Hmm, threesomes and boyfriend trouble?

Question

ok so I liked my housemate ( a girl) and my boyfriend knew about it. we both kinda fantasized about her joining us. Thing is she moved back to her home country so...yeah nothing happened. he told her i like her and we found out she kinda liked me too. so now he's asking me if i like any other girls, which at the moment I don't. and im not keen on sharing him anyways. so what should I do? and why is he obsessing?

Answer 1

You cant dangle a huge carrot like that in front of a dude and then jerk it away.

Answer 2

thats funny cuz i have the opposite problem. i want to have someone added in the picture once, just to try it.

and he absolutely does not want it. he is not keen on sharing me at all whether its a woman or man doesnt matter.

so to everyone that say it EVERY mans fantasy..your wrong, its most men's fantasy. jsut had to put that out there. and dont come at me saying all this sht about "oh he just doesnt want u to think this or that" no he does not like the idea. ive known him for a longlong time, long before we got together we were best friends and he has always been like that about more that 2 ppl have s*x at once. just had to make that clear.

but..yea if you dont want to you probably shudnt you dont want more drama to come along wit it. you know like, him wanting to do it again and again afterwards. and you not liking the experience. ya dig what am sayin?  

Answer 3

Most men do like to think of 2 girls, to hot s**y girls, that they can watch and participate with.  

Answer 4

well lisa,sounds to me you just aren't enough for him (don't do it for him) and this is his sly way out.think about it,if it's so important to him that you guys get a second girl,it's pretty much just common sense that you just aren't enough.why don't you turn the tables on him (just kidding of course but don't tell him that)and suggest a second guy and see his reaction on that,and that's a good way to really see how selfish he really is.good luck and I hope every thing works out to your benefit!

Answer 5

Lisa- I think I know exactly how you feel. I was in a similar situation once. Unfortunately, when I told the guy that I'm very picky about the kind of girl I like, I swear he ignores that part. It's been his obsession ever since. A lot of times he'd point a girl out to me and ask me what I think.

Your sexual preference is your decision and that's just something us ladies have to stick to. Just let him know that if you see a girl you like, you'll tell him about it. Let him know how you feel about it (if you're more into men than women) Hopefully he won't be too pushy after that.

EDIT: Just so you know- once you do let him in on a threesome or two, he'll keep wanting more.

Answer 6

Well you sparked his interest.This is not something that you may want to do though.If you feel the need to, tell him you want to check things out on your own.Keep his fantasy as just that.If you want to be careful.Jealousy and the thought of him touching another girl and watching him do it may not be for you.Talk to him and tell him what you feel so you can lay your cards on the table.  

Answer 7

Talk to him. Tell him what you feel and ask him questions. He's only obsessed about it because he wants to have the boys' American dream. If he almost becomes too persistant then leave him and find someone else more understanding.

Answer 8

because ever since the beginning of time, man has wanted to have sexual experiences with lots of woman. On the other hand, woman has wanted sexual experiences with only one man. As Tim Allen has put it, "That's why they call them the opposite s*x. We want s*x, and they want the opposite."

Answer 9

Just tell him it makes  you uncomfortable.  If it doesn't stop his comments be a bit more stren about it.

Answer 10

I find it amusing that you have no second thoughts about having s*x with another partner but don't want to "share" your boyfriend. He is either obsessing because he wants his fantasies of a threesome to come true, or he is upset that you think so little of him that you will go cheat on him - maybe it didn't happen this time but will in the future, and is making him insecure about his standing with you. It's not easy finding a partner that doesn't mind you going off and being involved with someone else. It's  cheating because you are taking yourself away from that person that cares about you and that is involved with you. I wish you the best of luck, it is a complicated situation and you don't sound mature about it or like you are looking at the whole picture. One of my friends is bisexual and this problem comes up with their relationships constantly. Someone always ends up jealous. I have given them the same advice and it seems to be working for them. Either stay with one person and be true to them or be upfront from the get -go and tell them you are bi and want to have an open relationship - which by the way, means the other person gets to go off with whomever they want as well. Can you handle that ?? if not, don't expect them to handle you doing the same to them.  

Answer 11

you said you both fantasized about a threesome ... you got him all excited about the idea and now he can't ... and why is he obsessing? because hes a guy!

Answer 12

don't have a threesome if its you , your boyfriend,and the girl.. its gonna cause even more problems,.. he just wants to be with another person... dont give in!

Answer 13

cause its almost every guys fantasy to have a threesome with 2 girls  

Answer 14

what I would do is stay with the guy because you'll be made fun of all your life for being g*y / bi. I don't diss on g**s but I know others do. sorry so straight is the way to go. Then you can get your boyfriend "straight" if you know what I mean ;)

Answer 15

Just do it if you wanted to do it anyways. He's a guy, of course hes obsesing about it.

Answer 16

He's obsessing because that's just what guys do. For some reason guys really like the idea of threesomes (if one girl is good, then two is theoretically better).

I would tell him that you don't really find yourself interested in any girls right now. I would also tell him that you're not absolutely sure about involving someone else in your relationship.

I was in a sort of similar situation, in that one of my close friends suddenly announced that she wanted to join in with my boyfriend and I. I am bisexual, but I wasn't super interested in her. Because both my friend and my boyfriend were very interested, and because I've never really gotten to have a relationship with a girl and wanted to try it, I agreed to try it out. She spent several weekends at our house, and we had one threesome. All of that was great, but eventually I started being really annoyed about the two of them doing anything, so it didn't end well.

I would suggest that if you do get interested in actually trying this out, that you stay away from girls that you and your boyfriend see often, in case it doesn't go well. It's definitely worth a shot if you're interested, but it can sure get complicated!

Answer 17

By mentioning that you kind of liked your female housemate and she like you too to your boyfriend you opened a Pandora's Box. Now the idea of having a fmf (2 women 1 man) threesome is of interest to him and he is trying to understand where your limits exist.

My recommendation would be talk to him in unequivocal terms about this situation and where your limits exist. If you are a bit 'wishy-washy' or unclear as to where your limits lie he will continue to push them.  

Answer 18

/ My best guess is that he doesn't want to share you, either.

He wants to make sure you will just want him, and not fool around with anyone else, fantasize about anyone else, or leave him for anyone else.

A guy who fantasizes about 2 girls, doesn't really want one of them to be his g/f, because it is only a fantasy.

He is insecure because of this situation, and needs to hear it from your own lips that he is the only one for you, and you weren't really interested in the other girl - other than having fun to make him happy.

Guys are not mature emotionally until they get much older.  Sorry for this answer, guys but you know it's true.

Answer 19

Just have a Threesome!

Answer 20

Uh oh, you opened the door to a threesome and now he's never gonna stop trying to talk you into it with another girl.  You are gonna hear about this for the rest of your relationship.

Answer 21

you should not do it if you don't want to.  why is he obsessing???? because every man wants 2 women and you gave him the impression you are into it so you can't really blame him.

Answer 22

oh yea! threesomes, now were talking!

Answer 23

cuz if ur lezbo why would he want to date u

Answer 24

Many guys fantasize about s*x with multiple women at the same time. Very hot! So that's why he wants to know.

It's nothing to be worried about, don't be too shy to share with him.

Answer 25

He's obsessing because you told him you like another girl and any possibility of a threesome will drive a man wild.

You opened Pandora's box.

Answer 26

because every guy fantasizes about a tree way with two girls, but it only works if it's with two girls you have no emotional investment in, trust me we loose a lot of respect for you when it's over, he'll tell you he wont... but it's a lie, i can't explain it it just happens