How Can I Stop The Way I Feel??

Question

Okay, so my stepsister gave up her baby for adoption.. he is at least six months old, now. My dad and my mom have been really sick lately, my dad with skin cancer and he might get psoriasis of the liver, because of drinking and maybe even lung cancer from smoking. My step-dad has diabetes. Everyone was upsetted because of what my stepsister did, and I'm not sure how long my parents are going to be around.. and they keep saying they need to fix their problems if they want to stay around long enough to see their other grandchildren, since they can't see their first. Well, this makes me feel that I should have a kid because they aren't doing anything to help themselves, but I know I am too young to bare a child and I don't want to mess up my life.. but nor do I want to let them down.. what should I do to make this feeling go away?

Answer 1

Have tried talking to your parents? I'm sure deep down they want the best life possible for you. It may be that due to the relationship that's not an option, I understand that, believe me. Find some time to be alone with them if you are willing, when your sister/stepsister is not around and just unload to them. Tell them you love them, that you are scared, and that you want to do something for them- to fulfill their desire. I"m sure they don't want you to be reckless with your life.

If you really want to change your the way you think, there is cognitive behavior therapy. But I don't really think you want to change how you think or feel, you just want some closure or assurance- some way out or to know if you are doing the right thing.

I hope it works out for you.

Answer 2

You don't say how old you are. None of the things you recite above should be upsetting you because none of them are your problem. I don't know any of your specifics but lets walk through them. Your step sister gave up a baby. Is this going to be best for the baby? Is the baby going to have a better life? If yes then lets be happy for baby and thankful that stepsister was unselfish in her decision to let go.

Dads got skin cancer, a very treatable cancer, then you go on to say he could get lung cancer or psoriasis. Why are you dwelling on what could happen? He could get in an automobile accident or hit by a car, or, I could go on and on but why? You say your parents said "they need to fix thier problems if they want to stay around long enough to see thier other grandchildren" They did not say YOU need to fix anything and further more  having a baby would only add to thier problems and worries which would end up making them even sicker. You must understand no one is looking to you to resolve any of these issues therefore you cannot possibly "let them down" What you should do to make the feeling go away is be the best person you can be, set goals and achieve them, be a child your parents can be proud of and let every one else be accountable for thier own lives. If you do this your parents will never feel let down by you. Good luck