Homeschool Moms PLEASE ANSWER!!?

Question

Ok I have a 13 year old daughter who is going to be in 8th grade this coming year. She is homeschooled. This past year was her first year though. Before that she was in a public junior high. She has told me that she misses public school. But this coming year she will be in a homeschool Basketball team. So that will keep her busy. She says she only misses public school when shes not busy, because in public school she was ALWAYS busy. She was a cheerleader, she was in choir, she had dances, boyfriends, friends, and she was in a colt scholars progam and she was in BETA. I know your probably thinking "hey this kid had a dream junior high life" but my daughter wasnt always happy in junior high. Anyways she wants to go to public high school or this nice christian academy we have. She doesnt want to leave her new friends from homeschool. But she doesnt want to miss prom, homecoming, or anything like that. Also when she was in public school she always had a cute boyfriend.But 0 this year!

Answer 1

you can still go to the school dances and things when on homebound ! just contact ur school

Answer 2

Let her go to public school.

Answer 3

It would seem the reasons for public school revolve around hanging with friends, having a boyfriend (at 12 ???) and doing busy stuff. It comes down to a choice of what you feel is most important for your child at this time. Homeschooling is about providing an educational atmosphere that allows our children to develop their unique gifts and talents, explore their interests and learn at their own pace. This gives them an exceptional foundation for success the rest of their lives. Boyfriends, proms, and clubs gives them a foundation for.... what? There certainly are plenty of activities to participate in outside of school, perhaps you can find some that appeal to her and give her the best of both worlds.

Answer 4

The public school system has a tendency to condition children to believe that every minute of their day needs to be filled with some activity.  And when that's all you know, the unknown can be bit frightening.  She may not know what to do with her free time and she may not realize that free time is okay!  She can remain just as busy as a homeschooler if she wants to but homeschooling is a much less structured environment that public school.  And that will take some getting used to.  She can still go to prom and homecoming  if those two events are that important to her.  My advice is to give homeschooling more time.

Answer 5

Our children change their moods like their change their under ware. You're the mom and you have to decide what you feel is best for your child. I know that things like the prom seem like a big deal in her mind, but now you're an adult and how important was it really?? High school is momentary, but a good education goes with you your whole life. If shes as smart as you're saying, just think where she could go academically if she wasn't fighting with 25 other kids for a moment of the teachers time. Allot of Jr. collages will allow younger people to take courses. She could be years ahead of her public school classmates and in a career before they even know that collage to apply for. That's my two cents.

Answer 6

Are you sure you are the mother in this relationship? A 13 year old with a boyfriend? Worried about having friends?

My focus with my daughter is that she has a good education not only in academics, but in life in general. That means finding out who she is first without having to deal with the pressure of having a boyfriend or how many superficial relationships she can rack up. If you are really an adult, how many TRUE friendships do you still have from high school? I have one. Oh, I keep in touch here and there with a lot of them, but I wouldn't count on them as quickly as I count on my friends that I have grown relationships with after school, the ones I do "real life" with, not the subculture of school.

All those other activities you speak of are easily taken care of. My 16 year old daughter even went to Prom this year with a great FRIEND of hers. She is also involved in the public school in clubs and sports. That is allowed where we are, you should check into it.

edit:

Miss Mara- You hit the nail on the head about "The skeptic!" We have all read his posts, they are all the same. As my daughter says, "cry a river; build a bridge, and GET OVER IT!" Let’s say the problems ARE from some horrible home school experience, there are a TON of good experiences right here on this forum. Bad home schooling is definitely the exception, not the rule. You are in control of your life if you are out now, stop whining! If you aren't out, make the best of it, study hard and do something with your life! sheeesh

Answer 7

The best advice I can give you is don't listen to a word "The Skeptic" says.  If he even is a home schooler, his problems have absolutely nothing to do with home school and everything to do with the fact that he is just too lazy to do anything but sit on his behind and cry about how miserable his life is.  Someone needs to bake him a cake for his pity party.

Max, you have proven that you don't try and you do sit back and do nothing.  As I have told you before, if you put as much effort in trying to change your situation as you do feeling sorry for yourself you would be able to change your situation.  You claim to be an actor, (which I don't believe for a minute) so you would be around many different types of people on a regular basis.  That is how you learn social skills, by being around people.  Bottom line is you will only be as happy (or as miserable) as YOU choose to be.

Max, with your attitude it would not matter if you were in public school, you would still be miserable because that is what you choose to be.  Maybe instead of spouting nonsense on yahoo answers you would benefit from some counseling to find out why you are so miserable.  Home school has nothing to do with it, it is a choice you have made for yourself.

Answer 8

First and foremost-- Thirteen year old children do not need boyfriends. That would be enough to keep her out of public school for me.

Homeschool coops have choirs, dramas, all sorts of sports opportunities, dances, graduations, etc.  Did you get involved with one?  I would look for a good coop in your area. You will fill your needs that way.

Answer 9

Why did you take her out? If its because she said she wasnt happy, most children in school are not. Maybe she was just picking the wrong friends?

Answer 10

She can do all of that as a homeschooler, why is she not doing that through private programs? Homeschoolers have dances, prom, choir, cheer and pom, and boys.

Answer 11

Unless you and your mom use the same account, you seem to *be* the 13yo girl...and honestly, this question seems to be written from the perspective of a 13yo.

So my question, whether you're the mom or the daughter is...why can't she/you do all of those things while homeschooling, and more?  You do have to leave the house for it, but everything is still available to you - sports, cheerleading, choir, boys, clubs, social opps, etc.  Hook up with a homeschool group, get in some co op classes, take some lessons, join a sports team or cheer squad, and be as busy as you want to be.  It's all still there - the prom, sports, dances, etc. - but you don't have to deal with all the drama and restrictions that come with school.

