Homeschoolers, what does your mind control apparatus look like and where can I purchase one?

Question

An answerer on another Q just explained that homeschool successfully, "prevents any unnecessary knowledge from entering or developing within the child's mind."

This upsets me, because my child is a free thinker who learns from various sources and experiences. I'd like to stop that immediately. Should I buy the thought control/social isolation chamber online, or will a tin foil hat in combination with a floatation tank stop all that pesky learning and thinking?

Answer fast, you know only anti-HSers are allowed to ask silly questions on here.

Answer 1

At this particular time I am just chaining them up in the closet with religious music being piped directly into their ears.  Then they get to take a short break for Bible memorization, where I force them to sit in a chair and do nothing else until they can recite whatever chapter they are working on its entirety.  Then its back to the closet....

LOLOLOLOL

Thanks for the great question.

Answer 2

When we find one let me know !!! Its would be great to have something (besides mom) to teach everything a child must know to survive and thrive in this world.

This public school kid would love to have the skills that were supposed to be taught in middle school! I hope that my kids have the skills that I never learned and by homeschooling we can do that!

Melissa: Your kid has a mohawk? So cool!lol! They would never get away with that in public schools! It's too distracting to other kids! BS! It's not main stream corporate slave which is what the public schools are training up.

Answer 3

GGO - I am glad you asked this question.

It just so happens that I was up very late the other night and turned on the TV.  Guess what?  One of those infomercials but this one really caught my interest.

It was a presentation of the "Magic Think Alike Machine" by the International Mini-Me Corporation.  It sounds really great and comes in either horn rimmed glasses or round Harry Potter style glasses.  Your family, the neighbors will never know your kid is wearing the "Magic Think Alike Machine."

Best of all it is only 10 easy payments of $19.95.

But wait! There is more... Order now, and you will also receive matching denim jumpers for every female child and matching plaid shirts for every male child.

It just sounds too good to be true!

But wait!

For only an additional 6 payments, you get the high speed networked version so you can synchronize your kids thoughts with the thoughts of millions of other homeschooled kids across the globe!

Supplies are limited.  Order today!  Operators are standing by: 1-800-Mini-Me2

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This program was followed by the FruitOlio / VeggiOlio infomercial - offering "fruit" and "vegetable" chips that every kid just loves!  Contains 10% real fruit, vegetable or reasonable substitute and 90% delicious and healthy olio.

Ever try them? Not bad after you get used to the light plastic like film that coats your mouth .after eating...

***UPDATE: Jazzy - try to buy anything in the grocery that doesn't have high fructose corn syrup in it - it is in just about everything!!!!

Answer 4

Bwah - ha -Ha -hA-haahahahahahhaha!

Yep'm.... Ours is in the basement (oops... we don't have one!) You have to go down the stairs in the dark to damp and dreary lonely place.... There's a table with a brain-scruncher on it.  Instead of a medeival body stretcher it is a mind-clumper.  The kids put on a bicycle helmet that is attached to electrodes -- it spins around and around until they can't think since they are too dizzy..... It compacts the thinking cells into tiny spaces and doesn't allow them to stretch out in order to use the imagination...... bwwwwweeeeheeeehehehhehehehe.

I'm not allowed to share the family secrets.  So, sorry it can't be bought.

Isn't it sad how so many people don't realize how much they could learn and how many friends they would have if they were home-schooling just like us?

(just so you know... when you give a thumbs-down the comment moves to the bottom of the page and "hides")

Oh my.  The food issue is a whole 'nutha botha'.  That one gets my ire up rather quickly.  My son would not have survived in a public school that limited his food choices.  He has a high metabolism and had grand-mal seizures (vaccine induced-- another hot topic) for his first 3 years until we figured out that a high-fat diet changed everything!  He is a thin young man to this day at age 17.  He is strong and sturdy.  Had he not been given a high fat intake he may easily not have grown up.  I shudder when people try to dictate dietary requirements identically for all children.....  NO WAY!

Answer 5

Well, I thought I saw something on special at Walmart the other day. I am in Canada, but they might have it where you live, too. Check what they have available; if there's only one model, your decision is made.

