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Hi i am 15 and am writing a story just for something to do im not pro so plz tell me what u think of story?

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“ Hey, my names Lewis Carters you might of heard of me my nickname is the king of the aces. I’m a two time world heavy weight boxer but these days I am living the true American mans dream. I’m not a man who belongs to a ethnic group who believe the world is there oyster. In fact I’m just a normal guy in retirement spending my last days with my loved ones, my family. I don’t deserve every thing I got in fact I am very fortunate. My lives been a long Rollo caster ride been locked up in the nick for something I didn’t do. Then again I’ve been very extravagant in my life time doing things that an average guy would never do. I’ve pushed my limits so far that now I’m in a black hole wondering why, how, and where? I did all these things. Now me the toughest, and most hard-headed guy in sports world is fearing for what will be the consequence after every thing I do. The situations you would get passed easily like answering the door, and answering the phone and even receiving mail through the letter box gets me cautious. All this because I did bad things but for the right reason. Whenever I think about them its like by body shivers and I literally fill like I have hypothermia. It has been now 3 years since I retired from boxing and it has been 3 years since all these deep and disturbing devilish secrets have been bond aging in my mind. Now I’m going to reveal the truth to all my fans and all them reporters of what happened in my eyes. Its so hard to tell you the agonising story of pain, love, and hatred the reporter I told will tell you in my exact words”.

The build up 1999

The streets of New York were quiet, nothing was alive and nothing had motion. It was boxing day half seven in the evening most job workers of the big city were sleeping in their homes tired from all the fuss Christmas day had offered them. The mothers were satisfied with the joys which had been blessed on the families in this time of the year. Also the children who thought Santa existed were chuffed with there top of the range clothes and gifts which had been given to them on Christmas morning, however the family men were still recovering from all the debts that they owed to the manipulating bills and presents they could not afford. To make things worse they were also recovering from the hangovers which had been given to them from the brothers in laws and their obsession always to drink vodka on every celebration. It was a time of year they hated and despised however were hiding it to keep the children happy and keep safe from the desperate wifes bellowing down their ears. They were now looking forward to nothing except a financial disaster for the new year on the other hand they were still praying for one thing. That the conference in the morning for the big boxing fight between the 2 black American fighters Lewis Carters and James Husky went well and the fight was to go forward.

By now it was eight o clock, paparazzi were outside the queens park palace waiting for Lewis Carters to arrive at the conference. He would often do this to build suspense in the atmosphere and get all the people from his home town, Brooklyn, to cheer him on when he got there. James Husky was already in the building., he was Lewis Carters opponent and is the heavy weight champion. He has been fighting professional for 25 years and has been undefeated since he had the belt- he has had eight fights since he had had won the title and has either knocked his opponents out within the first two rounds or they have got so hurt in the fight from his deadly combinations of punches that the coaches and trainers have thrown in the towel. It was going to be the best fight since Muhammad Ali and Joe Frasier fought it out in the famous fight known commonly as the gorilla in manila. Husky was a fairly tall man with a muscular build, he had a very quick reacting mind in the ring, he was a powerful puncher and the unordinary thing about him is that he can fight either orthodox or southpaw stance in the ring. He was given the nickname James the power man Husky after knocking Fredson juniour out in the 2nd round with a lethal uppercut which knocked one of fredsons moulders out of his mouth blood was all over the ring and it was classed to be one of the most memorable fights in history. What made it unordinary was this was when he was in the cruiser weight and the power of the punch was the equivalent of Geroge Foremans awesome hooks.. James always stay focused on the aim of the fight which is to win and that integrity and spirit has won him most of his fights. A characteristic which made him stand outside the ring was that he was very crotchety this was also the case after his fights and in public. Whenever he was victorious over one of his fights he would always end up yelling at a bewildered reporter who he would end up either pushing onto the floor. Even though he was like this, it was what made him entertaining to watch and he is known to have one of the most amazing attitudes to live. In the conference room Husky was wearing an black swage suit with a black striped **** and blue aqua coloured tie, he was sitting in there patiently waiting for the conference to progress.

