Horrible 3 1/2 year old boy?

Question

My son will be 4 in Sept, and I am 6 months pregnant. He is horrible, I babysit another child who is 5 and he constantly pinches, hits, kicks for no reason. My fiancee' has a 6 year old and its the same way with him. When I punish him he laughs in my face, when I put him in time out or the corner he screams and screams and runs out of it. I spank him and it doesnt phase him, what can I do. I am going nuts and he has me extremely stressed out and I am worried about going into preterm labor. Also my mother took him for 2 weeks back in April (we live in another state) and ever since he got back he has separation anxiety really bad, he wont even stay with close relatives anymore, and if I go out my front door he freaks out. What do I do?????? Please I need help!

Answer 1

You really sound like you need suppernanny.

heres a tip though

when you put him in timeout tell him to look straight in the eye at you and tell him to listen and tell him exactly what he's done wrong. if he gets out of time out just sit him back doesn where he was and ignore him and once his time is up have him apoligize.

And maaybe you need to be a little more strict

Answer 2

He is having problems adjusting to not  being the main focus of your attention. Now that your pregnant you are no longer giving him all of the attention he is rebelling. Try spending 1 on 1 time with the child by going to the park or doing just things with him at least once a day. You want to give him positive attention instead of negative attention by disciplining him all of the time. Look past the small things he does for obviously for attention and don't let yourself show that you are angry. Count to 10 and take a deep breath or step back and then think how to handle this situation without showing anger. Do not let him test your patients (do not let him see you are getting stressed or angered) he will only feed on that and continue. When he does become the violent towards other children make him play by himself (have the other child leave after he has done something to them). Leaving him to play alone will show him that others will not tolerate that. When he continues his bad behavior take privilege's and items away.  The corner or time out doesn't work for some children. Try cutting out candy, snacks or soda out of their diet (no sweets). Show him things are going to change, you have to put your foot down early (remember you are the adult and letting them get the upper hand is not what you want) and teach them discipline. It will be hard but you can do that if you are determined.

Remember to reward what he does that is good and not let yourself get angered over the small discipline problems.  He will want to become a better child as he receives more rewards by being a better behaved boy.

YOU ARE THE ADULT TAKE CHARGE and make changes that can help him become a better person

Answer 3

Okay...I know exactly what you are going though, I have three boys myself.  Make sure he gets plenty of rest.  My kids  get very grumpy when they are tired.  Put on a movie for them in the afternoon or lay down with him in his bed for a little while. Next thing is ignore the tantrums and screaming, try not to lose your temper when he hits or pinches other children.  Hitting or harming another child is the one thing that i will not tolerate.  You put him in his room every time it happens.  If he does it again, he goes in for longer.  He's definitely at the age where he knows what's going on.  If he won't stay in his room, get a door know that locks and turn it the other way so you lock it on the outside.  This may sound cruel, but it's much better then screaming or beating your child...which is the point I almost get to alot.  If he says bad words, you wash his mouth out with soap, just like the christmas story.  Just the threat of this, my kids freak out.

The separation thing is a little hard.  You want him to feel safe and loved yet he feels like your abandoning him  again.  Take it as the fact that he loves you and doesn't want to be without you again.  Try small time frames and let him know you will be right back and then show him and tell him you always come back.

Answer 4

Hit him harder, talking to him won't work.

Answer 5

that's one rotten kid. don't give in. whenever he laughs at you or pinches a kid...yell at him and make him apoligize. if he doesn't cooperate, take things away from him. such as no dessert, no tv, etc....he has to learn, otherwise he'll be a bad teenager/adult. w/ the separation anxiety...call hiim when he's at relatives and bribe him with an ice cream when he gets home.

Answer 6

take the things he loves to play with away!!! and dont give in... he will learn that there are consquences for his actions... also i agree with over praising him when he does good!

Answer 7

when i was young, i never had "separation anxiety", if i misbehaved i didnt get spakned, i got smacked on the face.

Answer 8

He may be acting like that to get attention...he probably knows about the baby, and that may scare him a bit. Try to talk to him and encourage him into being a Big Brother...that might help

Answer 9

First of all, don't call your child horrible, what kind of mother does that? Secondly he is getting this behavior from somewhere. Maybe he needs to be evaluated by a professional because he  has a serious problem.

Answer 10

you should get professional help, no offense, but that is bad bad behavior

help me?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 11

I know it may sound hard but i watched this on supernanny - you should try to ignore him.

Answer 12

Don't let him walk all over you and he only does it because he knows he can.  Have you tryed praying that WILL help.  :)

Answer 13

Try to ignore him...show him he can't make you sad anymore.

P.S. Please help me here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 14

it seems like he is just looking for attention.  If you are pregnant he probably knows that another baby is going to take away attention from him.  And based of the fact that he is hurting that other child you babysit, it really does seem like that's what he is looking for.  If the behaviour is really bad you might want to go do a child psychiatrist and find out what the root of the problem is.  You'll be surprised what you may find out.  Physical punishment may not work with him, you may have to go to a mental level with them.   Don't stress yourself out seek professional help that can give you the proper tools to deal with him.  You won't find all the answers you  need online, because there may be underlying factors that only a medical professional can find out.

