Horribly Disappointing Honeymoon s*x! Help!

Question

Ok, let's say you and your fiancee have been living together for a few years and have a two-year-old son together. You, the guy, get a good job offer in another state and so the two of you eventually agree to relocate. First though, that you will go ahead and work for a few months to save enough $ to finally give her the great big wedding she always dreamed of and then after the honeymoon she and the son will join you. Sounds good?

So now that the date approaches, you (again being the guy), are way excited about the week you will be spending together in Cancun all alone and are really expecting a hot and steamy honeymoon. You buy a bunch of Lingerie and fun stuff and tell her every night on the phone how excited you are to finally marry her and how you're really looking forward to a LOT of quality intimate time together.

The Big Day comes and all goes well. Her sexual side really shows up on wedding night and things are going great, everything you could've hoped for (although it is brief b/c both of you are really tired).

BUT oops! You get to Cancun the next day and suddenly things aren't so hot. She's way tired and seems far more interested in resting and doing other touristy things than any alone time with you. After 24 hours pass, you're annoyed and confront her and then she's way offended and nobody is very happy.

From then on, you only get it on a couple of times for THE WHOLE TRIP and the fun stuff that was bought was pretty much left unused.

So what's the deal? This pretty much describes my past week and I am very disappointed. When living together the past years s*x hasn't been very frequent, but I figured after shelling out over 11K out of my pocket for her dream wedding and with all the hype that she was going to be all over me and want the same kind of hot monkey-s*x honeymoon that I had always hoped for. I mean, I talked a lot to her about it in the months leading up to the wedding and was pretty explicit about some serious lovin' during our week together.. I'm getting over it, but c'mon, what the h**l?

Answer 1

i think you were stupid for gettimg married. 11k could have bought you an amazing prositute if that was your only heart's desire. now you actually got this poor girls hopes up that you actually wanted to spend the rest of your life with her.  

Answer 2

Have you ever heard of "No means no"? It seems not. Just because it's your honeymoon doesn't mean she has to lay down like some dog for you! Get over yourself. There are other ways to spend time together.

ETA:  Women do want s*x just as much as men, maybe even more. We also want OTHER things in our relationship.

Answer 3

maybe you shouldnt be so concerned about s*x

thats not all a relationship is about, and if she didnt want to have s*x at the time, you should respect that

you shouldnt be getting angry at her for not putting out

thats just plain stupid, and shows that you probably dont even care about her

maybe there was something bothering her, but im guessing you didnt even think to ask

not everyone is ALWAYS in the mood for that

Answer 4

A few times of s*x in the week doesn't sound too horrible.  It sounds like you just had different expectations.  If you are in Cancun, you might as well make the most of it.  You can have s*x anywhere.  It isn't like you throw the wedding in order to have a week of lots of s*x.

Answer 5

Dude I can not agree more but for some reason women dont s*x as much as men. I think you should say your sorry thats what the woman wants to here even though you did nothing wrong. And go to a rezort or something and have hot steamy s*x us guys have to have our hot steamy s*x dont we?

Answer 6

She's wrong, especially since y'all talked about it. "...hot monkey s*x honeymoon..." Haha, that's a good phrase.  

Answer 7

This is kind of along the same lines- my boyfriend and I took a 10 day trip to south america for our year anniversary. I imagined the s*x being awesome and us having more "fun" than we did. So I am sure he was let down by that but...heck I had to pack -get the house ready to be gone, running pets to the sitters, work...then you get there jet lagged and ya know what ..the s*x wasn't all that. But you have to look at both sides...Did you ever think that maybe you weren't being all the husband you could be. In all my realtionships when there were sexual issues it was directly related to other issues in the relationship.

   I can't imagine why you think that spending money on a wedding was going to make her crazy in bed..sound like there is something big missing here....I think it may be communication.

As far as my trip was concerned- I look back and it was amazing- life isnt always all about the fireworks...its the day by day little things that make loving someone so amazing!

