His dreams affect our relationship!! Help

Question

My boyfriend of three years is constantly having dreams that I'm cheating on him. In no way have I ever done this or thought about it. I am in love with him! but he has the dreams often. And when he does it can really just affect him. I mean he'll wake up and tell me "I better not ever cheat on him...or don't ever let me find out..." And he'll be upset with me, for days cause of this. I'll admit i've had dreams like this about him cheating to, but never to i get like that with him...i mean yeah they make me said, but I know there not real. What can I do to make him realize their just dreams!?? And that I love him and would never do that to him.

Answer 1

I have been on both sides of this situation.

Dreams are weird windows into our subconscious. My ex-bf once had this dream that he was going to cheat on me but couldn't do it. He told me about it and his conclusion was: "I like you so much I don't even want other girls in my dream." (cute at the time... haha)

Anyway, from your bfs point of view: I had CRAZY dreams about the same ex^ cheating on me, treating me badly, breaking up with me, and ignoring me for about a month. Basically, all the dreams came true except the cheating (at least to my immediate knowledge, but I wouldn't put it past him)

But the point of all this: Dreams often show us our greatest fears. He must love you very much then! Just talk to him about it. Sometimes we all just need that extra reassurance.  

Answer 2

I heard that when you have dreams that your partner is cheating, it means that they are actually being faithful to you! I don't know if that's true but that girl Shana Moakler said it lol.

Answer 3

Why in the world would you continue to date someone with issues like this? Are you sure that this is "love"? It doesn't sound very healthy to me.  If he can not separate DREAMS from reality, then he has some issues. And, why would you want to spend all your time reassuring an insecure man or dealing with the funky attitude that he has the next morning when he wakes up.

Maybe HE is the one cheating on YOU.....And, he is trying to turn the tables, so that he doesn't feel guilty.

Answer 4

coming from a guy who has been through it all with relationships i can tell you its one of two things. either he is guilty himself of cheating on you and cannot seem to find peace from his conscious thus taking it out on the fear of you cheating on him.i don't know him so i cannot say the circumstance of this being true or not. it could just be him worried you may like another man and his insecurities are getting to him. he should be mature enough to realize they are just dreams and he is the man you wake up to every night. explain to him how he would feel if you were getting upset over the dreams.

Answer 5

haha my bf does that occassionally too we've been together for 3 years also so maybe its just a stage in the relationship he doesnt really get mad at me he just gets upset and worried but its kinda like when i have a dream that we're fighting and i wake up and im mad at him for no reason. i would say you could just talk to him about it tell him it hurts ur feelings and really upsets you and he should know not to worry because u love him and its not fair that hes making u upset over a dream he had thats not real and would never happen.

Answer 6

He is obviously afraid of losing you.

You should try to talk to him.

Look him in the eyes and tell him,

"If you really believe that I would do

something like that, you're wrong. I have

honestly never even thought about that. I

love you so much more than you know. So I

would just like to let you know that I'm not

going anywhere unless you're with me and

I hope that your dreams won't affect your love

for me."

idk.

just trying to help.

Answer 7

Simple...tell him to get help or you are gone. Nobody should EVER be mad at anyone for something they dreamed! That's stupid! How old is this guy? Did his parents not tell him as a kid that dreams are like PRETEND...LIKE NOT REAL...LIKE YOU WAKE UP AND EVERYTHING IS OK?? It sounds like maybe he needs to get some help. Maybe he has problems confusing fantasy and reality. Does he ever get in a bad mood over a book or movie? Have you noticed him get inappropriately emotional over little stuff? If so, he may have more serious issues. For sure he sounds insecure though and probably has bigger underlying problems! Be careful and good luck!  

Answer 8

leave, then h**l get the point.

lol

Answer 9

after three years of relationship if he takes a dream to treat you like that. That mean he is finding a way to get over this relationship. You dream about something if you have a doubt or have a negative thing about it.

Answer 10

He sounds like a whacko - be careful!

Answer 11

He's obviously insecure and unsure. I think he needs to be reassured, you might wanna find a way to prove to him you won't ever hurt him like that. I don't know your relationship so I can't tell you what to DO to make him realize it, it's up to you in the end. Dreams are incredibly confusing sometimes though, at times I've thought they were so real how could they not be true? So put yourself in his shoes, and make him believe you. Good luck with everything.