Housewarming Party Situation.

Question

My boyfriend and I have rented an apartment for two years and just recently bought a house. Since we rented we have basically everything that we want/need. But since buying this home everyone ask "what can I get you for your new house?" There are many things we would love to have that aren't overly priced. I find it hard to explain exactly what I want to someone and would hate to get the wrong thing and have to return it. We have people who also want to through a housewarming party for us. I find it somewhat tacky to register (especially since we have everything that we need). Is there any other way to go about this and get what we want from our family and friends?

Answer 1

In the realm of etiquette, it is NEVER polite to ASK for gifts, NOR is it polite to "direct" people as to what gifts to give!  Gifts are always to be "unsolicited" and "unexpected" regardless of how much we would normally expect them, such as at Christmas or on birthdays.

If a friend asks you directly, "What can I give you?" your proper response is, "Oh, I don't know!  You always have the BEST taste!  I know I'll love whatever you find!"... and SMILE as if they're your BESTEST FRIEND in the WORLD and you will never see them again after today!

Now... a housewarming party is NOT EVER to be meant as a solicitation for gifts.  A housewarming party is meant as, "We are just SO HAPPY about our new digs, and wish to share with EVERYONE just how GREAT this place is and how HAPPY WE ARE!!" And you server food, and share happy thoughts!

When a person presents you with a gift, you say, "Oh, THANK you EVER so much!  You're SO thoughtful!" and then put the gift in a non-descript area to be opened LATER, privately. Just as with a bridal shower, it might be best to have some way of identifying the packages for later Thank you notes.... and a "Post-It" pad can come in handy.  Try to descretely jot down the giver's name(s) and stick it to the package to be opened later.  Then, later, you won't have to worry about WHO gave WHAT, especially if the friend did not provide any form of note/id within the gift itself.

Upon opening the gifts... privately and "later" ... you list the giver and the gift somewhere, so you can send your Thank you note to them.

IF the item is something you just LOVE... well.. LOVE it!

IF the item is somehthing you HATE... well... appreciate it.  There is hope that the giver has given you some sort of indentification as to where it was purchased, so that you can descretely return it for exchange or "allowence" at the store.  If not, you have the choice of "re-gifting" it, donating it, trashing it, or giving it away.  But you never... NEVER let the giver know that you did this, or that you returned the item.

Your thank you notes should read something like this:

Dear Mary and John,  Thank you for the wine rack you gave us.  It was just wonderful!  Harold and I will fill it with many great bottles of wine and have many great memories of your thoughtfulness!  Sincerely, Dina and Harold

It follows a simple formula:

1. the words THANK YOU

2. the specific item given

3. what you might use the item for, or how it will "grace" your new home, or whatever

4. appreciation of their kindness, thoughtfulness, etc.

See?  Not difficult at all.  Good luck and HAPPY HOMEKEEPING!

Have a polite day.

Answer 2

Send out a "wish list" with your invitations.  Include "gift certificates" gratefully accepted.

Housewarming party registrations are not tacky.  If anything they're quite practical.  

If you're moving into a house from a rented apartment you do not have everything.  Trust me.  There is outside maintenance to do,  repairs to be made,  additional bedding and linens and the list goes on and on.

Receiving duplicates comes with the having a house warming.  It's no different than getting married.  Some things will just have to be returned.  But who is going to know- unless of course you need the receipt?  In most cases the giver is savvy enough to include a gift receipt so the item can be exchanged.  Congratulations on your new home.

Answer 3

Yes, it is tacky to register for a housewarming! These days, people register for everything, as if our whole lives now revolve around what people will buy for us. If you have a housewarming party, people will likely bring you wine, or perhaps a plant; these are typical, traditional gifts. When asked what you would like, just tell them that their presence (not PRESENTS) will be enough - celebrate and enjoy yourselves.

Best Regards,

Holly

PS - if people do bring you something, don't forget the thank-you note. I'm still waiting on some over here!