His money is her money and her money is her money?

Question

Still trying to figure this one out. Probally the scariest thing inregards to marriage. Most women tend to view there parterns money as theirs, and also ferociously view there money as there own.

My first question is ? I have a hard time understanding how a person could think like that..

Second question.. How do you spot those kind's of women?(there not really gold diggers so harder to figure out)

Answer 1

Now look.  Let's start with the scenario that they  begin as a one income family.  On a shoestring, they struggle along, making ends meet, but there is never enough for anything else. ( Hairdresser, decent clothes, decent car, upgrades for the house, kids, lifestyle).

So, she begins, say, a catering business.  Her crab cakes and lemon souffle are supreme, and she is an overnight success.

She needs a better car, better kitchen, puts the kids in private school, and her husband gripes because she does not throw all her earnings into the pot so he can have more Vegas weekends with the guys from the office.

His arguements are bogus.

My question is, how does a WOMAN spot some cheapa$$ who expects to have everything he makes, plus everything SHE makes?

Answer 2

Balance is everything.  Maybe she just sees it as their money needs to be combined and he happens to make more.  I have always found that saying quite humorous.  Men were made to do heavy labor..woman were made to go into labor.  That is just how God made us. Not saying that times have not changed since then.  I am a woman and I support the household.  I clean and I cook.  His money is his money...but in a pinch..I will use it too.

Answer 3

presents presents presents

Answer 4

No evidence for this allegation.

Answer 5

I find the Yours, Mine and Ours method works well with respect to financial matters. That way each partner contributes to running the household, and each partner has their own "play money."

What you are describing is a form of backlash against the old practice of the man controlling all the money - there was a time when men did not reveal to their wives how much they earned.  They paid the bills, gave the wife grocery money & maybe a little pocket money, and then spent as they pleased.  Some of these men were responsible and saved/invested wisely, and some squandered every penny not needed to pay bills, leaving thier wives and children with no security in the event of a tragic accident.

Answer 6

They might tend to be very liberal minded?  I'm 47 and feel sorry for the younger generation of men.  So many (according to a woman I know) guys are getting divorced within the first year or so.

Answer 7

"Most women" feel this way?  Prove it.  Oh right, you have no proof because it's not true.  

Stop perpetrating false stereotypes.

Answer 8

It was just the opposite in my marriage. My husband told me how and where and when I could spend the money I earned. I never knew how much he earned when he worked or how much he had. It is not like that with my second husband. We share every thing equally.

Answer 9

Best way to figure that out is to ask her for a copy of her debit card.  I had no problem giving mine to my boyfriend..and now he is my husband.  What's mine is his and what's his is ours.

Answer 10

and my money is my money..and as long as noo one touches my money...

i dont care about what anyone does with thier money...

Answer 11

I guess they are just insecure and greedy. They have their share of hubby's money but also their own funds to fall back on if the common pot doesn't have enough spending potential.

Do you have a link to the Dear Abby column? I'd like to see how she justifies this.

Answer 12

That is one of those double standards that feminists have to destroy. A man is taught not to receive money from a woman even if she is his wife and they're sharing household expenses. A woman is expected to be frail and take her husband's money. It should be seen as THEIR money since both are married and working for the support of the house.

Answer 13

This situation probably shows up most with stay at home mothers. Because they decided to be a stay at home mother, they are forgoing their own income, thus the father becomes the only provider. However, being a stay at home mother is still a full time job, only you don't get vacation, weekends off or sick leave. The only difference is that she is not being paid in money. It takes a lot of work to raise children, she is not lounging around the house all day long.

When she takes on a job, in addition to raising the kids, it is in a sense like she is working overtime. In other words, she is working more than her husband and deserves that extra bit of cash.

A mother who chooses to stay at home is not being "gifted" the income her husband provides, she is being paid. What she does by raising her children is equally worth th amount of income the husband brings in. What she does on the side is extra and should be treated as such.

Answer 14

I  feel  inclined  to  say  the  "My  money  is  my  money   and  his  money  is  my  money ."  can't  work,  but  there  ARE  times  where  it  does .  If  a  woman  is  a  housewife,  and  her  husband  is  a  good  sport,  then  it's  okay . I  used  to  wonder  if  EVERY  woman  wanted  the  "His  money  is  my  money"  rule  in  their  marriage .  I  can  see  where  a  woman  might  want  a  little  extra  money  every  so  often,  but  most  men  want  to  be  in  charge  and  control  the  money,  so  that's  where  "His  money  is  my  money"  can't  work .  Any  woman  I  marry  has  to  work  and  make  her  own  money,  and  leave  my  money  alone .  There's  just  too  much  I  have  to  do  with  my  money .  I  think  "My  money  is  my  money   and  his  money  is  my  money ."  is  sexist .  If  I  was  planning  to  get  married,  I'd  have  to  sit  down  with  my  girlfriend  and  tell  her  "We  need  a  rule  where  your  money  is  your  money,  my  money  is  my  money,  and  we  leave  each  other's  money  alone ." .  Money  is  too  much  of  an  emotionally  charged  subject,  and  if  a  man  AND  his  wife  makes  plans  for  his  money,  they're  asking  for  trouble .