Hidden Talents or Gifted Child?

Question

My 12 year old son is constantly on the go, naughty and abusive but when time is spent with him can be very creative.

Is there any way of checking to find out if he has hidden abilities and is being held back by a lack of proper treatment at school etc?

Answer 1

I'm not sure what you mean by "naughty".  If he is doing things like...I don't know...stealing, performing acts of vandalism, etc, that is not acceptable by the age of 12. Likewise, what do you mean by "abusive?"  Does he start fights at school? Does he hit you or his sibling(s)?  Once again, at age 12 something needs to be done about his behavior. If that's the case, you should talk to him and ask why he behaves this way. If he won't talk to you, he should see a psychologist.  A psychologist can test for learning disabilities and the like, or, conversely, probably give him an IQ test or something to see if he needs to be in advanced classes. The psychologist at his school could probably do it for free.

If, instead, he's just being "naughty" by, like, taking extra cookies from the jar, then there's probably nothing to worry about.  You could always ask him about his interests and, say, enroll him in an art class and see if it helps.  

Answer 2

Assuming that you are in the UK:

At 12 he has made the transition from primary school to high school. That neither school has picked up on any specific areas of outstanding ability tells me that in all probability he hasn't any. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Creativity is good, and to be encouraged. However, by the age of 12 he should be capable of behaving in a manner appropriate to his surroundings, which includes the classroom. as much as anything else, the staff have the right to get on with their job, which is whole-class teaching, and the other students in the class have the right to be allowed to learn without being disrupted. You could try requesting that is school have him assessed by an Educational Psychologist for possible behavioural difficulties or maybe an ASD. I also suspect that you are asking the question because they've already done this and you don't like the answer.

There's no easy way that you're going to accept this answer, but at the end of the day your son's behaviour is your responsibility. Whatever your views, the staff at his school can refuse to have him in the classroom if he is continually abusive and disruptive; they have a duty of care to the whole class and the right to get on with their job. Your son should have grown out of his attention seeking by the time he was 7, so you're going to have to work hard with him now if you want to produce a socially-acceptable adult, rather than a pain in the neck nobody will want to know or employ.

Answer 3

I suppose the only thing you can do is encourage his out of school activities, if he is disruptive in class he may be being ignored because of his behaviour. Maybe talk to his teacher and him together and find out if there is a problem.

Answer 4

Well to be honest, if the school hasn't found it, you are best either changing schools, or getting him into outside of school activities!

My son is good at claymation and animation so he had lessons on a saturday! Good luck!  

Answer 5

No, your son isn't a child prodigy.

He is a spoilt brat and has been allowed to get away with this behaviour by you, It's time you took parental responsibility and put paid to this behaviour or he will grow into a nasty abusive adult.

You can carry on blaming everyone but yourself but it is you that should be sorting him out and not just passing the blame onto the school.

Thank God my kids go to a school where they don't p***y foot around with these kids, they are out if they are disruptive, no matter how gifted and talented their parents seem to think they are.

Why should other kids who want to learn have to put up with them?

Answer 6

I really don't understand why parents of disruptive, disobedient, abusive children think their child is some sort of genius.

They are not, they just need better discipline.

It is a pathetic excuse to blame the schools, blame yourself.

If he is being abusive to you it's entirely your own fault.

Answer 7

lmao, "hidden abilities". no, you're son is not being mistreated at school and you don't have some sort of special kid who can fly. maybe he's good at art, but that won't be held back at school. trust me though, a lot of kids are "very creative"

Answer 8

I am a GATE teacher (Gifted and Talented Education), and when bright kids aren't challenged, they sometimes get into trouble.  The become bored.  Then they begin to challenge authority and learn how to become manipulative, to create a challenge for themselves.  This brings negative attention to them, and they begin to regress.  It is important that he is presented with positive challenges so he can grow, and learn that being good is better than misbehaving.  It is also important to have consequences at home for negative behavior that are very consistent.  It these consequences for behavior are inconsistent, it won't work.  Parents and teachers need to be firm, and follow through with consequences, good or bad.  And I am not sure what you mean by "lack of proper treatment at school".  Are you waiting for teachers to assess him?  Please clarify...