While James Husky was inside sitting on lined table on the right side of the room sipping his glass of squeezed lemon, loud chaotic noises were coming from outside. Outside was a large Grey gold plated 550 Ferrari Maranello. It had top of the rand platinum rims everyone in the neighbourhood could hear its engine roaring whilst pouncing foward , it was being blocked by a crowd and the car was unable to move forward so it pulled to the side of the curve and stopped. The passengers door was opened and Bobby Norton approached onto the road. Bobby Norton was Lewis Carters promoter and had been his promoter for years. He was experienced at what he did and was also a promoter of other great fighters like Ben Gills Olympic silver medallist in welter weight and also Benvollio Dulcet heavy weight champion from 1997 to 1998 however he was less popular when he was defeated by “James the power man Husky” in 1998. Norton was a very popular man also known for when he used to be a entrepreneur for many successful training businesses located all over the States and Europe however he gave all his businesses to his oldest son Thomas Norton mainly due to being so busy in his promoting work. On the other hand nobody really cared about his career professions just cared about him being a good looking multi millionaire mainly because of the many privatized companies that he owns. Which could be anything leisure companies, electronics or even a broad way drug racket for a mob living in little Italy but who knows nobody really tried to get on his bad side in public and in the media, due to the several people who have crossed him in their lives have received extra attention from his body guards which isn’t a pretty site.

Ferraris back seat couldn’t be seen through because of the tinted windows. Suddenly the doors opened and Jerry Carters came out of the back seat , Jerry was Lewis’s uncle and trainer. Five years he has been training Lewis to become the ultimate boxing fighter, Lewis used to be trained by his father ,Carl Carters, however he was killed whilst locking up the gym on a week night. He was stabbed retentively in

the back while locking the gyms front doors.

Even though Lewis lost his father at such a important part in his life their dream was to make Lewis become heavyweight champion by the time he reached his Forties. Lewis knew he was undefeated for five fights in a row when his father was killed. It somehow struck him in his mind that whoever killed his father wanted him dead to stop Lewis achieving his potential. He knew it and so did his uncle Jerry and they were determined to become the world most magnificent fighter in the states. Local media stations have been announcing the fight for weeks knowing it will be great, this fight is what Lewis has been waiting for with Forty wins and zero losses. Every time he trained in the gym his father was last seen, every time he goes for jogs he thinks he would never of got were he is if his father didn’t inspire him. So the least he could do I share the dream with his father in the after world to become undisputed heavy weight champion “ Carter the king of aces” he was given this name by his mother when he was only nine years of age because he was acing every completion he went to. The fight will be Huskys hardest challenge and it will be a incredible bout between the two but disputes have been argued saying Carter will knock Husky out in the first round because of his great speed, power and confident personality. Lewis climbed out of the car with a black suit on with a red shirt without a tie. The roaring was incredible all his fans were putting there hands out but he just walked forward not showing just a few respect he believed is you shake one mans hand ,you, should shake every ones. 'Hearing a commotion outside, Husky stood up and strode to the window. Looking down onto the sidewalk, he caught a glance of his fight opponent entering the building. 'b*****d,' Husky thought to himself with a nasty smile as he ambled back to the brown leather chair, 'Going to knock him out in one go.'

Menacingly Lewis walked through the brown, oak doors and walked through the lounge which had some newspapers photographers. Willingly to take pictures they snapped away but he ignored every flash . Walking into the main conference room. Shockingly he ran up towards Husky and got ready to throw a hook while Husky was sitting off guard. With quick reactions Husky moved out of the way pushing the chair over and causing a load sensational sound of cold leather touching the limestone floor.

“ Man I’m going to kill you in the ring, I’m not going to show no mercy sucker” fire was in Carters eyes when he shouted at Husky.

“got some nerve bringing your mans in here acting all big, you aren’t nothing to me ” Husky looked into Carters eyes and gave the same tormenting smile he did when he saw Carters cars coming.

“ Think you all big man, your two minutes late” Husky was known for his manipulating remarks towards other fighters. The two monsters tried to grab one each other into a glitch and fight each other in a slugger fight but repeatedly they were separated. Constantly they kept taunting each other.

