His ex won't leave us alone!What should i do?

Question

My partner who i am having a baby with (i'm 7 weeks) separated from his wife 8 months ago after she told him that she is now a L*****n and was seeing another woman.When we first got together they were not on speaking terms but when she found out he was seeing me she started ringing him and inviting over to her house for dinner which he said no. Then when she found out we were having a baby she went out and got really drunk and ended up cheating on her girlfriend with another girl, so now her girlfriend has left her so she calls my partner every night crying begging him to go and see her, asking him if he still loves her . Now she has rang him and told him that she went to see a psychic and the psychic told her that i she is not a L*****n she is just confused and that she belongs with my him because they are soul mates, and she said the psychic also told her that i got pregnant deliberately to trap him. I am pregnant and extremely sensitive and emotional so am i taking this the wrong way?Should i except that they have a history and that she needs him still. He told me that they were both extremely miserable when they were together so why does she want him back?Help what should i do?

Answer 1

Unless they have kids together there is no reason for them to continue speaking to each other. She just doesn't want him to be happy unless its with her. Some women are like that, they don't want to be with their man yet they don't want him with anyone else. Completely selfish. Does it really matter if she 'says' she went to a psychic? She most likely came up with all that c**p by herself and is using someone else to try and convince your partner. He needs to get the divorce going and when its over, cut all ties with this crazy woman.  

Answer 2

My advice to you is to tell your husband he needs to get his Ex straight. You guys are going to have a child together and i'm sure you don't want you child growing up with her insanity in their life. Your husband needs to draw a clear picture for his Ex. He needs to make sure she gets the point that its over and to stop harassing him and his family. If getting a restraining order is in order do it. He should do what every it takes to protect him family.  

Answer 3

Sorry you're in this mess, and sorry for your poor baby's stress. The thing is, when you start a relationship with a guy who is still married, you kind of have to expect this. I can't imagine there's anyting that hurts a man in his masculinity more than being told that his woman prefers having s*x with another girl. So he must be pretty mixed up, and at least part of his relationship with you will be about proving his virility.  To now have the the one who dumped him weeping and begging for him to come back is pretty headty stuff. Are you worried that he actually wants to return to her? If yes, then there's not much you can do but wait and play it cool and loving. If no, then just ignore her.

Answer 4

She wants what she can't have. Talk to your bf and let him know that this is hurting you. If they don't have kids together then they shouldn't still be in contact.  

Answer 5

She wants what she cant have its human nature. If he was all alone and miserable she wouldn't give a d**n about him most likely. Try to cut this witch out of your life's. Good luck with your baby!

Answer 6

The psychic said? lol betcha that'll hold up in divorce court....

"Your Honor, I'm asking you NOT to grant my husband a divorce on the grounds a psychic said we are soul mates"....

See how silly?

Listen to your guy..he said they were miserable when they were together. Listen to what he wants. She can tell him the moon is green with purple polka-dots, it doesn't mean he will agree with her.

He needs to end the marriage officially if you two are to have a real relationship. he should file now on grounds of adultery. That will send a clear message.

Foolish of you to get so involved (pregnancy) with a man who is still married...should have waited until the judge signed the divorce decree on the dotted line...well too late now.

I suggest you and your guy have a heart to heart and come up with a game plan for this situation......I guarantee she will eventually stop when she sees it's futile...he's her back-upman, you see....sounds like someone who will stay/be with anyone as long as they aren't alone...and that is not something to establish a healthy relationship on.

Answer 7

When someone messes up a relationship, they try to justify why they did it. Although I don'tt believe a cheater is always a cheater...some people do change!...However, sometimes in life, people do cheat on their significant other, and it can destroy people’s lives when they do. Some people may choose not to forgive their partners betrayal, and this is a choice anyone is free to make, however, if the relationship has lasted a long time, there may be other complications to think about when dealing with a break up, such as children, other family members, and even the fact of do you really want to start again with someone new, when you have built up everything together, through the good and the bad. As long as you and your boyfriend know that he is commited to you and your new baby...don't let her bother you guys! She will eventually get the picture and kick rocks!!! Hope this helps!

Answer 8

I'm not going to get into all the crazy drama you explained. I'll  keep it really simple.

Your partner is the problem, not his ex. Your husband tolerates it so this is why it continues to happen, be ready for a very stressful and drama filled life with your new baby-daddy.

Answer 9

Avoid her as much as you can.Even ask your husband to stop receiving her call. Better change the number if you both can.

Sit with your husband,clear your thoughts,what he thinks of you and of her.

How you both can end relationship with her without contacting her.

if contacted she can be miserable for both of you.

Keep distance as much as you can

.

Answer 10

You need to step in and tell her to leave you guys alone. I've been in this situation before and talking to her was the best thing I did and it worked! Be very polite and a lady about it and just lay down the law. "It's over, I know this is very hard on you, but you need to accept the fact that he has moved on and you should also." If she does not comply, call your local police and see what they can do about it. This is officially harassment and should stop immediately. Call them and see what you can do to stop her from bothering you guys. Maybe you can send on of them over to her place and tell her that she needs to leave you alone. It's a calm way of going about it but it will get the point across. He is with you now, she needs to move on whether she thinks she "needs" him or not. Congratulations on the little one and I wish nothing but the best for you!  

Answer 11

Tell your partner to divorce her and marry you. If he doesn't want to do this, you need to be aware that he isn't really committed to the relationship with you. Good luck. Remember if he isn't divorced from her she thinks she can get him back.

Answer 12

First I fought you for getting pregnant with a married man.  You are an adult and should have protected yourself until....UNTIL the divorce is final.  8 mos...separated from a spouse if nothing.  If he truly wanted it to be over with her, he would have filed for a divorce.  Now if the divorce is final..from the sounds of it they don't have kids, so why the consistant contact???  Why do you all know so much about her personal life is she is the "ex"  Why care what she does?  I think he needs to decide what he wants.  I think he is still seeing her and telling her things to keep her emotionally tide, and feel sorry b/c he was not ready to start a family with you.  This is why I NEVER have s*x until I am sure he is fully committed to me.  And being married, dealing with luggage, he aint.  Good luck