History/english help?

Question

i am writting an editorial about Industrial Revolution...i have to pretend that i am writting in 1700-1800 newspaper. I choose the nagative site of it...can u plz cheak my intro.

The industrial revolution is a step toward the new inventions and productions of good faster then before. It has begun with an agricultural revolution. Industrialization brought many changes to the British people. More and more people are moving to cities from the countryside. In the Industrial Revolution people make most of their goods with machines. However, its negative effects are higher then positive. People working conditions, child labor, and urbanization are in distress during the Industrial Revolution.

Answer 1

Try the verbiage below, and always spellcheck.

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The industrial revolution is a step toward INVENTING AND MANUFACTURING MORE QUICKLY. It has begun with an agricultural revolution. Industrialization brought many changes to the British people. PEOPLE ARE INCREASINGLY MIGRATING FROM RURAL TO URVAN AREAS. In the Industrial Revolution people make most of their goods with machines. However, its negative effects CAN EXCEED ITS BENEFITS. WORKING conditions, child labor, and urbanization are in distress during the Industrial Revolution.

Answer 2

It doesnt sound like something from a newspaper. It sounds more like a book report. You could had an "interview" with make believe people to help support the facts of the article. Make sure you stay away from using past tense in sentences.

You could also add something to catch people attention and to make it fun. Check out your local newspaper articles for examples.

Answer 3

Emphasise how these negative effects MAY affect the 1700-1800 century, that's if you're writing it at the present time.

Talk about Child labour, and suggest how the smoke (pollution) could affect the earth. Stuff like that.

Answer 4

Here are the corrections needed:

The Industrial Revolution was a step toward new inventions and production of goods in an expeditious fashion.  It had begun with   the Agricultural Revolution.  Industrialization brought many changes to the British Empire.  

More and more people moved from the countryside to the major cities where goods were being made with newly developed machines.  There were more negatives effects than positive as records later indicated:  Poor working conditions, child labor and urbanization were rampant during the nascent stages of the Industrial Revolution.