Hm mariage one-liners?

Question

i need some wedding one liners for the back of the place cards with peoples names on them, i have a few but would like more..anyone know any? or a good website?

Answer 1

hm?  You mean honeymoon one liners?  Need to be a bit more specific if you want some good replies.

Answer 2

www.tensionnot.com/jokes/wedding

www.unwind.com/16799

www.wocka.com

Actually just google marriage one liners..Lots and lots there

Answer 3

www.wocka.com

http://www.kanaccasbridal.com/shopdispla...

Answer 4

sorry...

but i myself m getting married soon...

so evn i'm searching for the same...

thnx for such a questn...!

Answer 5

Hi there I am helping my little sister with her wedding so I will share all I was able to come up with for one liners.  I am not going to give you like 10 sites you could just google if you wanted to, you asked for our help so here is my list of one lines and funny wedding related stuff.  I really hope this helps you out and good luck with everything.  Congrats to you!!!!

My favorites 1st of course.  The unlclean ones might not be appropriate for your cards, but my sister is 26 and mostly people 18-30 will be at hers so I hope I do not offend you.

Propose this toast:

John, you are a lucky groom; you've got Mary. She's beautiful, smart, funny,

warm, and loving.

Mary, you've got....John.

A husband expects his wife to be perfect...and to understand why he's not.

A great definition:

Spouse: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place.

Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without.  

A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

A husband should never question his wife's judgement. Look whom she married!

Here's a toast to the newlyweds! I hope the only ups and downs you two have are between the sheets.

From the football team -

We found he was useless in any position, hope you have more luck.

I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.

                      We all Lie About s*x

"It really is bigger than I thought it would be"

"It is not the size of the worm it is the way you wiggle him"

"I'm on the pill"

"I love giving head, really"

"I only have eyes for you"

"My head can't erase you"

"All I ever wanted out of life was my own house & someone I love to live with me"

"Don't worry. I've had a vasectomy/hysterectomy."

"I won't come in your mouth, I promise."

"I'm not really married."

"It's only a cold sore."

"Looks aren't important to me. I like you for your personality."

"Size isn't important."

"This won't hurt, I promise."

"We don't have to go all the way, we'll just lie here and hold each other."

"We'll always be together."

"I didn't know men got blue balls"

          Murphy's Laws On Love and s*x

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

All the good ones are taken.

Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant

Do it only with the best.

Don't do it if you can't keep it up.

Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

If the person isn't taken, there's a reason (corollary to the above law)

If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

It is always the wrong time of month.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Love comes in spurts.

Love is a hole in the heart.

Love is a matter of chemistry, s*x is a matter of physics.

Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

Never argue with a women when she's tired, or rested.

Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

Never say no.

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

Nice guys finish last.

No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

No s*x with anyone in the same office.

Nothing improves with age.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

s*x appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

s*x discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

s*x has no calories.

s*x is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

s*x is dirty only if it's done right.

s*x is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

s*x is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

s*x is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

s*x takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sow your wild oats on Saturday night; then on Sunday, pray for crop failure.

The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.

The best things in the world are free - and worth every penny of it.

The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

The younger the better.

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

There is no remedy for s*x but more s*x.

There may be some things better than s*x, and some things worse than s*x. But there is nothing exactly like it.

Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless in the mood.

Virginity can be cured.

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him, and vice versa...

When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

and Murphy's number one law on love and s*x: Don't **** with Mrs. Murphy!!!!

Marriage has driven more than one man to s*x.

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Marriage is a ceremony that turns your dreamboat into a barge.

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Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

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Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.

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Marriage is a rest period between romances.

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Marriage is a trip between Niagra Falls and Reno.

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Marriage is mind over matter; if the husband doesn't mind, it doesn't matter.

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Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

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Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.

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Marriage is the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

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Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

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Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...

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Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

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Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

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Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

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Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

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Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.

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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

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In marriage, the bridge gets a shower; but for the groom, it's curtains!

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In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage

Answer 6

If not for marriage, a man may have gone his whole life without anyone telling him what he was doing wrong.

John married Mary because he is a perfectionist, Mary married John because she is not

Men should always have the last word in an argument.  Those words should be yes, dear.

A woman always has the last word in an argument.  If the man says anything after that, it is the beginning of a new argument.

When arguing, dont remind your spouse of til death do you part, it will only tempt them.

woman said " I have been married to the same man for 30 years!  "   Her friend replied" 30 years?  Then he is not the same man"