Homeschool "one liners"-responses?

Question

Homeschoolers! Hi!

I have been wondering, do any of you have a boxed or 'ready to go' response for anyone who treats your rudely about homeschool?

There are some women in my neighborhood who seem to have an issue with homeschool, and I'd be interested in hearing some "one-liners'' or any 'zingers' you might have.

I wouldn't care if they sincerely had questions, but these women are just a bit catty in the way they ask certain things.

So tell me your experiences and your replies!

Answer 1

I no the feeling. I homeschool my child.And here is what I tell people that say yo are sheltering you children from the public or a smart comment. I look at them first and tell them to mind there on bussiness. Second I look at them and tell them tell me how much you pay this year fro doctors bills on your child because I know I want have any. Third look at them with a smile and say now I have said my peice and I want to do what I love so please if you can't be nicer about my decision then this conversion is over and walk off. I have done this 2/3 of people and they did'nt think I had it in me to tell them off. I love homeschooling my children due to the fact of 9/11. And also I have not had to be in the doctors office any this year or last year due to the fact they were not around any sick children. And it is very safe as well as you the parent not sitting around all day worring about who is bulling my child. Did some one take her lunch money. Did they laugh at what she wore today. It give you a peice of mind. And also it is a one on one. You time is there time. It not like in school. You can spend as much time as your child need on a subject and not have to worry about going to 7 to 8 students. It is a one on one. And until us parents stand up to hags that have nothing better to do but be the neighbor hood gossip we will allways but put down because we chose to homeschool. So stand you ground because you are not alone. TO ALL HOMESCHOOL MOM WE STAND AS ONE AND WE ARE UNITED. THAT IS MY VERSION.

Answer 2

Woman in the library noticed us there during school hours.  She asked if we were we homeschooled.  When I said yes, she began to tell me just what she thought of homeschooling and it wasn't pretty.  I glared back, gathered my thoughts and said proudly and actually quite loudly, "Please forgive me ma'am.  I was otherwise occupied at the time and did not notice you present in the delivery room when I gave birth to my children, consequently when I made the decision to homeschool them, I failed to consult with you.  Forgive me for the oversight."  

She turned beet red and walked away, at which point the other mothers in the room and the children's librarian who knows us well, applauded me!   It was one of my finest hours, lol.

Answer 3

I don't necessarily have a ready to go response, but one thing I have said in the past is...

"Public School is great if you want to produce an average child who just blends in, personally I prefer exceptional over average, especially when it comes to my child's education."

Answer 4

I know one mom who successfully turns every catty question back on the person who asked it, or is at least able to hint something more about the person asking it. Things like:

Catty: How can you handle being with your kids all day?

hs mom: I actually had kids because I like them. Don't you?

Catty: Don't you worry about their socialization?

hs mom: Yes, I do, that's why we homeschool. Don't you worry about the socialization of your kids at school? I mean, don't you worry about them learning all the anti-social behaviours that go on in school? It's just awful what goes on nowadays.

Of course, that means playing the game at their level, which means lowering yourself, but when you're annoyed enough, sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do. :)

Answer 5

Well, when people ask my son why he homeschools, he turns to them and point-blank asks them, "Why wouldn't I?"

Well, they may have snide things to say to me, but when a 10yo comes up with that, it sets them off-beat long enough for us to just go back to whatever we were doing.

If that doesn't work, he goes into a spiel on what all he's been learning, how it applies to everything else, and the inner secrets of whatever animal he's studying at the moment...which usually shuts them up pretty quick.  I barely have to say anything - I just let him go, it works like a charm :-)

Answer 6

This isn't a one liner, but my standard response to "socialization" questions is:

"When have you been in a room with 30 people your exact same age since you left school?  Isn't that sort of socialization giving kids an unnatural expectation of how real life is, that they'll always be in a group of people exactly the same age?"

References to 3-month vacations not being real life also work (we homeschool year-round).

My favorite for family that doesn't understand is to pretend they've just insulted MY intelligence (my father-in-law's been caught by this several times, you'd think he'd learn)

FIL: How are you going to teach them algebra?

Me:  Are you saying I'm not smart enough to teach algebra?

FIL:  Um, no, but it's been 15 years since you learned algebra, hasn't it?

Me:  It's been 20 years since I learned to swim and ride a bike, but I haven't forgotten how to do that.  I also haven't forgotten how to read despite learning THAT nearly 30 years ago, and that generally helps if I need a refresher course in any subject.

It can go on and on, until he gets too embarrassed by me continuing to insist he's insulting me and calling me dumb...

Answer 7

Hi,

Don't want to be a spammer but I will say that for fun (and maybe a little extra income) I created some t-shirt designs that I think are pretty good and funny and to the point.  If you'd like I'll point you to them.

If nothing else, I think you'll get a chuckle out of them.

Answer 8

My mom used to answer snotty people with a response similar to this: "Do your kids get excited about learning everyday?"

