Hi all, mine is love marriage since last 12 years, but my papa doesnt want to meet me i love him, wht to do?

Question

i got married without their permission so this hurt them very much but now i understand that was my mistake and time my decision was not right. after that i tried many times to call him but he never picked my phone, he doesnt want to keep any relation with me now, but i know how i have spent these 12 years but now i miss them very much, nd dont want to live without them, please help me friends.

Answer 1

I really don't get your question exactly...

Answer 2

dont give up

keep trying

show him that u are happy with ur new family and get him to meet ur daughter  

he may be angry with u but not his grandchild

Answer 3

Hi,

It is difficult to change some people if they r egoistic. But keep trying. How many brothers and sisters u hv? How old r ur kids and is ur dad close with ur kids?

I am sure ur dad loves u, but his ego doesnt let him express it. Wait for him till he change himself. If he likes spending time with ur kids, make ur kids ask him why he hates his daughter but likes daughter's kids. Some times kids asking such unanswerable questions will make them give up.

what ever it is, sure ur dad loves u.

msg me in YM if u wish

Answer 4

wait for more time......

what about your kids, does he see them?

Answer 5

keep on trying, 12 years is a long time. if you are happy with your spouse than let him know, that you are all settled and happy.

maybe you can involve some common friends and family, they may pursue him for you.

Answer 6

I do not like parents who act in such a selfish way.

Sorry to say this, but I think that it is absolutely wrong to put the circumstances over the love we feel for our children. And you as a mother should know this as well.

I mean in society people talk so much about family status and family honor but these people simply forget the persons behind these stories.

I would rather call it this way: Hurt pride, false pride to be exactly.

Parents should be there to encourage their children and not making their life impossible.

What happens here is, that your parents did not agree with your marriage and decided to punish you with silence, just as you would not exist anymore.

12 years is a long time and your parents are really thick headed and live in their world of false pride.

I mean parents always want the best for their children but they rather forget that their children are also persons who do have their own way of life, their own thoughts and their own ideas what their life should be like.

Otherwise there would never happen any progress in the world. Children do have the obligation to find their own way of life and discrepant from the ideas their parents have.

And of course children have the right to make their own mistakes. How would children learn to become adults without ever committing any mistakes?

Just think what would have happened if you had lived your life the way your parents decided for you?

Okay, it seems that your marriage finally did not work out well or you are simply going through a crises as most of the marriages go through from time to time and all you do is panic in an immature way. I don’t know because the information you have given is not very specific.

No, your parents would not have made your life perfect although you would have always done exactly what they demanded from you.

No ones life is perfect.

Who would guarantee you a better life if you had married somebody of your parents’ choice? Nobody. Arranged marriages fail the same way as love marriages, even worth, because once an arranged marriage fails you would not only have to cope with your own personal problems due to divorce and so on – you would even have to cope with family pressure who would remind you day after day things like family pride, absurd traditions and stuff like that… but arranged marriages go through similar crises and the worst thing about them is that in many cases both partners do not even have the possibility to remember a beautiful past together when love was fresh and new – because there actually was no love ever in their marriage.

Your parents do still manipulate you and still treat you as if you were a minor.

They still oppress you with their silence and disapproval.

Maybe this is one of the reasons of the material problems you do have actually. You are not aware of this, but maybe you blame your husband for the bad relationship you have with your family and you make him feel horrible, guilty… and he turns his back on you… but you did the same to him a long time before.

Honestly you should focus on the education of your daughter and try to improve your marriage.

You should learn to live your own life and make the best out of it.

Your parents do not talk with you because of their own fault, they are bitter people who misunderstand and abuse the concept of “family honor”… they use these words to make you feel miserable and small.

Family honor should mean to help each other and stand to each other no matter what the situation is like and of course, forgive each other and be a real family no matter what happens.

Your parents do not act like parents should do. In the first place they should have accepted your decision to get married with the partner you have chosen, because it was your decision and parents are supposed to be supportive and at least try to understand their children.

What do you expect from them now? Forgiveness? But there is really nothing you did to them! You simply lived your life… there is nothing you did wrong.

Try to concentrate on your own happiness and your own way to go ahead in your life.

You can´t change people’s opinions, although they are your parents.

You can write them a letter and ask them to get to know their granddaughter if they are interested. If they do not answer, forget them… Parents who mistreat and blackmail their children psychologically this way should not get close to them again.

Parents should behave like parents and love and accept their children the way they are and not act like irrational and absurd judges over their children’s life.

Try to get your life in order first and try to be a good mom to your daughter.

Answer 7

Ask questions to him, like:

- Why? [it's reasonable to ask questions and expect answers].  

Answer 8

Don't give up?

Answer 9

why doesnt ur pappa meet u..u havent clarified..if u tell that we cd help

Edit : well..u cd keep trying..if he doent talk on phone send letter saying ure sorry..get ur kids to call him..speak wth ur mom and siblings to help