How's this poem i wrote?

Question

My sister once called me a fool,

but by the look on her face

i could tell she was one too

she said i was a fool

to chase dreams

to think i was beautiful

And when she look me in the eyes

i could tell she was lying

she was in a disguise

but for whom would she hurt me so

to crush my wishes

to let me go

She sees my hurt as i shrink in the backseat

"don't worry" she mocks

"your just like me"

there's a long silence, i wonder what to do

"diffence is," she says after a while

"dreams don't come true"

and the crimson sun begins to fall

but my saddness only rises

i'm such a fool afterall

But i don't give up

i know what i want

"enough is enough"

"the only difference is" i shout

"is you don't try hard enough

you don't know what this is about"

"if you just worked and not care

what people said or thought

you might have gotten somewhere"

"You're the fool" i say

"for giving up so easily"

and i turned the other way.

She looked me up and down

"you're such a fool"

she whispers with a frown

and i start to think

i am a fool and my

cheeks fade to pink

Why should i be embarassed

to believe dreams true or

worthy enough to cherish

My sister once called me a fool,

but by the look on her face

i could tell she was one too

Answer 1

I like it =]

Answer 2

i really like the idea of this poem, just that u o on and on and on and on so its gets kind of boring and repetive. i like the ending when you kinda repeat it.  i would just say to shorten it, spice some parts up and u will have a masterpeice on ur hands. good luck.

Answer 3

that is really good!(:

it shows that you have faith

which is a good thing to have in this day and age:)

Answer 4

I have taught English III students for some 23 years with a few of those years in English I & II.

I always have told my students that poetry is not only fun , but it is so easy to write and few believe me until I make them study it for an entire 6 weeks and write some on their own .

I tell them that the definition of poetry is an authors personal expression of emotion written in verse , no one has to even have any idea what it is about except the author .

I have said all of this to get to the answer of your question : The poem is really good , and though long each line makes me want to read on to find out where you are going . If you were in my class of English , I would definitely have given you an A

Hope this helps, good luck and God bless

Answer 5

I liked it. But, it was very repetitive and got boring after a while.