How's the best way to deal with 1 year old having tantrums?

Question

My 1 year old is a good boy but if you take something away that he really likes or you put him somewhere that he doesn't want to be (I put him in a safe place when i need to use the loo) he'll throw his head back a few times. How have you dealt with this because its dangerous, he's hurt his head before doing it, is there a way to stop it, i've still got a year until terrible 2's!

Answer 1

It's easier said than done but you really have to try and ignore this behaviour. If you show worry or pamper to his tantrums then he will use it to his best ability. Make sure he is in a position where he is as safe as possible and ignore it. Just remember he isnt going to break and he wouldnt do anything twice if it really did hurt.

If you give in to these tantrums now you'll regret it as he gets older as it will just get worse and worse.

If you stick to you guns and show him he isnt going to get round you by tantrumming, he will give it up eventually. Have alot of patience as he will try and try before he decides its not working.

Good luck!

Answer 2

When you take something away from him, replace it with something else to distract him.

When you need to put him in a safe place (so you can use the loo) put him in his crib with a special toy that captures his attention and entertains him for a while. (keep that toy for such times only)

Answer 3

all I can tell you is to correct him for it, if not it will get worse.

Answer 4

Ok, so your son is like mine (14 months) , having a early terrible two stage. So, I let him throw his self and have his little tantrum right there by hisself. I ignore him, and when he comes near me, I move and tell him, "no sir, not until you calm down" And I will go and start playing with one of his toys, and he may scream louder, but then when he see's I am having fun, he just stares, and I will look at him and say " mommy is having so much fun with (toy), do you want to come here and have fun with mommy?" and that usually does it. But it is OK to let them cry/scream, they have to know how to self-soothe. Good luck.

Answer 5

I agree with KSSW. I'm guessing that you know when he is going to throw a tantrum. When you are going take something away from him and you know his is going to act out, give him a small pillow and let him have his tantrum on the pillow. Give it to him when you put him in the "safe place". Give as little attention to the tantrums and keep your tone in a "as a matter of fact" tone. Be sure that your "no" means "no" all the time, as well as other caregivers.  Be sure to offer praise and give hugs when he responds appropriately. Hope this helps!

Answer 6

Hi,

His reaction of not liking change of things taken away or change of scenery is normal and not a bad thing in and of itself.  It means he likes something and is cognitively learning.  Easing into the transition and distraction are good ways to help.  Easing into the transition by bringing a toy he is looking at or playing with into the safe play or playpen.  That way the change does not feel so drastic.  You could also "package" the change like it is great.  Rather than let the worry show or be rushed about it, talk to him silly or excited about what is coming next.  It might help him transition.

You can "trade" one item for another.  If you are taking away dangerous items, and that is why he gets upset, then have another safe but interesting item there to immediately replace.  Distraction and trading have been great for my now 3 year old.

Cognitively at this age, truly learning through punishment or explanations is difficult and frustrating.  You will also find yourself getting more emotional when it does not work through these approaches.  Later on, like 2-3 years, these can work better.  

He will still probably get upset at times and want to show it.  When mine have, I ease their body down into a laying position if the head seems to be getting ready to thrash.  Then he will not hurt himself as much.  And possibly clear away any other items he cold get hurt by.  I would ignore a moment, then try to distract in a silly way.  I did not use the surprised silly voice for distracting with my first as much.  Wished I did, as it can really help bypass meltdowns.

Good luck!    

Answer 7

1 year olds understand the word no, so don't let that be an excuse, tell him that his actions are not okay, and that he needs to be good and not hurt himself.

Answer 8

don't worry there are many ways and i know a lot of them because my mum is a psychologist.for one year olds you,ve got to ask them what they want or where they  to be,you,ve got to explain to them clearly that they can't have it and check if they understand.Then give what they want to them in an imaginary way(giving what they by using your imagination).If he carrys on you've got to ingnore him and check if he knows its wrong