Answer 9

My best friend who has a BS speaks badly of it, yet I know it works.

Brick schools works GREAT for 10%.  It works OK for 50%.  It works horribly for 40%

That is a reality

Home school works GREAT for 30%, works OK for 70% and works BADLY for 30-20%

Obviously, at least 30% of the people in this world are NOT destined for an education and MUST BE CUT OFF AT THE KNEES for some reason.

Both BRICK and HOMESCHOOL establish this as a FACT

It is a fact that close to 20% of the students DROP OUT by age 16.

We have to acknoledge these FACTS of life.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, even if you beat it with a whip.

No child LEFT behind is  a FALLACY

10-20% of them WANT TO BE LEFT BEHIND

THEY DEMAND IT

They will COME on to your campuses with GUNS and show you they mean it!

Learn to live with your losses.

Answer 10

Here's a good response (I'm too chicken, but my friend says it!)...if they ask if you're worried about socialization (gag), say something like, "Oh, my husband and I make sure they get plenty of that.  Once a week, he turns them upside down and steals their lunch money.  Then on another day I make sure they get a wedgie and a swirly."  ...or something to that affect :-).

Honestly, if I get the "Why do you HS?" question, I say in return, "Why do you ask?"  This turns it back on them.  They may *not* always have alterior motives or want to be snotty...sometimes they have a legitimate question since they've been thinking about it, or their sister has, etc.  I think a lot of B&M parents think we HS'ers think of them as "lower" than us b/c they aren't/can't/won't HS.  I think they automatically put up a wall to defend their choice *not* to HS.

I have it a bit easier in our home - I HS one and one is in PS.  So I just play the "we do what's best for each child" game.  If I get asked if my son will ever go to school, I say, "Yeah, when they can accomodate him being five years ahead in math and science."  :-)

Answer 11

Maybe it comes with being in my 50's, or for homeschooling for years and years, but I don't put myself in those positions of inviting their opinions.  And if unsolicited opinions are given, I call them on it.  (Usually it is an uninformed stranger).  I simply say, that this is a personal decision, just like their family decisions are personal and if I desperately need to consult them on the issue of homeschooling MY child, then I know where to find them.  Until then, they can keep their uninformed opinions to themselves and spend the time doing some independent study on the subject so next time they do not appear to be spouting opinions about things with which they are obviously unfamiliar.

And on the issue of socialization (growwwwwwwwlll) consider the following definition of socialization that I saw on a T-shirt.  I had never seen it before, but I checked and sure enough, there it was in the American Heritage Dictionary.

socialization- To place under government or group ownership or control, to convert or adapt to the needs of society.  

Share a bit of that educational bliss with them and then just smile and walk away.  Try not to skip or look too smug though,lol.

But by far my favorite episode was when some clerk at a store said how well behaved and well spoken my son was.  He immediately said "Thank you ma'am.  I am homeschooled."  She bristled and made some snide remark about his being sheltered at which point (I was tired) and I just looked her dead in the eye and said "Thank you for your comment  but, frankly Scarlet I don't give a d*&^."  She shut up quickly and did her job without further comment.

It is not your role to defend the entire idea of homeschool to the world.   And you need not proselytize the cause.  You owe them no explanations any more than they need to justify their choices to you.  Be confident, don't shrink in the face of their stupidity and have fun with it.

Answer 12

I like number 2 lol

Top 10 Things NOT to say when asked "What?! No school today?"

10. Well normally yes, but this time of year I need help with the planting and plowing.

9. Goodness, no!!! I graduated 18 years ago, but thanks for the compliment!

8. No, we homeschool. We're just out to pick up a bag of pork rinds and some Mountain Dew, then we gotta hurry home to catch our soaps.

7. What?! Where did you guys come from?! Oh my gosh! I thought I told you kids to stay at school! I'm sorry. This happens all the time. (sigh)

6. There isn't? Why, you'd think we would have seen more kids out then, don't you?

5. We're on a field trip studying human nature's intrusive and assumptive tactics of displaying ignorance and implied superiority. Thanks for the peek!

4. On our planet we have different methods of education. (Shhh! No, I didn't give it away... keep your antennae down!)

3. Oh my goodness! I thought that today was Saturday...come on kids, hurry!

2. Noooooope.Me 'n Bubba jes' learns 'em at home. Werks reel good!

And the number one answer we should NEVER give to the question: "What? No school today?"

1. "What? No Bingo today?"

Answer 13

You could try saying: 'I care a lot about my child's education and I just don't feel that ordinary school will help them reach their full potential - I mean, it might for some, shall we say, less able children. With home schooling, I know for sure that my child is doing exceptionally well and is above the average standard from schools such as the one your child goes to'

Answer 14

sure when i get "dissed" about being homeschooled i say... " ok come find me when i am in college and ur working at macdonalds. or did u know that 82% of homeschoolers get a 20 or higher on there act... talk to me when u get higher than a 4.