His family is Jewish, mine's Christian?

Question

This guy I have recently started dating comes from England, and his family is Jewish. My family is very open-minded Christian. I'm worried that HIS family won't accept me because I'm not Jewish (I guess I'm basing this off of a stereotype because I haven't been around Jewish families?) have you ever been in a mixed-religion relationship? My boyfriend isn't a "strict" Jew, and I'm not a "strict" Christian... It's mostly his family I'm worried about... what has been your experience/relationships you've witnessed?

What if his family doesn't want us to get serious and pressures him to beak it off with me? Help.

Answer 1

To above:

Messanics are Christians.  They are not practicing ANY form of Judaism.  So it's not a "compromise".  

99% were never Jewish & their beliefs are the same as the Baptist churches that sponser them.

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To asker:

While in non-religious families, you're more likely to get acceptance...can I make a big suggestion here.  Start talking to each other about what this means & how your are going to raise a family.  It's very painful to get into a relationship & then find out you aren't compatiable in basic values ways.  It's even worse for the kids if you do it after the marriage.

If his family has concerns it's because they know these are issues & questions that need to be discussed.  I find Christians often have no idea how different Judaism is, or how much it's a part of life.  So they tend to not realize there's an issue here.

I'm Reform & my family would accept whoever I bring home -- as long as I'm happy & I don't compromise my wants without thinking about it.  It would be terribly awkward to have something not practiicing as part of our family.  Bottomline.  We do have a mixed marriage in our family, but he agreed to a Jewish wedding, a jewish household, & to practice Judaism.  He just didn't formally convert (for personal reasons).

However, bottomline is start talking to your boyfriend about these questions.

Answer 2

Most orthodox Jewish families will not accept a Christian unless they convert to Judaism.  If his family won't accept you, why would you want to cause discontent?  You'll have to ask him how he feels about it and what his family will think about it.  If he isn't orthodox (strict), that doesn't mean his family isn't.  Most Jewish boys (or girls) will not go against their parents wishes.  He should know what they expect of him.  Either you'll have to convert or he will be disowned by his parents if he decides to go against their wishes.  I wouldn't get further involved in a relationship with him until you find out how his parents will react.  They may not be orthodox.  You should find out.  It will save a lot of heartaches down the road.

Answer 3

You have recently started dating him, and you are thinking of breaking it off because you are concerned about how his parents might react...

mkay.

Once you decide that you are dating a man, not his parents, you will respect a man who can make his own decisions despite his parents.  Until you can do that, you probably shouldn't be dating.

Answer 4

Honestly, it depends on how religious his family is.  If they are reform Jews, they'll probably be fine with it.  If they are more orthodox it might be a problem.  The thing is, that Jewish people are generally in a minority and your boyfriend knows that you are not Jewish.  If it was a big deal for him to date a non-Jew, you'd already know.  He'd know already and he would be able to judge his own decisions that way.

My best friend growing up was Jewish.  When she was a teenager, her parents always tried to set her up with "nice Jewish boys"  it didn't work out.  Mainly because it was so obviously a set up.  She married a buddist in a Reform Jewish ceremony when she was 25.  Her parents were thrilled.  He has not converted and probably never will.  It's still all good.

Answer 5

maybe you should do some research in messianic judaism... that can help you with his family... then again it can drastically backfire and make them hate you even more... (but if you do you will more than likely at least see what the early Church was like) also i wont say a relationship wont work between 2 people of different faiths, but at the same time it can cause some problems...

Answer 6

mom: christian dad: atheist

friends mom: catholic friends dad: lutheran

mixed religion works if there's love :)

Answer 7

Don't bog your mind in such thoughts.

Keep right out of such nonsense.

Answer 8

Totally depends on the family.  You are right to be cautious.

Answer 9

There's an entirely different, yet relevant, aspect to this.  If he's a religious Jew, he's not allowed to enter a Church, and on the flip-side, no religious Rabbi would perform a Christian-Jewish wedding, so there's the technical aspect of how you would actually get married.

This is in all branches of Judaism ('Messianic Jews' are considered by all Jews to be a Christian denomination, and 'Reform' Jews are only considered Jewish if descended from a Jewish matrilineal line) however that doesn't mean an irreligious Jew might not breach such aspects of Judaism.  

If his family is religious, they may openly disown him if he marries you - along with the rest of the Jewish community.  Additionally, if *he's* religious, he would never marry you in the first place. It really all comes down to if he/his family is religious of not.

A question you should ask yourself is even if he's ok with being shunned by everyone he grew up with, even his family, are you ok with letting him do that for you?  Another thing you should know is that your children would not be Jewish, so if that's important to him, even if Judaism as a whole might not be, it may play a substantial part in his decision.  'Half-Jews' only exist in secular culture, in Judaism someone either is or isn't Jewish.

Answer 10

Don't worry. Religion should not matter in relationships. You know, unless you are a bigot.

Answer 11

as long as you two love each other, you will be fine. Don't borrow worry.

Answer 12

I think it is more important what you and he think about your religions and what changes or compromises you are willing to make with each other.