House Guest?

Question

I have my wife's family over for a week, the second day, they decide to clean and redecorate. Is this being a bad house guest, or am i just an ***?

Answer 1

Is your wife involved in the process? If yes, then the problem is not the monster-in-law but the lack of communication between you and your wife.

If she is just as surprised as you, then you have 2 options:

1. you like the new look, and say "thank you".

2. you don't like it and gently tell them that you had a different style in mind. If you tell them what you like, they might just do it your way. Chances are that they mean well, so don't kick them out or be rude. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Best of luck!

Answer 2

Helping clean the house is great, always wonderful to have a helping hand. However the re-decorating part would really anger me. My mother does this and unfortunately my husband has to hear about it. If I dont let her re-decorate some then she makes these crappy comments, so your wife may be tolerating until they leave. So I understand. You aren't being an ***, you need to talk to your wife about an approach. It's her family, you gotta clear it with her naturally, then take the most polite approach you can, at least to start. But you are not an a** at all.

Answer 3

Eh, that's how inlaws are - they think they are helping by cleaning, and they probably think they are helping by redecorating too, if you don't have a lot of money.

My mom and dad always clean and redecorate - my mom rearranges my closets and drawers, and don't even get me started on my grandma.

If my husband's mom came from Russia, the whole house would shine "like the top of the Chrystler building" within one hour.  If you come from different cultures, that may be part of your misunderstanding too.  

Just go with it.  When they leave, put things back the way you want.

Answer 4

its not OK to take over SOMEONE ELSE'S house!

Answer 5

I think your wife is probably a pretty clever lady, wink-wink.

Answer 6

If your house was neat and well ordered, they should have asked. If you live in a dump, well, you said it is the wife's family, and not mush you can do about it.Still, they should respect you and it is your home.

Answer 7

Cleaning is unusual, but some people do it just to be helpful... Redecorating is a bit bizarre.

Answer 8

Yes, it's bad. It's saying your house is not clean or nice enough. It means they are intrusive.

Answer 9

They probably threw half your stuff out.

Answer 10

If my girls parents came over and decided to clean my place I'd be all for it. As for redecorating, well that is a violation punishable by immediate expulsion from the premises. Unless they brought some kind of beer. Then we are good to go.

Answer 11

Actually I cant comment on your question --ok?

However , if they wanted to clean &  work on my house~

I'd help them do it & even provide tea and sandwiches!

& even lunches!(very rarely do you find rellies like them).

cheers!

Answer 12

The cleaning part is not. The redecorating now, that went a bit to far. Redecorating your house is disrespectful and uncalled for.

Remember, some people clean up houses they stay in when guests as like a thank you for giving them a meal, warmth, a bed to sleep on, etc.

Answer 13

If they did not check with you or your wife first, they were rude.  With the cleaning, it was forgivable if it was not major and if they did not intend to imply that your home was not clean enough for them.  The redecorating was just ridiculous.