The conference was one of the most disturbing in the whole of the boxing association but it did finish and the fight date was set. Both of them would fight on March 29th, at Maidson Square Garden. Many people were now looking forward to this epic fight, the two fighters were now fighting to keep their pride and determination to carry on their winning streaks.

The big fight

Exactly three long months had no gone by and both fighters had been training hard and keeping their fitness up especially. It was 26th March, with only three days left till the fight. The morning was bright and the newspaper prints were printing in the publication factories getting ready to distribute across New York. The front page had a bold heading written saying “ Carter v Husky, will Husky win like he says”.

“ I cant believe it, look what there all saying” Lewis had a copy of The New York times clutched into both of his hands. He was at home in Brooklyn, sitting in the garden. His house was more of a warehouse, he owned a 3.5 million dollar mansion with over 50.5 acres if land in his back garden. The Carter residence was the biggest in the whole of New York.

“ look at all these people look at what they say, there saying I am going to lose. What nerve do they have saying these things, well ill show them on Saturday night. It will be a fight they will never forget. So Jerry what do you recon?”. Thomas Norton his promoter was standing timidly in front of Lewis.

“Listen kid, you can say anything to the media. Stop saying things please?. You can say it politely or even threaten them guys. They aren’t going to listen these kinds of media attention get millions of views. Meaning more money for the editors. All you gotta do is prove them wrong by winning the title and bang the money they got comes in your favour”. Lewis gave a bovine look.

“ d**n is dosh all you care about well guess what I want more. I want to prove them all wrong with my fists not with my money. For all I care you can keep my money I make on the night just get the media of my back”. At this point Lewis was ready to get in the ring and prove every one who doubted him was wrong, his behaviour was pugnacious and you could tell my the derivational facial expressions on his face.

“ ok, if that’s what you want then on the night of the fight. You gotta talk total rubbish about him at the official weight in . Im gonna knock Husky out in the first round, oh im going to bury him alive, or even look at his face cause your not gonna see one like that again when im finished. that’s the things you say then in the actual fight you stay by you words and throw the jabs, the hooks the combos and win the fight with points torture him and that’s it you got the fans on your side”. Lewis showed a discourteous manner and was looking at the picture of Husky in the paper.

“ I’m not going to talk rubbish about him in the weight in, I’m going to knock him out their and then”. The both of them started laughing with humour. They opened a bottle of fine Jamaican rum and sipped their drink whilst talking about how to deal with any promoters and any reporters. They spoke about how to speak on TV, news etc without letting out to much information about future decisions they were going to make.

Both Carters and Husky were under pressure due to the fact their reputation was on the line. Who ever game out on top would become one of the greatest legends in history of boxing and would join the great warriors such as Muhammad Ali, George Foreman, Sugar Ray Lenard and Iron Mike Tyson in his prime. They were training hard in there home towns downtown Brooklyn and Philadelphia. With only three days left the trainers of the two were theorising what their tactics would be in and out of the ring. Tension was building up to the battle and patience was a problem. The two of them would often collide with one an other in talk shows and new broadcasting shows.

Lewis walked into his mansion on the way from a conference meeting one day with his promoter and trainer Jerry. The conference was held by the boxing committee warning both fighters if any more dangerous stunts of fighting on media or in public was to happen ,Husky would be stripped off his title, and Carters would not get a title shot until 2001. Exhausted and tired from the conference holder Jimmy Scott going on and on Lewis loosened his tie and top button, it was 10 pm. He walked into his bedroom and dropped onto the bed and closed his eyes trying to close the outside world.

“Hey baby” Tina Carter, walked into the room jumping onto the bed to welcome Lewis home with a big kiss on his forehead. He opened his eyes and gave a cheerful smile and both of them exchanged looks with one an other.

“ so how was the conference honey did it go well, what did they want to talk to you about?” .

“ yes, it was fine oh just the usual do this and do that nothing important” His wife was the only person who kept him going in his job, she was his only inspiration . They were married and had been for nearly 5 years and they loved each other with all there hearts could express. She was a tall black women with long metallic black hair. Her skin looked soft and her body smelled like olive herbs with a golden twist. Lewis treated her as if she was a princess and gave her anything she wanted new clothes, jewellery, gold silver he would even by her a pony if she asked. She was always supporting Lewis in his fights and anything else he did .

