All she could say was "your life is over, what are you going to do". But abortion was never an option. In time she got used to the idea. I have a beautifully  daughter now, finished school have a great job, and we are very happy.

No one can really tell you how to deal with this. All you can do is be strong for you and your baby and no matter what remember your true friends and family love you and will be there for you

Answer 9

wow... good luck with your situation. I say you go and tell your dad immediately. Sure the initial reaction is definitely predicted... shouts, tears, curses probably. But, h**l you go and do it. then, maybe, the rest would fall into place afterwards...

godbless.

Answer 10

You need to sit down and talk to him like an adult (and I hope he can listen like an adult)

Explain that you were on the pill so you haven't been careless but tell him you really need his support now (emotional as well as financial)

If you really are determined that you don't want an abortion then don't have one. Nobody else has the right to make that decision for you.

You are young and you are going to be a mother so yes its a difficult situation at the moment but its not the worst thing that could happen.

Good luck hun I hope he can be a dad for you now because you really need support.

I'm old enough to be your mum so I know that if my daughter came home and told me she was pregnant I'd probably give her a bit of a lecture on being careful but then we'd look forward to meeting and loving the new member in our family.

I hope things work out for you all x

Answer 11

I know that it must be a real tough tym for u but i believe that all of us have trials in our lives, i personally believe that babies are a gift from God to us and that it is our responsibility to take care of our own babies because your responsible in the first place to get pregnant. I believe that abortion is wrong because i believe every soul is  created for purpose and that we should not snatch that away. 17 is young but what do you say about 12... no i never got pregnant at 12 nor had a baby at 12 but i cared for a by at 12 because his mother was disabled and yes it was tough but the love i have for MY BABY ( i should have the ryt to say tat since i look aftered him)  will never GO!!!  It was hard but i pulled through and so did his mum. Life is hard but when we make a mistake we can rectify them. I believe babies are a blessing and whenever i hear abortion it brings tears into my eyes because that baby has the potential to be a human being and live life.

If you wish to look after the child i will keep you in my prayers and hope that you pull through, if a twelve year old can why can't you??

I suggest you talk this out with your dad in a calm manner because at the end of the day he is repsonsible for you likewise you are responsible of your child. I am sure that he will understand and you have to be independant as well and i hope that your father supports you too.

You cannot be forced into doing anything so this is your personal choice, people may have their best interests at heart like i have for u but that doesn't mean that they can force their opinions on you.

I will pray for you and your child to be healthy and bring joy into your life, like my lil baby did and still does this lil baby is my cuzin bruva and i adore him!!! I am more of a mother to him then a sista and have always done everything in my ability for him to see his WINNING smile!!! LOl

assalamu alaikum wb

May the peace and blessings of God be with you

Answer 12

Have you thought about giving the baby to a couple who's unable to have one of their own that can support a child?  You will be quite a blessing to someone if you do that.  If you go that route, your dad may be more accepting of what happened.  

Then again, you may really not be pregnant.  You are on hormone pills that will likely skew the results.  See a doctor.

Edit: But if you are pregnant, you can do an open adoption where you communicate with the adoptive parents.

Answer 13

Thank heavens that you are over the age of consent!  So you will not be hassled by the police or social workers at least.  It also means that you can involve the father of your baby.  It would be very nice if he took an interest in the child too.

It is likely your father will kick you out, so you will need adequate housing and financial support.  First stop therefore is the Citizens Advice Bureau, who can give you a list of useful addresses.

Next stop (and whether you are a believer or not doesn't matter) is your nearest Catholic priest.  Try the Catholic College Chaplain for starters, and then your nearest Catholic Church - catch him after Mass.  The Catholic Church will be delighted that you have chosen to keep the child and have charities set up especially to help young mothers in your position and offer real practical advice and assistance, and also a network of mothers within the church parish who can act as your mother and help with baby things and advice on feeding and all sorts of things.

You will also need to tell your GP, so ante-natal classes can be set up, and a midwife and community nurse allocated to you.

Once you have taken some advice, you can confront your dad, telling him your plans and your practical proposals to make it work without messing him about.  I do hope he doesn't take it too badly.

Such a pity you are not my daughter, since I would be thrilled to bits to be a grandad.  It would give me an incentive to clear out that spare room!

Answer 14

well my mom had me at 15 she told me that she didnt no what 2 do either she said she had 2 tell my grandparents any how cuz they would of found out bout it so when she told them she thought they were going 2  b mad and yell at her but she said they were a lil upset but they helped her out wit me while she went 2 school  and work but idk maybe ur dad is diffrent

Answer 15

get a family member or friend failys better that understands to help break it to him but remember that they are there for moral support only

Answer 16

First, the father of your child should know.Is he willing to support and raise the child?

