Home-schooling an adopted child - father is a teacher - any advice? Christian point of view important.?

Question

I am really keen to homeschool both my children. My daughter is 3 and my son is 1 but I am trying to research as much as possible now before we start. I have a problem in that their father is will be graduating as a teacher the year my daughter begins school. Our daughter is adopted from Ethiopia and our son is biological.

I originally considered h'schooling because I know that boys benefit more from beginning formal schooling when they are a little older. After some research, I now want to homeschool both to help provide strong moral (Christian) grounding for both children.

My husband's family are very anti-homeschooling giving the reason that although the children might be ahead academically, they miss out socially. What has other people's experiences been.

I was unsure as to whether to post on adoption forum, but hoping to get some advice from parents who have adopted and are homeschooling on this forum.

Is h/schooling the wrong decision because of my husband's career choice?

Answer 1

It's not the wrong choice at all.  Many teachers homeschool their children.

If your husband's family is against it, they need to learn to deal.  They are not the childrens' parents - you and your husband are - and while they should be welcome to voice opinions (once or twice) and give advice, the choice is ultimately up to you and your husband.  

Most likely, they don't know the facts about homeschooling, only the stereotypes.  My parents are public school teachers, and while they don't necessarily support homeschooling (they're actually very much against it), they have come to admit that there are circumstances that definitely warrant it.  Although they don't really like it, they do now admit that my son is benefitted by it.  I don't expect them to be excited about it, but I do expect them to be respectful and to abide by my and my husband's choices - which they do.

If your husband's against it, that's something that you and he have to come to terms with.  I didn't get the feeling that he's against it, more that his family is, but I may have misunderstood.  If he needs more info on it, you may want to find and read/supply for him some of the following books:

http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Hom...

http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Hom...

http://www.amazon.com/First-Year-Homesch...

http://www.amazon.com/100-Top-Picks-Home...

http://www.amazon.com/100-Top-Picks-Home...

http://www.amazon.com/Prides-Complete-Ge...

You can buy them of course, but they are all at my library - you might want to check first :-)

Socially, homeschooled kids don't suffer at all...at least the several hundred that I know in our group don't.  The only way a child can suffer socially while homeschooling is if the parents conciously try to keep them away from other kids - which they don't.

Hope that helps!

Answer 2

I know a few families that home school where one of the parents work as a teacher and they do just fine.

Answer 3

do you expect your children to grow up and interact with "gentiles"?  or to stay insulated their whole lives?

Christians are charged with being wise as serpents and gentle as doves.  you must teach them to live among others who do not share their faith, and see the good in all people, as Jesus did.  otherwise the shock may overwhelm them later in life. Isolating them will teach them to fear those who are different.

in addition, you seem to be setting yourself up in conflict with your husband, which cannot help but weaken your family ties.  it seems to me that you need to seek some middle way, especially since he is in the teaching profession.  it might seem to be a slap in the face to him; a failure to value what is a central part of his life.

HH

Answer 4

First the family has NO say! You have coustody of your daughter and therefore is yours to raise as you see fit as long as there is no abuse. What they say about not being socalized just shows that they are uneducated when it comes to home school. There are home school groups and co-ops they go on field trips and picnics. They're are plenty of opportunities to socalize. You can let her go to church groups and summer camps again plenty of time to socalize.

Your husband being a teacher can only enhanse your home school. After all he has the education to back it up. It doesn't make you a hypocrit or something because you home school and he teaches in a public school. You know that in public schools God's name is likend to cursing and his morals ar forbidden so raising your kids in a home school where they can get a Godly education is important for you as you have stated. .

Answer 5

The fact that one of your children is adopted should have no bearing whatsoever on your homeschooling decision.  You adopted your daughter, because you wanted and loved her.  You and your husband are the parents.

If you and your husband decide that homeschooling is the right decision for your family, that is what matters.  Be kind to your anti-homeschooling in laws, but know that you and your husband must decide what is best for you and your family.  There are better ways to "socialize" a child than school, i.e., Sunday school, church activities, community activities, music ensemble classes, girl scouts, boy scouts, etc.

The fact that your husband will be graduating as a teacher the year your daughter becomes school age may very well enhance your homeschooling experience.  If he is not opposed to your homeschooling, God bless you, him, and your children in your homeschooling endeavor.  If he is opposed to homeschooling, ask him why and pray about it.  If he is still against the homeschooling decision, it is best not to do it without his agreement.  A good Christian school may be an alternative to homeschooling.

Answer 6

My husband has a Masters in Education, was a counselor for 20+ years, and teaches at a local University; his choice in employment has never been an issue in our personal family decisions.

You'd be surprised; we have many home school parents who are teachers themselves, it is not uncommon at all.

We are Christians, and that was definitively a factor in choosing to home school, but most of all its about being able to be a family.

The parental right to direct the upbringing, and education of the children should be first, and foremost.

We choose the content of the materials, set the criteria, and requirements, the time place, and decide on the method according to the children's individual strengths and interests.

Extended family can however be a either a positive, or  negative influence on this.

Do not allow this to influence your decision of what is best for your children.