“ listen, ive been married to you for 3 years now and I know when your happy and when your down. Now I know your down. So don’t lie to me, something happened at the meeting and I want to know what now” she demanded to know what happened aggressively but she still had the beautiful smile on her face like when she came into the bedroom. Lewis took a deep breath and replied

“ sorry babe I didn’t mean to lie to you, ok ill tell you what happened at the meeting. They warned us both to stop causing trouble and threatened to destroy our careers and that’s it promise” it was hard for him to tell that to his wife and thinking she would shout at him down his ears he closed his eyes and encrusted them with his eye lids.

“ Husky was there as well, the stupid tramp. Baby why didn’t you tell me this I would of understood.”. he opened his eyes and she still had the beautiful golden smile on her face however she lifted her eyebrows expecting a reply.

“listen I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t want you to worry and most importantly I didn’t want that lovely smile to go away cause that’s what gets me up in the morning to train., that’s what helps me get through my fights and the last thing I would want to do is stop that”. she started to get an even bigger gorgeous smile on her face and gave him a big hug.

“ Im never going to stop caring, treasuring and especially loving you so you can tell me anything in reason and I will think of it to be an honest and true action you have done”

The both of them closed their eyes and fell into a deep warm sleep preparing for the busy day they would have to face tomorrow.

Half Eight in the morning, the morning was nice and bright and the smell of sour taste was in the air to tell people the day every one had been waiting for had come. “Beep Beep” the alarm was going off to wake Lewis up, it was the big day he and everyone else had been waiting for. 29 th March. The fight was going to start at half eight in the evening so he had all day to prepare for it and get to Manhattan, Madison Square Garden. Tina was already out of bed cooking Lewis his breakfast, 2 Brown toast, with beans and 1 poached egg, she would always keep his meals on his fight days light to ensure he was at his best in the ring and he wouldn’t add any unnecessary calories for the weigh in.

“ Lewis,” Tina yelled with a accelerating voice for Lewis to come down stairs to eat his breakfast.

“ I’ve made you your favourite energy food, toast, beans and some egg” . When he heard those words he jumped out of his bed and ran into the bath room to get changed into some comfortable clothes. Whenever he was in a lethargy mood the only thing which would get him out of it was food.. You would expect a boxer to eat healthy and train hard but for him it different he wasn’t very prudent with what he ate as long as it had some kind of protein or source of energy init.

“ dinners on the table, come on its getting cold” Tina shouted for him again, this time she said it louder letting the whole mansion know food was made from her bellowing voice.

“ yes, I’m coming wait one minute”. he got changed into some grey Nike tracksuit bottoms and a white everlast t-shirt which was stuck onto his body. The both of them met at the bottom of the stairs and exchanged a kisses.

“ listen, Lewis I’m going to work now ok so ill see you later ok”. Tina worked as a nurse at the local hospital she was a very hard worker and respected what she did and took pride in everything she did there.

She wasn’t a person who wanted job satisfaction, as long as she was helping others within the community she was satisfied. that’s what made her one of the most respected and popular wife in the media. Normally all the wives of famous celebrities or singers would be go diggers but she was different.

“ ok ill see you later Tina, by the way did anybody call for me this morning”

“ yes, Jerry said that the weigh in will be at half eight, he told me to tell you to meet him at the gym at five o clock. He also said do some stretching off for tonight and do some shadow boxing but that’s it ok”

“ok, ill see you later thanks for the food and have a nice day at work”. Tina left the house for work and Lewis sat down in the kitchen and started eating his breakfast.

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4 ANSWERS


  1. Really work on your spelling and grammar, and try to break it up a bit - people don't want to read through such big blocks of text all the time.  You may not be a pro, but no one will take you seriously if you don't take the time to, say, capitalise letters.

    Big point - a new paragraph whenever someone new starts speaking.  It's rather confusing otherwise.


  2. to be honest i did not read it all, your spelling and grammar is appalling and that makes reading what you write very very difficult.

    Try re-writing it after having improved your spelling and grammar, and put in some paragraphs eh?

  3. I didn't read all of it, because there were so many conventional errors that it was very frustrating to read.

  4. there you go again, wasting bandwidth

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