His s*x drive is higher than mine! How do I level the playing field?

Question

I don't consider myself stressed. We do have a puppy so that prevents some of it. Alot of times I'm just not in the mood. I feel so cliche saying that but it's true. I am on birth control so that might contribute to the low s*x drive. I don't know though. I want to make him happy but it seems there's only a very small window when I (really ;-) ) want to. Then before we know it that "window" is closed. Sorry for the rambling. any suggestions?

Answer 1

Birth control generally stuffs up more than just s*x drive, it can also s***w with your sence of smell which is a method of arousal for many women at certain times of month.

Of course if your timing is all screwy then options are slim.

Answer 2

Well it could be the birth control you could try another type. You can also help him out when your not in the mood. You dont have to do this all the time but he will really like it if you "help" him out when he is in the mood.  

Answer 3

A puppy is negatively impacting your s*x life?  Oh dear, wait until you have kids.  There is nothing abnormal about one person having a lower s*x drive than the other.  Maybe you need to ask yourself what makes you want s*x, and then talk to him about how he can help create the conditions that "open the window" for you.  I know if my wife told me "Doing the dishes really makes me hot" I'd be more inclined to do the dishes...as long as it really did make her hot.  So first, discover what conditions makes you feel like you want s*x, then talk to him about how he can help make it happen.

Answer 4

What does *really wanting to* have to do with it? ;)

You could level the playing field by making him work for it, not just being available because he wants to...  

Answer 5

AD, you level the playing field by being more aggressive in making love.  You want him to always come to you.  Some women don't want to do that but then worry about their man not being happy.  If you want to do something you never had, you have to do something you never done.

Answer 6

My hubby also has a s*x drive that just does not quit.  While I can manage to keep up most of the time, there are days when I turn him down.  There is a big difference between "not in the mood" and just not wanting s*x.  If your dealing with just not being in the mood, learn how to get yourself there and then teach him how to do it.

Answer 7

He should be making you happy sexually...i rarely have seen a women who does not enjoy when her man goes downstairs...and plays around until the lights turn on...He should...Take Care

Answer 8

Dress up as Anne Widdecombe.

Answer 9

Just do it, even if you don't feel like it....just once.  Then come back and tell us if you enjoyed it or not.  Chances are you will have just as much fun as if you were in the mood before.

I had the same problem after being on the same birth control for several years.  I switched to a different on and things have been great.  Birth control can effect things, usually in a negative way.....I wonder if they have factored the lower s*x drive into their effectiveness statistics....

As for the puppy.  Get it a kennel to sleep in.  Dogs are like us, they want their own little space.  My husband and I have two dogs.  Since we have no children they get treated like children.  They each have their own crate in our room and sleep in them at night.  Sometimes we let them sleep with us, but they often go sleep in their crate one their own during the night.  It will be hard at first, the puppy will whine.  But it wil soon learn to like its own little space.

Answer 10

Outside of stress / busy schedule (ie tired), birth control pills (as you noted), possible hormone levels (testosterone)  & self esteem can also cause low libido (or no libido which to speak of). Beyond that, it may be that your husband isn't putting in the work to keep the fire lit (ie romance etc.).