His Ex-Wife KeepsThreatening, any way to stop this madness?

Question

Ok, this is not a case of not paying child support because we pay it every month and have proof. We pay using our bank account and the bank mails her a check. We have proof tha the last payment was sent on Aug 21. She has not received it yet, so I am assuming it may be lost in the mail. Well, she is threatening to "go down to the courthouse and have them debit it so we won't forget to pay it" and while she is at is, she is just going to have them raise it too. There is no reason for her to act like this because we always pay it. She also does not have custody of them, my husband does. He is deployed to Iraq, so he let them (2 girls) go back to live with their mother but they probably won't be coming back to live with us. As of now, she has not gone to court to have custody changed but she loves to throw threats around and I have been nothing but nice to her. She also sends all her coorespondence through their 14-yr-old daughter's email account, so the child can see all of this, which I feel is very wrong. Has anyone had a similar experience? Can anyone tell us what we should do to be prepared if she does take him back to court? How can he stop her from getting child support raised? He pays $400 for 2 children and it is not even court ordered yet, the order still says she is supposed to be paying $200 per month to him but he does it because his kids stay with her. I get $400 as well from my ex every month for 3 kids. My 3 kids live with us, can and will they be considered a shield to stop her from getting child support raised very much? Any advise will be helpful. Info: Their divorce was final in South Carolina but we live in North Carolina and they now live in Tennessee.

Answer 1

i live in california and my husband has to children with his ex they werent even married first of all.  and his ex is sick in the head she lied basically she abuses the court system it makes me sick. she lied he never paid her child support so we got stuck with a back payment plus child support.  plus for 2 children we pay 600 a month for just 2. its crazy. his ex also does what ur husband ex does also. when she doesnt get the checks for child support she freaks out and calls my husband threating him. yet we dont even deal with the checks getting sent to her. his job sends them to her.  plus shes so sick she tells her children we didnt get our money its all ur dads fault and blames everything on him.  i just dont get it why would u want ur children to resent their father.  shes so immature.  my opion the reason why his ex was able to abuse the court system is cuz she works for the police department.  so u know right there thats why she got off.  i have so many stories i could tell u.  its insane.  also since we owe her a back payment my 2 kids of our own never get their taxes i dont my husband doesnt.  how sad is that.  my own children who have nothing to do with this women.  i dont understand why women can walk into court and ruin families like this.  i've even told her myself.  she has no shame she could careless. shes living in a home up in the hills in orange county. her sons have brand new cars everything my family could never have while were stuck living with my parents.  all i can say is the courts like to see evidence of everything.  get a notebook.  write down everything ur step kids tell u.  when they cant come over cuz of her write it down and reasons why, when she threathins u write it down date and time.  it doesnt matter if all these things sound stupid but they like to see all that his ex did that and she got off easy. just cuz u have kids of ur own the courts can careless.  they see it has hes having more kids and yet hes paying child support.  just take notes of everything that way when she does take u to court u dont go in empty handed cuz they hate that.

Answer 2

The carolina's are NOTORIOUS for s******g up child support.They will either send it to her twice a month or once a month and they drag their @ doing it.Get in touch with the people who are in charge of it.The State HIRES agencies to take the child support taken out of your husbands check and they drag their feet,sometimes.Other times it may be the employer not sending it in on time.

Answer 3

Well first of all if he is paying more than he has to right now then she has no ground to stand on by bringing him to court. They wont even do anything to him for being late one time. I go through this with my husbands crazy ex wife every week. She is always taking him to court every chance she can get, the only thing your husband can do right now is file a harassment order on her in court so she cant keep taking him to court for no good reason. My husband and i are in the middle of that right now. My husbands ex wife also uses their three kids to get to my husband and she tells the kids lies and all of her business like they are her friends instead of her kids. The court will only go by his income it is the law and they cant take more than 33% of his check either. Also they go by how much your husband has to pay out in bills and stuff to and it is a law that they cant make you go broke for child support so don't worry. She is a vindictive b*tch and karma will get her so she will get what she deserves.

Just ignore her and let her act like an immature baby if she wants to just remember that you are a bigger and better person for not doing that to your ex and for not blowing up at her.

I hate being in the second wives club but welcome to it, its no fun and it until over until the kids are 18.

Answer 4

court ordered child support is so much easier, documentation by child support office, if the party who pays isn't working and not paying child support, one can go to court to reinforce the court order. you can always check online to where the child support account is with payments, that is what is in place since my divorce and it is so much nicer to do it this way

Answer 5

Because he is in Iraq, they have soldiers clause, so even if she files then all he has to do is call and say that he is in iraq and when he will be back.  Technically they can't do anything because he is fighting for our country.  Your child support money goes for your children, so they can't count that as far as I know.  I am not sure about Tennessee laws or rules about child support, just make sure you get proof of what he is paying every month to her.  Best of luck!!

Answer 6

She is not going to be able to raise the child support without a court hearing. Your husband is in the military and he has military attorneys who are generally very good.

It would be nice if the kids could live with you and your husband once he gets home from Iraq. This psycho mom shouldn't be putting her 14 y.o. child in the middle of her drama. She should be ashamed of herself.

Answer 7

Dtart to trace the check through the bank. Email her of this and keep a copy of this fact. Tell her it was sent.

From now on, send it certified mail with return receipt. She might have gotten it, lost it and wants another and is hostile. She might have gotten it and wants more. Her threats are empty. She cannot debit your account. Only a court can.

Get to your Bank from now on and make sure you send it certified with return receipt.

Otherwise, a cheaper way is to xerox the stamped envelope, the check, and also the "proof of mailing" $1.10 certificate and send it. Write a letter to ex and xerox it. Include original in the envelope. Date the letter and say The money is for which month, what time period.  Staple all Xeroxes and keep them in a safe place...She will never know you have done this, because you have all xeroxes. Do not tell her~!

If she claims she never got it, ask your Bank if they cleared the Check. if they Say they did, ignore her threats. If she takes you to court when clearly she got the Check, then go to the a lawyer anc chrage her sue her and get her jailed criminal harassment, fraud, and  extortion, based on your proof of mailing, Xeroxes, and the statement from the bank that such check cleared. She will be criminalLy guilty and maybe GO to jail.

Get her!