Homesick Question...PLEASE HELP?

Question

Hi,

I was born and raised in a city called Nagpur which is in India. My parents were familiar with a lot of people there and I had a lot of people from school that I knew and would hang out with. I felt really secure in the house we used to live in coz I'd been living there since I was like 8 and I knew almost everyone in our neighborhood.

Last year, my parents moved to Hawaii and I came to Ohio to study. I am 19 now so I basically spent 18 years of my life in Nagpur. I had NEVER left Nagpur for more than a month and never knew what life outside was like. And now here I am in a different country...and I feel REALLY homesick.

I'll be going to visit India next month with my parents but the thing is they are not going to take me to Nagpur (my hometown) instead they are taking me to a different city where most of my relatives live.

I've been begging them to take me to Nagpur since I miss being around the "familiar"and being around faces I've known from the time I was born. But my folks won't listen. They don't seem to take this seriously. They say "why do you want to go to nagpur now...we've moved out"...I feel SO bad when I hear that because I really feel that is where I belong...

AM i overreacting? I mean I've been pleading with my parents to take me to Nagpur coz of how homesick I feel but they keep calling me a jerk for asking them to do that. Has anyone ever felt this way? I feel really unstable right now..i'm tired of the new faces I see everyday and the culture which leaves me confused everyday.

Can anyone relate to this? Tell me your story...My parents should let me visit my hometown at least once every year..Don't you think so?

THanks!

Answer 1

To paraphrase Thomas Wolfe, "You can't go home again."  Home is no longer what was like when you were there, so you might be disappointed.  I understand your homesickness.  I had gone away from home to school in high school.  You need to gather yourself together psychologically and prepare yourself for developing new friends and new strategies for coping with your new life.  It is all part of growing up.  I give you this advice, because I don't think you will be able to change your parents' minds, although you might start looking for a work position to get some money so you could afford to do so in the future.  But, believe me, you must let go of your past and look forward to your future.

Answer 2

Whenever your homesickness gets unbearable try to focus on where you would like to be in great detail. If it is your old home then slowly go through it room by room before you move on to the next room, and so on until you really feel that you have actually been there.

If it is the friends you left behind, try to imagine them as you last remember them - in minute detail - until you feel you have been in their company again. OK, that's the unbearable dealt with - now to your life as it is at present & possible future considerations.

You have spent 18 of your 19 years somewhere other than where you are now. Positive thought says that for the moment you need to complete your studies.This will bring you a career & income (& this could well be back in Nagpur if you choose it to be.) You do not appear to have any choice but accept your parents decision re the imminent trip to India. So accept it & move on to more positive thought.

When studies are over & your career takes off - which direction will it be in & to what purpose?  If it is a flight to Nagpur and income from a career doing something constructive there then go for it now! ! !

Plan it, study for it, enjoy the part of your homeland you are about to visit & when you leave it to come back to your new home you will be either inspired to wish it well until you return or thank it for the history it has given you & move on to where you want to be in your new country.

I hope this helps. Best wishes for now & your future. UK

Answer 3

i think its great that you want to visit nagpur again!! but your 19 now! your living in a different state than your parents, you dont need them to take you to india! save up money, and visit as much as you want!! you're moving a step ahead in your life and thats amazing!  

Answer 4

You should be able to visit if money is no concern.