Answer 8

You just reminded me of the movie, Just Married with Britney Murphy and Ashton Kutcher. Watch it together. It's funny, it's sad but it's cute :)

All will be fine. Just take her to a nice dinner and forget about anything else and just concentrate on having a nice time and hopefully your relationship will warm up very very soon.

All the best.

Answer 9

Are you serious?

Answer 10

Why are you treating your wife like a w***e?  You already said that before the wedding the s*x was infrequent and not adventerous.  So now because you spent some money she is supposed to want it all the time and do things you never did in the first place?  You don't get married because you think it'll get you "monkey s*x".  A wedding ring isn't some magical device that transforms your spouse into the person you wish they were, you marry somebody for who they are!

If this is having a serious impact on your relationship then you can suggest you guys go see a s*x therapist.  They may be able to suggest something.

Answer 11

First of all your story is way too long so I skimmed and this is your problem...you paid $11,000 for good s*x from your fiance now wife and didn't get it?  So you are a glorified John?  If the s*x was blah before what makes you think it would be better just because you shelled out extra money for it?  Honeymoons are for s*x but also for touring around or laying in the pool or doing things together.  Sorry you feel you got robbed in the situation but your expectations seemed quite high.

Answer 12

How can you not have the best s*x of your life (over & over & over) while honeymooning in Cancun...?   You got me!  Just the part leading up to the wedding and knowing all you put into it would be so exciting.....       Sorry ...  Hope its better now that your home!

Answer 13

alright chick who thinks marriage isnt magical, the dude is in no way treating his wife like a w***e. she said she wanted crazy s*x! lots of hot crazy s*x! he didnt just asume money would make her put out like a p**n star she said she wanted to! i think you have to get laid. like a wild, all night, missonairy impossible lay.

guy, tell your wife to read cosmo itll make her want to do some fun stuff

Answer 14

Maybe by holding out before the wedding you made the anticipation too big.  My husband and I were both exhausted after our wedding, and I do not mean just the wedding night.  Maybe you should set up a date night with your wife, and use the toys that you did not get to use on your honeymoon.  Just think...you already have the toys and lingerie, so give them to her one at a time as presents to play with.  It may be a little more fun for both of you, and it will keep the sparks alive!

Answer 15

Dude, let me say this with as much understanding as I can muster:

Are you for real?

It sounds like you both set unrealistic expectations for the honeymoon. Trust me, unless you single-handedly planned and coordinated the wedding yourself, then she was way more stressed over it and tired from it than you were, regardless of how much you spent on it!  So, give her a break!  

If you have lived with her for so long, you should know her a little bit better by now!  Obviously you had an idea that just because it was your honeymoon, something about her libido would magically change overnight!  And last a whole week!  If you were honest with yourself, you would realize that it is just as you said, the s*x was infrequent anyway!  

It sounds like you put too much pressure on her and she couldn't handle it!  Then you layed a massive guilt trip on her and she fought back!

I suggest not getting your expectations up so high and seeing a counselor to try and find a way to meet in the middle on your obviously contrasting s*x drives.

Answer 16

Whoa. Even I think there is something wrong with that.  I would be thrilled to have my husband all to myself and have him do all of that for me!  I have no idea what to even say because that is so far out there, unless there is something you have left out.  It sounds like a fantasy come true for a woman. I am sorry.  

Answer 17

Notice a trend here, the men agree, the women don't? That's what you're gonna get. Anyway, maybe if you just wanted to have s*x with her you should have stayed home and rented a hotel room for a week instead of taking her to a tourist spot for your honeymoon. Of course she wanted to check things out, who wouldn't. As for the s*x, I agree with the above people, if she wasn't that adventerous before then she won't be now. Also, it was a vacation for her. You try to take care of a two year old and plan a wedding, let alone run your home and plan a move.

Answer 18

if you had little s*x the six years that you lived together, what makes you think the honeymoon would change anything? She was like that before the wedding, you knew what you were getting into. If you want lots of s*x you married the wrong woman.