Honest opinion on this poem??

Question

Let Me:

Let me feed off of your soul.

Eat away my inner core.

Let me smell the scent of your skin.

Fill your lungs with my sweet escense.

Let me hear your words echo in my ear.

Lean in closer to hear me speak.

Let me be yours.

Steal my heart.

Answer 1

i love tht its so touching!

Answer 2

Wow, that made me go "aww.. thats so sweet." I love that. Great poem!! I give it an 8.5. And I give most a 2-4...

Edit:

BTW, here is another of mine..

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 3

yeah its really great. the first two lines are a little creepy but its still good! haha

Answer 4

I think its okay.Just need more work.

Answer 5

I absolutely love your poem and idea. But there needs to be a more emotional connection between you and your reader. I feel it but then I lose it. :]

Answer 6

i like it  but really it doesn't depend on what i say or anyone else says you just have to think it is good your self

but i do like

your welcome

Answer 7

It's awesome. This would be a song version that would be perfect for Ozzy Ozbourne to sing with a smokin' band accompanied by an orchestra...

LET ME

Let me take you into darkness

Let me feed upon your soul,

Fill your lung with gothic essence

'Til it melts your inner core.

Let me be your sweet seduction

Let me be your hot sun burst,

Let me drive you to corruption

Let me quench your every thirst

Influencing your every move only if you let me.

Deep in pain you cry out calling

Deep in trance you feel no fear,

Deep in trouble your voice falling

Echoes loudly fill your ears

See the anger turn to violence

Smell the scent of flesh and skin,

After war comes eerie silence

Feel the passion let me in.

Weighing the outcome now only if you let me.

QUAD CELLO RHYTHM BLEND

LEAD GUITAR SOLO

BRIDGE:

I am yours

Steal my heart

I am forced

There's a spark

There's a pulse

In my veins

I will convulse

I am so insane

I am so insane...

I have fun taking poems and turning them into lyrics for songs. I apologize if I offended you, but this is an exercise of my free thinking. You may use it if you wish because I would never steal anyone's composition for my own... Ciao!

Answer 8

Wow. That's amazing. I love it.

Answer 9

Wow, I like it! It's very deep and has some really vivid images. I also like the repeated pattern, the "let me" theme. The only thing I would change is the word 'escense'. Did you mean essence?

Overall: great poem! I love it!