Honest opinions on this poem??

Question

I have changed this poem a bit from when I last put it on here using he suggestions from the people who answered.

I couldn't help but see how you look so good today.

You smile down at me and my heart flutters away.

You speak to me, but silence is all I hear.

Because talking to you is my deepest fear.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see you leaving.

I wish I had the courage to say

Goodbye.

Answer 1

The first line is ugly, what are you trying to say here.

Answer 2

ya that's sweet.  i gotta say

Answer 3

i think its really good.

i love how you describe specific details and that it involes a shy girl with a crush.. ahhh!

& you should contiune the  poem

i want to hear more =]

Answer 4

its beautiful!!

i couldnt think of a single thing tht could be changed=]

Answer 5

I couldn't help but see how you

look so good today.

You smile down at me and

my heart flutters away. (I thought the parts were better separated).

You speak to me, but silence is all I can ever hear.

Because talking to you is my deepest fear. (Can you add more-- why is the person afraid of talking to whoever?)

Out of the corner of my eye, I see you leave.

I wish I had the courage to say

Goodbye.

Now I will say the usual: You don't have to listen to me, I'm an amateur, YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO HATE ME. And I mean it. And I mean meaning it. I love your writing though.