A cute boyfriend isn't the be-all and end-all.  Besides, cute boys homeschool too :)

You're homeschooling for specific reasons - what are they?  They were obviously important enough to homeschool in the first place, so I'm pretty sure they're important enough not to give it up.

Answer 12

Why did you decide to homeschool her??

Answer 13

Hmm, based on your only other question, *you* ARE the 13 year-old, NOT the mother!

All the reasons you stated for public school do not mean SQUAT in the long run.  There are plenty of activities to "fill the gap" in the homeschooling community.

"Always busy" in public school - does that mean with actual academic work - the whole reason you're AT school?  Or does that mean writing notes in class, texting friends, flirting with boys?  There are two types of "busy".

It sounds to me like you were pulled out of public school so you'd actually focus on your academic needs.  I have a hard time believing that your parents will let you go back to public school.

Answer 14

Why are you homeschooling her if there are good schools nearby and she really wants to be in a regular school?  Let her go.

Answer 15

What exactly is the question?

Whether to homeschool or not is a decision that only you can make.  You certainly *could* do 8th grade at home, involve her in  activities, and see if she was happy then.  Or you could send her to the Private School or the Public School.  No one else can decide for you.

A few questions I always ask someone if they are homeschooling and considering putting their child back in Public School is this:

What were your reasons for choosing to homeschool in the first place?

Did homeschooling solve those issues for you?

Would those issues still exist at the Public School, or has something changed since your initial decision to homeschool?

Why are you considering sending them back to school, what issues do you expect it to solve?

Are there alternate ways to deal with those issues?

As you answer each of these questions, the right path usually becomes clear. For some that path will be sending the kids back to school, and for some it will be continuing to homeschool, but making changes to deal with things they are not happy with.

Only you can make the decision.  I pray that God will guide your decision.

Answer 16

First, being 13 does not mean you have to have a boyfriend. These are some precious years and she needs to enjoy being single. Two, of course she misses her buddies. It is natural. But when I was homeschooled I was friends with a public schooler and we had lots of fun. She doesn't have to give up her friends. Three, my old homeschooled group had a homeschool prom. Suggest that if you belong to a group. Plan dances with that group.  Four, if you do it right she will have much more fun with homeschooling. Instead of 8 hours of school you could make it more ,like, 4. Then she has the rest of the day to herself.

Answer 17

It is a bittersweet situation. One my kids were in at times. They fluctuated between homeschooling, public school and private schools for all the reasons you mentioned .

One goood solution is to let her have debutante ball. Make it a formal event where everyone can dress up. That will help with the prom issue. Also if she had some activities where she interacted with kids other than homeschoolers she could get invited to prom and homecoming by someone.

I know it seems like a huge deal to her right now....in the scope of real life it wont be that important when she is grown. I dont look back at prom night as one of the greatest nights of my life. The fun was in the shopping for a dress, getting fixed up etc. Prom itself was pretty lame.

Throw her a big party now and one when she turns 16 then a graduation party. That ought to do it!

Answer 18

Sounds tough doesn't it?

But the thing is you are her mom. You know what is best for her.

Look in the news and around the USA to see what is going on in a lot of public jr & highschools.

School is way more than boyfriends, being a cheerleader & dances.

If you had to pick I'd pick a Christian school but I've also heard some negative things about that.

Are you part of a good homeschool group? Your daughter has some homeschooled friends which is great!

Why not get together with other moms and start you own fun "afterschool stuff".

At church you can hold dances, she can cheer for the church softball team, she can find NICE boyfriends in church & she can sing in the church choir.

Best of all you'll know most likely who her friends are and know their parents.

Second -

13 is WAY TO YOUNG for a boyfriend! She had one last year . . . when she was 12, are you kidding me? That is way to young!

Have you not looked on the teen section here hearing little girls only 12 thinking they were having a baby?

Your daughter does not need a boyfriend at this young age.

Missing proms, homecoming -

Churches and other homeschool groups can hold their own proms and homecomings.

My oldest is 12. We have been involved with a nice homeschooling group for a few years. This year due to many reasons we are leaving it. We will join a smaller group this year with a few mom's and other kids. Main thing is we will have more say and control over what we do as a group.

If one mom voices what you are saying we'd work together to see what is best for the family and most important the child.

Answer 19

Oh my Gosh. Haha. Answers from people in this section never seize to amaze me.

Whether your the kid, or the mom. Just examine what your life will be like in 5, or 6 years from now and think to yourself will I regret not going? (Or if your the mom) Will I regret not sending her to School? Or how do you think it will probably turn out in the long run?

In the end you have to make the decision.

But all I can say is from my opinion. Go (Or let her go).

Right where she is now is the point I regret not going.

I wish I would have went then. Now there's no point.

Just hope you guys don't make the same mistake I did. And turn out they way I've turned out.

God with all my heart! I hope you don't have anything like what my life has turned out to be with and becuase of homeschooling.

(And please everyone, save the whole "I doubt your problems have anything or much to do with homeschooling." It does. But thanks for your concern.)

Edit: You guys are so funny. I love how you all think don't think I don't try, and just sit back and try nothing to change it.

Edit 2: I am an actor, or at least...Was. And I agree totally, being social is being around people on a regular basis. That's why homeschooling is wrong.

You can argue all you want about how homeschoolers do get socialization, and even more being homeschooled. However I beg to differ.

And I do try. Honestly though, who wants to be friends with someone you see maybe once or twice a week for a few hours? People just don't care.

Honestly though? What would change? Even if I got very involved with everything in my city, nothing would change anyway. Everyone has their own every day lives (At school, work) and I'd still be that little speck in their lives.