How Can I Stop Loving Her?

Question

I have a female friend who's been in my life for a little less than 10 years.

We've been through good and bad times.

I'd do almost anything for her if it made her life better and no one got hurt.

We've talked about taking it to the next level more than once.

She even admitted she thinks I'm attractive, but she's afraid of loosing a good friendship if things changed and we broke up as a couple.

But over the years, I have fallen so in love with her, it almost hurts.

I don't tell her, because we've been there before and I don't want to seem pushy or desperate I guess.

How girls can separate friendship and romance is such a mystery to me...

But how can I stop being in love with her without walking away and loosing such a good friendship.

Answer 1

MY FRIEND IS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING SIMILAIR , HE ASKED ME THE SAME QUESTION. TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I DONT THINK THEIR IS AN ANSWER TO IT, BUT I CAN TELL YOU THE BEST ADVICE I KNOW FROM WHAT I SAW. WHAEVER YOU DO DONT GIVE UP, MY FRIEND DID AND GAVE HER AN AUTOMATUM. HE TOLD HER HE COULDNT HANDLE IT ANYMORE THAT THEY COULD TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL, AND BASCIALLY MADE HER CHOOSE. EITHER GIVE ME A CHANCE OR LETS JUST GO OUR SEPERATE WAYS. SHE COULDNT DECIDE SO HE STOPPED TALKING TO HER, NOW HE THINKS OF HER AND WONDERS WHAT SHE IS DOING NIGHT AND DAY. WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS, IT TAKES TIME CHAMP. I WISH I COULD BE BETTER AT THIS, BUT THATS ALL I CAN DO. BEST WISHES MAN, HANG IN THEIR.

Answer 2

Girls are not the only ones who separate friendship and romance, guys have done so also.  Give yourself space from her and start meeting other females who will treat you better.  You did your best at explaining your feelings, but now don't you think it is time to move on?  10 years is a long time and you have wasted your time.  Since you have been there and you will appear desperate if you bring up the topic again.  And you did not mention that she has ever made an effort to become close to you.  Doesn't that tell you that she is not the one?  You are hurting yourself clinging on to her, there are better people out there.

Answer 3

you don't have to stop loving her, just be there for her and be the best friend you can be. just love her as friend for now.

wait until she is ready for you guys to become a couple.

Answer 4

It sounds like your torturing yourself!  You should either talk to her about trying to develop a romantic relationship, or try to separate the friendship a little bit, your causing yourself a lot of heart ache! Good luck!  

Answer 5

Theres no immediate way to end love, it will gradually fade over the years.  

Answer 6

You have to make her love you or make her convinced that you love her so much in such a way you wont be separated you would be one spirit in two bodies. you shear one life, you shear one feeling, you are there for her if she cry you clean her tears, when she is in trouble you will be her strongest support. if all of that didn't work you have to know one thing love cannot be forgotten but it can be replaced with anther true love.And of course don't lose her friendship and introduce her to your new love if she is still your friend. Good luck.

Answer 7

be a man and face the facts:- 1) for a woman to love u, u must pass certain qualifications from a woman's point of view such as, confidence on ur self, control over ur emotions, challenge to her feminine abilities, respect to ur self & ur life, firmness, steadfastness etc., 2) this woman did not seem to even bother herself about u all over these years, 3) women hate a man who appear or is desperate and hopeless. SHE MUST FEEL THAT SHE IS NOT EVERYTHING IN UR LIFE and that u have many other interesting things going on in ur life. 4) believe me, there are so many good and welling females out there, so do not stick to the idea that SHE IS THE ONLY ONE., 5) Work hard to wipe her completely out from ur mind by doing the following, a) do not keep any thing that reminds u of her this include; photos, letters, gifts, ornaments, videos etc. get rid of them very soon; b) practice any kind of sports everyday for at least 30 minutes even it is walking; c) practice deep breathing (4sets of 4deep breaths a day) if u email me I can give full instructions, this practice is very powerful, d) reorganize ur life in a healthy style, no smoking, no drinking, good norishment, early sleep & rise up, e) practice a hobby even if reading certain types of books, f) go out and meet and talk to people (men, women, old, young) it does not have to be long conversations, g) join any active voluntary or aid groups, h) take serious time and reflect back on ur relationship, check the positives & negatives form ur side and hers. see how her negatives have actually affected ur life (do this on a piece of paper,after practicing the breathing exercise);i) NEVER, NEVER TRY to go after her or call her or communicate in any way EXCEPT if SHE intiates it, then YOU MUST CONTROL ALL UR FEELINGS and DO NOT POUR UR HEART OUT TO HER, remember you want her as ur love NOT ur doctor or mother! j) remember that ur life and ur well-being is far more important than hers and should be seriously looking after ur own interests. These in brief are some essential points that u must consider if u want to regain ur life and self-respect & at the same time forgetting her. You never know, when she realizes that you are not bothering yourself about her and that you are taking good care of ur life, she may come running after you, BUT YOU will then accept her according to ur terms.