It is hard for people who are steeped in the ways of traditional schooling to even be open, and consider that there are many other alternatives available.

It is easier to just be opposed instead of educating themselves on the subject.

Your children surely will not miss out socially unless you, and your husband decide not to involve them in anything.

If I would have to list all the clubs, and activities our children are involved in presently, or in the past the only question you would probably have is, "are you  ever home"?

My suggestion, after home schooling for many years; having children from pre-teen to late twenties, as well as grand children would be for you to contact your state, or local home school associations  and get to know some of the families in their support circle.

You can  attend the meetings, and activities; see what is offered so you can make a more informed decision if home schooling is for your family.

The other suggestion would be to attend a state home school convention, either in your own, or a neighboring state.

The conventions offer lots of workshops, and speakers on varied topics from parenting to home schooling.

These workshops can be very informative for new families, and is often a yearly meeting place for veteran home schoolers.

Vendors come to present their curriculum's, and this can provide you with a sneak preview of what is available for you to use.

There are also many different methods of home schooling, and we use the relaxed, or unschooling approach which is way out side the box even for many veteran home school families.

Some will say that being Christians, and unschooling does not mix, I disagree it works great.

We learn in the way God intended it to be; according to His word.

I will include some web sites for you and your husband to explore if you are interested in getting some more information about home schooling.

We use Christian Liberty Press as our foundation , but are very eclectic in our approach, and the material we use.

http://ebiz.netopia.com/clpress/

Here is a link to all the web sites we post for others regulary they may be of some use in the future, if you decide to home school, or not.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Blessings, and good luck.

http://www.hslda.org/

http://www.nheri.org/

http://www.americanhomeschoolassociation...

http://www.homeschooloasis.com/main_lobb...

http://www.exploringhomeschooling.com/

Christian unschooling.

http://www.home-educate.com/unschooling/...

http://www.unschooling.com/

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/

http://www.youcanhomeschool.org/starther...

http://www.fee.org/publications/the-free...

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HEM-NewHom...

http://www.livefreelearnfree.net/index.h...

http://www.rethinkingschools.org/

Answer 7

I know of a few Christian families who homeschool their adopted children and they do fine.  Thank you very much.  The child is your child of the heart, just as your child is the child of your body-it doesn't matter.   I also know many Christian families who homeschool their own children when a parent is a teacher.  That is a personal choice and should have nothing to do with your husbands choice of occupation.   The decision to homeschool has to be made by you and your husband-not all the busy-body relatives.  And unless you are planning on keeping them locked in the cellar for their whole school life don't worry about socialization.  I assume you go to church, there are also homeschool support groups, (find one in your area now) sport groups, clubs etc.  And you know, there are probably kids in your local park too.  I think you will find out that the majority of the homeschooled kids are well-rounded, highly functional individuals.

Answer 8

did you tell the adoption agency you were thinking of doing this to that baby?

Answer 9

I would say to (HS) YOUR CHILD . with all the things that are in the world . kids coming home and saying things that you no weren't said in the home , changes in the child's mood . Home schoolers mature  faster and can finsh school alot faster that other . and when you teach them from the bible they get more than just a morning bible study they get a class .

Answer 10

Its not wrong.  Many public school teachers homeschool their own children.  Homeschooled kids usually get plenty of social interaction, considering that your daughter might have some language barriers (I don't know for sure), you would need to really make sure she gets the social interaction.  Join homeschool co-ops, have her join Girl Scouts when she is old enough, attend Sunday school with her.

I think homeschooling would be wonderful for you and your children except for one thing, since your husband is against it, it may cause trouble in your family.  The best gift two parents can give their children is a healthy marriage between the parents.  If you are going to pursue this then I suggest you do a lot of research and share your findings with your husband, then only move forward if he agrees. (Before anyone jumps on me for "taking the mans side" I would say the same thing if the husband wanted to homeschool and the wife didn't)

If he won't agree to homeschooling perhaps you should look into private school.

Hal H.  You speak of things you do not know.  My children are homeschooled, we use a Christian curriculum, but they still have friends who are not Christian.  Do you suppose everyone at Scout meetings is Christian?  Do you think that Boys and Girls clubs consist of only Christian kids?  Do you think the entire neighborhood we live in is Christian?  There is nothing wrong with raising your children to know the Word of God, you can still teach them to love others, WHILE praying for their salvation if they are unsaved.

darcymc  when you adopt a child they become as much yours as you biological children, you do not need to check with the adoption agency before making parenting decisions.  Also, your tone implies that homeschooling is wrong, and it is not.  It is legal and it is a superior method of education, just check the statistics on Homeschooler's SAT scores and college success.

EDIT:

I answered this question very late last night when I should have sleeping, and I could have sworn I read that your husband AND his family were against it.  Now after reading some other  answers I have gone back and re-read the question.  I see you only said his family was against it.  In that case, if both of you are for it then go for it.  The in-laws will just have to deal with it.

Answer 11

I think homeschooling is fine, especially if you are a Christian. If you are active in your church then your kids will get to be around all kinds of social activities. At my church, the kids have their own church services while we adults have ours, and it's broken down by age. If you aren't active in your church or elsewhere, then they may miss out. If you are looking for a home church to attend that has all kinds of serving oppotunities and is perfect for homeshoolers, check out http://www.willowcreek.com/wca_info/find... and find one in your area. Hope that helps!

