How Can I Help Keep My ADHD Son From Wandering Off?

Question

My 9 yr. old son Austin often doesn't think before wandering off too far away from home or while walking in front of us in a public place. I used to do this somewhat as a child, and I was either spanked for it, or made to write 500 times "I will tell my parents where I'm going" but punishment never helped me remember. I don't want to "punish" him, but I am looking for some innovative ways to try to teach him the importance of staying close to us or the house.

The other day he chased our dog who ran off and was gone for almost an hour and it was getting dark. My husband was almost ready to call the police but then found him about 1/2 mile from our house, with the dog, on his way home. He was shaking and crying.

He said he had to follow T-Bone, because he was so afraid of losing his "best friend," which is sweet, but he gave us a heart attack in the meantime. We live in the woods so being alone at night is not good.

Anybody got any really good suggestions? We'd sooo appreciate it!

Answer 1

It's hard to keep those ADHD'ers in check!

Some already suggested the locks/alarms for in the house, those are great when Austin is at home.

Tougher challenge is out in public, you really need to find a way for Austin to grasp how dangerous it is for him to just go off on his own. Something that may work is a social story, that explains in a "kid" friendly way all the things that can go wrong if he wanders.

Someone brought up walkie-talkies which is an excellent idea, unless Austin is like your typical ADHD'er and would forget his head if it wasn't attached to his body.

There has to be a consequence for his wandering off, and it has to be something that hit's Austin where it hurts! By that I mean if he is really into something (video games,comic books whatever it may be..) if he runs, he doesn't get to use that item. Thing is everyone has to be consistent everytime or it doesn't work.

This isn't just because he has ADHD, which means it can be stopped, but it isn't going to be easy to stop it.

Be Consistent all across the board and hit where it hurts! ( I don't mean spanking..I mean take his things if he doesn't listen)

Good luck!

Answer 2

Velcro.

Answer 3

My daughter also suffers from severe ADHD at age 11.  As hard as it is a child sometimes needs constant supervision, even at age 12.  We put latches on the doors up high where she couldnt reach them, until she figured how to unlatch them, now we have dead bolts with a key lock, so she can't leave when we are unable to supervise her, like when i am cooking or showering.  She is a wonderful kid and we don't keep her locked up, but when I can't put full attention on her, it's better to keep her safe.  Take time for your kids and listen to them.  If you talk to them like they are people, and express your concerns it seems to help.  I would also remind him about his experience.  if the dog running off is a problem, get a leash and give the responsibility to him that YOU don't want to lose your friend (the dog) either OR your child!  He will feel better knowing that you don't want to lose either of them and he will spend more time making sure the dog stays in the yard and won't concentrate on leaving the yard himself.  Worse case, put up a fence with an alarm on it when it is opened.  Nothing will cost more that losing your child!

Answer 4

Spank him

Answer 5

try rewarding him for not running off or try giving him times outs

Answer 6

I've been diagnosed with ADD (not ADHD, but very similar), and I know what its like not to be able to stay focused or pay attention to my surroundings. He probably knows that he should stay close by, but his mind keeps rerouting his thoughts every few seconds to something else. If something catches his attention he'll follow it until his mind reroutes his thoughts back to you or home. He needs firm instruction and clear physical and mental boundaries set so he knows exactly where he SHOULD be and SHOULD NOT be. Next, you're going to have to lay down the law with him. Discipline is a must if you want him to stay focused. Doesn't always need to be corporal punishment, but there needs to be some kind of reprecussion for wandering off, so his mind tells him its wrong to do it. Also, when he chooses not to wander off when he has the chance to, reward the behaviour and show him love and affection for it. These are fairly simple steps, but they are effective and nearly universal to any undesired behaviour with children.

Answer 7

Talk to a doctor about medication, but if that's not the way you want to go at this age, try giving him a reason NOT to wander off.

Buy him some new toys or video games or whatever else he's interested in. Tell him he needs to stay close by to play with his new things.

If you don't want to bribe him, or have and it hasn't worked, hold onto his shoulder as you walk around in public. It might embarrass him, but that's the idea. He'll realize he doesn't want you touching him constantly and might decide to just stay close and make things easier.

Answer 8

with all do respect just cause he has ADHD does NOT mean he can NOT follow the basic rule of STAY PUT!!!  YES, you can punish a child that has ADHD..

Answer 9

Get a fence for your son& dog.Don`t punish him,he was doing what he thought was right, since it scared him so bad, he may have learned his lesson.

Answer 10

Tell him that you'll keep him on a leash if he keeps wandering off.

and if he does then get a kid leash and keep him on it.

Also gtting him a cell phone might work to call and find out where he is...

Answer 11

Well it is important that Austin understands very clearly who is in charge , this is for his own well being now and later when he is a teen and you start have even bigger issues to worry about . This is important in spite of the fact that he has ADHD. That being said punishment for disobedience would be a good idea ,be consistent in it though and use something that really gets the message to him . Not letting him play with T bone may be one thing you might try when he is disobedient .

Regarding restraints , it may be a good idea that you look into special locks being fitted for you're house that require a key so he cannot unlock them and go outside on his own.

Be certain that the windows are properly locked as well , you dont want him to feel like a prisoner i know but you also don't want him lost in the woods or picked up by someone who might do him harm.

Also i would try and reward him when he listens to you and stays close .

Most of all show him all the love you can as well as the patience of Job.

May God bless you all

Andy

Answer 12

Well some people have to be restrained so they don't fall out bed; maybe he can be restrained comfortably to protect him.

Answer 13

Give him ritalin and/or prozac to help calm him down

Answer 14

this doesn't necessarily have anything to do with ADHD.  meet with the pediatrician and a counselor to discuss your concerns.

Answer 15

give him adderall.  or is a less humane way, put up one of those invisible fences for the dogs and use it on him.  i would suggest the first one though

Answer 16

Being an adult who was diagnosed with ADHD in my early 50's there is no way I can impress upon you the importance of behavioral therapy/conseling and medication.   It changed my life dramatically for the good.  It will definitely calm him down, teach him how to focus and learn to be more responsible.

Answer 17

Keep more of an eye on him.  You KNOW he has this disorder so YOU have to adjust how you pay attention to him accordingly.

Answer 18

Tell him

"Its my job to keep you safe"

Have him answer you

"Its my job to keep it that way"

Explain to him each time why it isn't safe to wander away from your home.

Empathize with him regarding what he feels (T-Bone) but insist he should think of his personal safety.

Focus on what you want him to do and always stay eye level and calm when telling him what you expect.

When he shows restraint REWARD that. Tell him what you see, recognize the change and praise him for it.

Answer 19

i have someone close with adhd and my mom used to put a walkie talkie in his pocket and tell him it was for emergancies

Answer 20

I'm with hyperdro

How bout one of those dog locater collars?

Answer 21

Is your yard fenced in? If not I would fence it in so he has clear boundaries as to where he can and can't go. Make it a rule that he can't go outside the fence unless an adult is with him. I think it would help because he'll be more likely to stop and think if he has to open a gate to leave. As far as walking ahead of you in public I'd make him hold your hand if he can't stay next to you. Embarassing maybe, but it's for his own good and maybe it will help him to remember. I wouldn't punish him, either. It's not his fault- he just forgets for that split second and then he's off! Good luck! =]

Answer 22

Try rewarding him with something he likes, or tell him its not safe for him to wander off because someone might take him