Answer 15

To deal with the behavior stop  spankings and continue timeout. Get a mat and put it in a corner where there are not many distractions and be consistent. If he gets up put him back. Since he is turning four he should initially be in timeout for four minutes and tell him everytime he gets up a minute is added, take things away from him if he is rude and hide them until he decides he can control himself. You need to follow through on this to make it work but this should work if you have any questions email me! Hope this helps!

Answer 16

send something to nanny 911

Answer 17

Beat him with a sack of oranges. Won;t leave a mark and it'll let em know who's boss.

Answer 18

You need to reassure him of your family structure.  He might be worried about your fiancees kid and your baby on the way.  From watching Super Nanny I have noticed that kids who get timeout, 1 minute per year, tend to react better to that sort of punishment.  Don't let your child run your life.  You have to set the rules.  He'll respond to more structure.

Answer 19

I was the EXACT same way when i was 4-5 and finally, my mom said "i've had it" and sent me to my room. I was not allowed to play with toys, or anything, she still feed me an stuff, but after a few days, i voluntaily said sorry, and then i was better. so in short solitary confinment works like a charm

Answer 20

mabey h**l at him and start taking away things that he cares about. When he cries or whines put him in his "time out" place like in supernanny then if he tries to fun away from his "time out cornner" just keep bringing him back  if its really hard to do you  may have to like lock him in his room or something than when he calms down ask him if hes ready to apologise if he says no wait untill he says yes and apologises. I think thatll work pretty well.

Answer 21

My guess is that he is doing it for attention. My 3½ year old has tantrums and they, to some extent, are normal at this age. However, the aggression towards other children is something that needs to be addressed. I find that with my little boy, the more I am cross with him, the worse his behaviour becomes - it is like a vicious circle. Try your best to ignore his tantrums, but aggression cannot be ignored. You need to remain calm, take him to his room (or designated naughty spot) and put him back every time he tries to leave. This may take a hundred times, but keep at it. As soon as you give in or weaken, he will know and then everything is back to square one. As you say yourself, spanking does NOT work for strong willed children, so don't bother! When a child of this age has bad separation anxiety, it is usually a sign that there is an underlying problem. Does he maybe feel neglected in any way at the moment, does he understand that you are having a new baby? I remember that we let my son go and stay with his beloved grandparents for three days when he was 2½, just after our youngest son was born and he became so withdrawn afterwards. Someone suggested that he might feel stressed or even a little depressed and to talk to him. I didn't think that children so small would really understand, but I tell you something, when I began to talk to him about how he felt about the new baby and being away from mummy, he really opened up (as much as a 2½ year old can). My advice to you would be to sit him down when you are both calm and ask him specific questions - don't be vague and say "what's upsetting you", but ask him if he is upset when Mummy isn't there, or is he worried what will happen when the new baby comes. All you need to do is show him how much you love him and that the new baby is not going to change that. If he is being hard to handle, he is probably picking up on your frustration and it is making him feel vulnerable. Kiddies this age can be SO tough, I know. There are days where I feel like tearing my hair out, so hang in there!

Answer 22

He does not want to go to and relatives because they will not put up with it. If he kicks or hits or pinches any other kids, I am sorry but your kid is a bully. You might have to talk to a doctor or counselor to make sure nothing is going on with him. But do not give up and hold your ground, If you put him in a corner you should stay with him and let him know he is not getting out until his time out is over. If he is still acting out, send him out of state again, and let him know you will send him out. Right now you are tired and I know that, and so does he. You are the Mom and not him..... Don't give up, stay strong..

one last question, you did not say if his real father was around, if he is and he is not a pain as a ex... ask him to help.

Good luck

Answer 23

Get A Gun And Pistol Whip Him.

Answer 24

Be consistent. When he screams and runs out of time-out, put him back. Do it as many times as it takes. He will catch on eventually. Be very clear about what he cannot do, and take away toys/privlidges when he misbehaves.

Answer 25

u ignore him try to not let him get to you show him that it doesnt effect you thats what i did with my mom did with my brother

Answer 26

Ignore him and if you put him in time out make sure he STAYS if he runs out put him back in the time out area until he realizes he's going to SIT IN TIME OUT!  As for the separation anxiety explain to him that mommy will ALWAYS be back because she loves him...I do that with my little one when he gets upset and it calms him down almost instantly also get him used to you going away for short periods of time and coming back.....

Answer 27

You can't show him that he is getting to you.  Your hormones are already out of whack being pregnant so you need your fiance to step up and help you out.  Let him be the disciplinarian until after you are up and running from having the baby.  You can't give in to him when he leaves a corner.  He has to finish out his punishment.  If he sees that you are going to give in, he will just know how much farther he needs to take it for you to cave in.  It will only be worse with the baby if you don't control it from this moment on.

Answer 28

i read... IGNORE.. that is 100% right... They do it for attention... they'll go as far as to break things for it...

Just ignore it's hard to do... but do it anyway... If he's hungry... dont feed him...

Lunch is at 12:30 dinner is at 6:30 ... dont give em snakcs here and there....

Get him acustomed to a schedule of some sort...

he wants Juices and toys... Nope... just ban himfrom everything. ignore. until he calms down...

Answer 29

BE positive i deal with that c**p all day and i am only 12

Answer 30

lock him up in a room my mom did dat to me

Answer 31

Take things away from him.  Don't let him watch TV, play with toys, nothing... He can only come out to eat and to go to the bathroom... Maybe he'll stop.  

Good Luck with that annoying twit brat!