Answer 12

Absolutely not.  I adopted my daughter out of foster care a year ago as a single parent and I fully intend to homeschool (she's four now). I'm not really sure why her being adopted concerns your decision of wether or not to homeschool.

My Dad is a teacher with 20 years of experience and he is very supportive of my choice. In fact he is probably the most supportive of all my family members. Most of the teachers he works with are also supportive of homeschooling.

You will find that many parents who homeschool are or have been public school teachers, so your husband's career choice should have nothing to do with your decision.  As for his family's objections, this is a decision that needs to be made by you and your husband.  Just tell them that you appreciate that they are trying to help, but this is a decision that you have made and that you are no longer going to discuss it with them.

Answer 13

Interestingly, I know many school teachers families that homeschool. They know what the schools are like and don't want their children in that situation. So his career is not a deciding factor.

"Socially", the majority of homeschoolers are actually more social than traditional school students due to their interaction with people of various ages and diverse nature (in the REAL world, not the artificial segregated peer age groups at school).  I do believe that children educated at home get a wider range of experiences and benefit from that exposure to the world. I doubt that you would isolate your children and would make every effort to get them out and active if you decided to homeschool. So that pretty much eliminates the "Socialization" argument  (that is really an myth that has been 'busted' over and over again.)

As for the "family members are anti-homeschool". Honestly,  it isn't their decision to make. This is a decision between you and your husband deciding what is best for your children. You really do need to honestly discuss this with him asking him to consider all educational options. There is plenty of time to make this decision and it doesn't have to be made immediately.  Meet with other homeschoolers in your area.. research the activities, support groups and services in your area.  Most of all... Pray..

Answer 14

HOME SCHOOLING IS THE BEST WHEN  PARENTS ARE CHRISTIANS!

May God's Love fill your hearts, and ours!

Answer 15

I have an adopted son and I am going to home-school him.  

  I have been doing some reading and came across this a few days ago.  It is a little about socialization, I found it interesting.

http://www.thsc.org/Getting_Started/Norm...

Also check out this site...

http://rescueyourkids.com/

Answer 16

I'm a former school teacher and my husband has been teaching junior high for years. It's not a wrong decision for your husband at all.

My kids do not miss out socially on anything they shouldn't be missing out on. We went to the park yesterday with a bunch of other homeschoolers. My kids played with other kids they'd never met before and the way they were getting along and organizing their play, you'd have never known it was the first time they were all together. Making decisions, coming up with ideas, listening to others... all the group work stuff that so many say homeschoolers don't get, or don't get with people other than family members.

If you do start homeschooling and you have an active homeschooling group near you, get involved, do stuff. Go on field trips with other homeschoolers. Go to park days. Sign your kids up for non-homeschooling-related lessons (swimming, sports, anything). Go to the library. There is so much out there to be done. I get comments from my mother that she's not sure why it's called homeschooling since we aren't home half the time!

ADDED: I didn't get the impression that others apparently did that your husband was against this idea. Definitely do not homeschool if he is against it. If he's fine with it, do not let meddling in-laws stop you from doing what's right. And I don't see what adoption has to do with making the decision.

Answer 17

"they miss out socially"? Believe me, you're kids will be better off if they skip out on that social event called public schools.  Public school is like one gigantic organized dog fight, hundreds of voices putting everyone down, kids teaching each other that they only way to get ahead is to beat down the guy in front of you.  It's a truly horrible place to learn social skills.  

Connect with a local home-schooling group if you can, they usually hold regular social-type networking/play date events.  at younger ages, this can be a fun day in the park with 10-20 families, parents mingle and kids laughing on the swings.  Slightly older, maybe a trip to the zoo or skate world (it's a indoor skate park if you don't have one locally).  Learning social skills thru positive reinforcement rather than negative criticisms of correct behavior.

Extra years spent at home can really help instill kids with good values.  In the Extra-curricular area, they can learn good manners, and the importance of doing chores, as opposed to at public school they'd learn the importance of wearing the latest fashions and that being yourself is uncool.

Answer 18

Just a suggestion, try home schooling until they reach school age of 5. Then you could send them to a Christian school. I do not blame you for not wanting them in the public school system, but if the socialization is going to bring that much drama into your household you might want them in a Christian school. And if your in-laws are Christians, they should not cause problems in your marriage what ever it is that you and your husband decide to do about home schooling. Pray for the answer to your question, and you and your husband will be blessed with the answer.

I nanny for two little boys, and one is adopted. The parents opted for preschool in Christian school and public school when they reached 1st grade.

And what in the world does the adoption agency have to do with how you decide to educate your children? Once the child is adopted, you rear the child as your own.

Answer 19

If you are set on homeschooling, please make sure your kids get to be with other kids; they do need socialization. The most important thing is to ensure your kids are happy and well-adjusted. In-laws? Oh well. In-laws need to learn they are not the parents, but I do understand and concur with the socialization part, but agaion, you can take care of that too.