House guest and laundry?

Question

Ok, so i am pretty much just here to whine and vent a little because i am a pretty anal person (although i have been working on it over the past five years due to being married) and i know exactly how when and where i like to do things. My sister in law and her three children are staying with me right now because she is going through a divorce. Now mess doesn't bother me (anymore) since i have two young girls of my own, i can handle that. I can even cope with the issues i have had to since she has been here, however i would never ever tell her these things bother me because she is going through a very very hard situation and that would just be rude, i guess i just need the opinions of strangers, to somehow make me feel better....i really don't know why i felt to post this. Any how, today is laundry day and i have all of my loads downstairs and ready to go. Of course i am done for the night as it is 10pm. When i got down there is afternoon the stuff that i had dried early that morning was on top of the dryer and she had some stuff in the dryer in its place. Ok no big deal, it was my neices stuff and i know that she feels a little awkward. Well i took it out, folded it and set it in her room. Well here i am in bed, its ten at night, and she brings up my scrubs and says "where do you want these?" and plops them on the bed! THAT I WAS ALMOST ASLEEP IN! So i said right there is fine, and she had to go up two levels to get them to my room. I asked her if she was doing laundry and she said yes just a small load so i asked her to please leave the washer empty so i could use it tomorrow and she said ok, now she seemed a little embarassed when she said it so i think maybe she realized that i was slightly irritated...i didn't mean to sound rude and i don't think i did, maybe a little groggy. It's just that i could never imagine doing that to someone! taking all their laundry out and piling it somewhere..i mean there was a laundry basket at the bottom of the dryer when she put clothes on the dryer this afternoon and just now when she brought them all the way up to me!! ugghh!!! Anal or not i think this situation would bother anyone....and i right to be slightly annoyed or am i just being to anal????

Answer 1

~~I think you are being perfectly human. I think you are trying very hard to be as gracious as you can to you s-i-l and that is really nice of you because it is extremely hard to share your home with anyone for any length of time. I don't know if I could handle it myself, so I think you are awesome!  It sounds like you have a full plate to deal with, kids, home, job, husband, and so you are pretty much on a schedule and disruption of a smooth routine to keep it all going is really hard. It wasn't right to interrupt you in bed with clothes, maybe she will get the hint not to do that again. She probably thought she was helping you out, but I know how tired you were and to have laundry plunked on your bed-yuk! I think you both have been doing great with the circumstances you have been thrown in. I'm glad you got to let the steam off, Y/A is very helpful to us in so many ways. I so hope your life gets back to normal as soon as possible. You truly are a good hearted person, it came out very clearly in your question, it's just a hard situation!

Answer 2

I don't think you're being anal. I mean, if I were you, I would be upset because I was almost asleep and someone just barged in and threw a dryer load of clothes on my bed. If I were your niece, I would have folded them FOR you and left them sitting neatly on top of the dryer or somewhere in the laundry room, and then used the washer. You don't HAVE to let them use it, afterall.

It's your house, you call the shots. I would have a talk with my husband about it and have him kindly ask his sisters to make sure her kids respect your space and maybe not use the washer when you're in bed? Drying at night can be dangerous..

Answer 3

Weeeellll....since we're stangers and all, I'll have to be honest......

It wouldn't bother me all that much, but that's me and not you.  At least she took the time to bring the clothes up to you.  I, personally, would have been more irritated to have found all my clean clothes piled up in the floor or on the dryer when I went downstairs in the morning to put on a load of laundry in the washer.  I would have felt the need to fold them to make it look more 'tidy' in there, and that's not what I want to be doing in the mornings.....

I say pick you battles.  If this sort of thing REALLY, and I mean REALLY bothers you that bad, then by all means run it by her.  It is your home afterall and she should be thankful for your generosity and hospitality and take the hint and do it your way.  Maybe you can work out a system or something?  Maybe tell her that (hypothetically) Friday is your laundry day and ask her if she minds to pick another day for her own laundry day to avoid getting laundry all mixed up. And ask her to make sure the laundry room is ready for you to use when she's done and tell her you'll do the same for her when you're done.

Answer 4

well ummm.....its your house u make the rules around here!!!dont let other people come to your house n mock u around n tell you what to do....set a limit n say wut is wrong in house...its your house!!!!dont let other people mock you n do wuteva dey want in your house!!!!!set your limits!!!

Answer 5

haha "pretty anal" haha

Answer 6

You sound to be mostly just freaking out over very little to me.

Answer 7

I kinda of think it was nice of her to come all the way up to give you your laundry and save you a trip downstairs.  It really sounds like she's sort of paying you back for folding her laundry for her.  With that said, I still give you credit for being understanding and welcoming her into your home regardless of her situation.  It's really not an easy thing having a relative stay over for a long period of time especially when they have three children.  So hang in there and be as patient as you can be. Good luck.