How Can I Get Through This? How can I Get the Spark Back?

Question

I liked this girl for over a year and we finally started dating two months ago. We'd been completely infatuated with each other for that year and a month, but while I was visiting her in Pennsylvania to spend eight days with her, I started doubting things. Now, while I was there I had the best time of my life; we shared our first kiss together, we held hands and cuddled, we watched TV together, we did a whole bunch of things. Then when I got home on the last day, I got this sudden rush of anxiety and asked myself "do I love her?" because for some reason, my feelings felt different than they had a few days beforehand. I'd thought that I'd fallen out of love and worried myself to death because I wanted to be with her more than anything. Then I found out that infatuation didn't last forever and you had to move on to the attachment stage or the "comfort zone" of the relationship, where the feelings are less intense and people get confused about how they really feel because of that. So I'm thinking it's that... How can I realize how I truly feel in this confusing time when she lives four hours away and I can't see her again until November. Please give me advice on how you felt after infatuation ended and tell me how I can get through this and get the spark back?

Answer 1

Are you friends with her, or is it just lust over someone you can't or haven't had?

Relationship depend on something deeper than surface, (she's hot!)...... who people are is much more important than what they look like, long term.  (In fact, you can look at people in their 40s and 50s and a lot of times  literally SEE who's happy and who's not, ....who they are affects how they look).

Figure out if it's just infatuation and lust, or if the two of you have something more.  If so, build on that. If not, decide if it's possible to develop a true deep friendship, if you can't see it happening, cut her loose.

Luck