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How 2 maintain a healthy level of insanity....?

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How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your rubbish bin On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks

Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your cheques, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Have Your colleagues address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'

17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling

'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

18. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

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  1. In my line of work this would be deemed normal behaviour...


  2. old but still funny...I am trying the one with the kids tonight...

  3. hahah

    SteveC

  4. Lol  I'll have a diet water please, make that to go.

  5. Don't use any punctuation.

    Hennie will love you for that.

  6. Are you sure they won't start looking for your sanity  ?  Good one thanks (^_^)

  7. Some warning signs that your insanity level is no longer healthy:

    * You wake up each morning and find yourself sitting on your head in the middle of your front lawn.

    * You have a predominant fear of fabric softener.

    * You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for setting fire to his lawn decorations.

    * Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.

    * You laugh out loud during funerals.

    * Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you through that scuba mask.

    * You collect dead windowsill flies.

    * You like cats. Especially with mustard.

    * You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.

    * You call up random people and ask if you can borrow their dog, just for a few minutes.

    * You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala or to be loved by an infectious disease.

    * People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a violation of your rights to be a peach.

  8. Some of these are very funny.

    I liked no.1 the hair dryer thing was excellent.

    and no.3 was cool.

    No.16 was great aswell, but what I say to someone who is getting money infront of me at the ATM is....

    '' Quick, Quick. Go for infinite nudges ''

  9. 19. Whenever a friend rants and gets all emo on you say. "Hey, guys have feelings too. But, who cares?"

  10. Great minds think alike.

  11. Haha, 18 is hilarious
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