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Hi , please review this poem

by  |  earlier

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Silent Victory.-Ru hewage

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Sleep clad eyes barely awake,

Melt in fear at molten rage;

Sickened pain born of these questions,

My moments dusted heavy with query;

The hour is yet not nigh!

When victory that is mine will sun;

Holding steadfast the quiet knowledge;

Stand dour against the racing horse.

Strife ridden wagging heavy,

Imagine shutting my ears much as child;

Potent pregnant threats leave my hearing,

Victory is not far!

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  1. It's pretty contradictory at times, it's really peculiar how you could be blood thirsty and bent on victory in one moment and hopeless and afraid the next. Other than that, it's very archaic and I just feel like this doesn't capture the true spirit of a soldier.


  2. A bit archaic, reminded me of Yeats.  

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