Hi everyone ! well my story is so bad that i fear to ask it. ?

Question

I belong to a conservative hindu family in a metropolitan city in india. my story sucks, when i was in my college i found my soulmate. i was 23 at that time, now i am 29 year old lady now. In india, mostly the children r dependent on their parents for taking marriage deciions and it has to be done with their wishes mostly. nowi was in too much love with a guy. he loved me like crazy as well, i spoke to my mom but she didnt agree and told me taht i had to marry by my parents wishes otherwise it would bring a very tarnishedd image to the family and that it was my duty to marry as per their wishes and that it was impossible to marry as perr my wishes, actually the guy ws not doing good professionaly, also my mom said that he doesnt look as handsome as me. now i got engaged to a very rich guy as per their wishes but he came to know of our affair and he broke the engagement. my father was devasted on that and told me that i brought a bad name to the family as my wedding was the first wedding of the house being the eldest daughter. i started feeling so guilty, ia gain asked my mother that can i marry my beloved? and she plainly refused. they got me married to a rich guy again and it didnt worked again. during all this time my beloved told me that i have cheated on him and he was absolutely shatterd on hearing about my marriage with another guy as i went as per my family wishes, he kept telling me to secretely marry him as my parents would never agree but i just kept denying it and told him that i just cant go against my parents wishes . i told him that my parents r emotionally blackmailing me and i had to abide by their decision ( i am talking aboiut the year 2002), the marriage to the rich guy also failed. now my sweetheart is married with a beautiful kid.. and i have become single again.. i cant sleep, eat, drink and cant concentrate on my work as i think i made a huge blunder. i knew that he is my soulmate. i love him like crazy and just feel like dying without him. i have stopped talking to my parents now and maintain no relations with them. . ( p.s i am a very emotional person and i think my parents just played that card and blackmailedd me emotionally, although my beloved kept requesting me that i should marry him secretely but i didnt had the courage to against my father)- i just want to ask. who's fault was that mine or my parents?? as this question is killing me day and night.PLEASE HELP

Answer 1

Hi Lady,

Sorry to hear abt that. There is no point in trying to find whos fault it is. As you know, conservative indian families are like this. Now ur parents may regret for messing up ur if with their choice of guy, they also may feel that YOU messed up with falling in love. Love before marriage is considred as something very bad and unacceptable in most indian families. This is only because they care much more for their kids.

But, when you were aware and sure that ur parents wont accept love marriage, you should hv been carefull that u dont get struck like this. No point in starting something that will never get thro.

After your marriage, i would say, it is all left to you to be smart enough to get alone with ur hubby and mak a happy family. Sure it takes bit of time in arranged marriage. But sure a smart girl can make it a happy family.

Life is about accpt what it coms our way rather than kep think of something that can never happen. There r many girls and guys who loose their love and settle for waht their parents fix. And they do live happily and get over with their past love.

Now, anyway, it is a closed chapter of urs with ur ex love. Remember he is married now. Never accept his offer of getting married secretly and hv a life in the dark side. Put urself in his wife's plac and think over.

In my opinion, he is just looking for some extra s*x.........no other commitment is there. If he offers that to you, then what is his commitment level to his WIFE & KID?

Life doesnt stop anywhere for anyone. Look ahead abt what u hv to do next. Sure there will be something that u can do. Love is only part of life for anyone. That is not the only thing in life.

Msg me in YM if you wish. Sure will help u to com out of this and put back ur life like anyone else.

my id is frndly20052010

Answer 2

well you were young and it was a really tough decision. however, everything happens for a reason. you may think that he is the one now, but if you arent together he isnt the one. someday you will meet the one and you will know why this all had to happen !  

Answer 3

It was completely your parents fault.  I don't mean any disrespect, but I completely hate when stuff like this happens.  A 29 year old still having decisions made for her!  I know it's your religion and all but I'm sorry, I don't agree with it, I mean, it hasn't exactly made you happy, has it?  I'm really sorry things didn't work out between you and your soul mate, but I'm glad you broke off contact with your parents and hope you find a great guy.  You never know, he could be just around the corner!