Answer 6

Now this one gave me a good laugh!!!! LOL hahahahahhaaa!!!

You know that this is completely absurd!!!! These idiotic people that continue to "believe" that we control our childrens' minds and all that hog wash!

Hmmmm...... Let me see, the last time I checked the "mind control programs" were being taught at our public schools!!

Honestly that is the only place I have seen any "control"!

They tell us, how our children are supposed to speak, act, read, write, study, deal with bullying and much, much, more!!!

AND the newest one (in our public schools) is now the schools are telling us what we are "allowed" to feed our children, not to mention they are even "diagnosing" some children with obesity and because they deem the kids overweight they are also saying those parents are "abusive"!

And now we have a public school teacher answering this question in the manner she did! Looks like she deleted her answer!

Need I say more? NOT!!!!

Ha! Ha! Ha!!!!!!

Answer 7

Ours doubles as a bicycle helmet...so mom can shelter me and keep me safe from the big bad world too.

Answer 8

If I could only find one of those for my husband, now that would be something worth patenting :)

Thanks for the laugh.

Answer 9

??

I homeschool primarily because I want my kids exposed to MORE than they'd learn in school, not to limit them or brainwash them.

Unnecessary knowledge?  What the heck is that?  I know my mind is a font of useless trivia (I can recite commercials from the 70s)...

??

::shakes head::

LOL at your answer.  Maybe a tinfoil hat is in order...

Answer 10

I don't think that's part of homeschooling, now on the other hand you do have more control over what they hear and see when your child is not dealing with that crack baby in class that thinks it's ok to show their classmate how their mothers boyfriend touches him inapropriately on the regular, or how that  13 year old girl that is pregnant, is poisoning the 12 year old virgin by telling her it is ok to have s*x before marriage with a 20 year old guy that "buys her what she wants". I homeschooled for two years and my child I believe is better for it, and he just started to go to brick and mortar schools again and all he talks about is some little girl on his bus that talks about freakin on him all the time! I believe that as homeschoolers we have a chance to instill in our children what we want them to know without the distraction of the outside world, and the main goal is to get them to know right from wrong before just sending them out there for the world to crack them open, and sometimes you have a better oppurtunity to familiarize the children with your religious beliefs through the homeschool curriculum too, because remember that's not allowed in school any more, My ten year olds first day on the school bus he said that the bus driver was driving crazy on the highway and he sat back and said a lil silent prayer that the bus driver wouldn't flip the bus over like he had seen on tv a couple of nights before, and if had not been able to sit back and instill that knowledge in him about having peace in a storm he would have probably gotten to school and called and asked me to pick him up instead of him takin that situatuion in his own hands and praying for the bus driver and having comfort in knowing that his God had everything in control. So I think that's the parent on the other site you were on meant because I feel the same way too!

Answer 11

hahahaha!

although there are many homeschoolers who are open minded and do it for the right reasons, i have found that -in my experience - most don't.

so, thanks for the wonderful laugh!

Answer 12

Oh, there's a mind control apparatus???  I was just keeping the kids locked in the basement.

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And don't get me started on the ever changing food pyramid.  Everybody knows you need at least 6 - 11 servings of white flour and high fructose corn syrup every day.

Answer 13

teehee. Actually, we get enough bad comments on how *independent* my kids are...apparently kids aren't people and aren't supposed to have free choice. Darn radical unschoolers.

This is from the public schoolers, of course.

We have....

No jumpers.

No brainwashing.

No standardized religion.

No standardized curriculum (gasp! but too brainwashy for me).

No kool-aid a la Jonestown.

And all of our foil got turned into robot last week...so I don't even have enough to cook dinner, much less make hats.

Although I've heard that video games control their brains, maybe that's where my kids got it from.

we do have...

Tattoos (courtesy of Sharpie.)

Ice cream for breakfast (fed 2nd you know)

Visits to different churches, temples and mosques (via son's request, which def took me out of my comfort zone)

and one really excellent mohawk on my six year old. He had one two years ago that was bright blue, but he opted for 'see through' this time.

hmmm,