How's this poem?

Question

The Renaissance

By

Azzy

I was once surrounded by darkness.

Shut out from the objects around me.

I was blind; I saw nothing but the inside of my eyelids.

I was alone; saw and heard nothing but my own thoughts.

I had tunnel vision only saw in one direction.

Time was moving past me and I could not keep up,

So I stayed behind afraid I won’t be accepted in the new world.

As a blind man; a man with no eyes. But one day I saw something;

A light. The first light I saw in years. I then realized that it was not the darkness who

Blinded me, it was me who did this to myself and it was me who shall get me out.

I shall have my Renaissance, and Leonardo da vinci

Shall paint my Mona Lisa,

I will have my Renaissance and I shall reinvent Michelangelo’s Sistine

Chapel. The light will break my darkness and I will be free to explore the

I have missed. I shall have my Renaissance.

Answer 1

its ok. i just felt like you jumped from one thing to the next. the darkness, then to tunnel vision, to a new world, art, an era. its different, but its not bad...it makes you think about what you are reading. it did take me to another place to try and visualize what i was reading. not bad...not bad at all..

Answer 2

It's s**y, I love it

Answer 3

It sounds realy personal I like it you should make more

Answer 4

Wow... that is so, so deep and thoughtful and obviously had a lot of thought and effort in it! Keep writing, you obviously have a talent. I loved it so much!

It had beautiful phrases and sad, not keeping up to waking up and realising that the obstacle is only yourself!

I really, seriously LOVED it!!!

I would rate it 10/10!!!!!!!