I know you are very scared and nervous about this situation, but dont worry.

It is a good thing you dont want abortion..that's basically killing a life for your mistakes.

Anyway, get your father AND another family member and tell them.

Pack your bags when your dad is not home and if he throws you out you have everything in hand. And also gather up your savings, just in case.

Also, always have a PLAN B..before you tell your dad about this ...tell your boyfriend you are going to have to live in his house if your dad throws you out. Make it clear it's his baby too.

Good Luck..

and dont be stressed

Everything happens for a reason.

I hope that teaches you a lesson on how to raise your child :)

Have a great life & family!

Answer 17

this really makes no sense.

17 in college? I'm 17, turning 18, and WILL be in college.

he will go on about me going to college?

-I thought you were IN college?

What type of college are you going to?

this just doesn't sound real.

Answer 18

erm... good luck with that

try sitting ur dad down, with another family member who you can trust and talking sensibly, dont shout!!

sorry, bit of a feeble answer, but good luck, and remember, its your child, so you have the final say!!

regards,

Mike

Answer 19

1.No offense but your dad kinda of a bad father.

2.When you tell your dad(which should be now)be calm and say that you need during this time more than anytime and really sorry

Answer 20

My friend left a note to her dad saying how scared she was and how she felt in her dads car. Try that if you can't confront him.

If you can't raise a baby and abortion isn't an option then have the baby and give him up for adoption. Babies go quickly so he will go to a good home. It will hurt though.

Answer 21

Everything should be alright, even if your dad does get mad, it's not your fault.. He's your dad and he should learn to control himself. Thats none of your concern.

What i would do is go into a local hospital and see if you can get any info about afterschool places where you can discuss among other woman how to go through with certain things involving pregnancy and to get as much friendly motherhood advice as you need, and alot of the clubs you can go to are really helpful and you can talk about things you and the members can relate to.

I was pregnant at the age of 16 and i know exactly what your going through, the best thing to do is to be social with your friends, join afterschool mums clubs where you can get brochures for in hospitals or chemists and most importantly, eating lots of fruit and vegetables will maintain a healthy body and you will not feel so bad.

Your also at college and college years are the best and most fun years, so you should take things easy and relax and not worry about college so much at the moment, you should use this time to go out with your friends and do what you want.

I woudn't worry,

a baby is a beautiful gift, and your friends should help you through tough times of pregnancy.

Your going to love spending time with your baby, you and your baby will have great times together.

im cheering for you!

Laura A.

Answer 22

Try every avenue to find out where your mum is ! Every girl needs there mum, especially at a difficult time like this! You can ask relatives ( or your dad)or search the electoral roll on the internet, or contact the Salvation Army, look them up on the net or the yellow pages - they have a service which helps find people.

If you feel in any way having a baby is not the best thing for you or you think there are other things you want to do in life before you have a baby,then go to your local family planning clinic and look at options for  an abortion.

Before you tell your dad you are pregnant find out about housing that is available in your area, contact your local council or housing advice service and get your name down on the housing list,  and also make arrangements to live with someone else if he kicks you out ,if that is possible.

When you do tell your dad you are pregnant (wait a while!) tell him politely , nicely and calmly . Tell him that you would be so happy and grateful if he does not kick you out, and that you are on the list/or going to go on the list to get housing. Also tell him that you love him and you have nowhere else to go.

If he does throw you out and you have nowhere to go contact your local council for emergency housing or a hostel or go to stay with a friend or relative . Try to contact your mum . Good Luck!

Answer 23

gosh sweetie ive been there i just had my daughter and she is 4 months!!! as a mother i would never use abortion as an answe.....remember its you having the baby.....not ur friends. tell your dad, after all his is the closest thing you  have and i more than sure that he will be mad at first but then he'll come around....my mom and dad went off on me but then they loved that i was being  responsible and taking matters into my own hands...... if you were on the pill then it happened for a reason....its ok dont be scared.....( even though i know its hard)......

take care,,,,,,,,

Answer 24

If you do not want the baby, give it up for adoption.  Ir you want the baby, get a part-time job, so you can at least help with the cost of the baby.  Just tell him.

Answer 25

i suggest you take yur dad on a one-on-one convo.

explain it to him calmly and patiently. all dads before their kid[s]

are born , they need to know what to expect.Yes, the age is kinda young, my friend had her kid at 16 and shes 20.Shes doing really good. Do not have an abortion, your killing an innocent child. You got pregnant at this age for a reason. by time you will discover why this happened. Tell your dad this kid means everything to you and you would do anything for it and that your dad took you in because he would do anything for you. tell him that he knew he couldnt see you in somebody else's family. tell him that this kid needs that. tell him you finished high school and your in college and your working on getting your degree and you will get it. remember everything has a reason.