How Do I Become Friends With An Evil Monkey?

Question

Its pretty hard

I almost got paralyzed from the batterie the monkey dropped in the bathtub

Answer 1

You need to show dominance.  If you are  not the dominant one he will think he is and then he will always be evil towards you.

"I'm not being aggressive, I'm being DOMINANT!

Answer 2

I really don't think there is such a thing but it depends alot on the type of monkey, it's age and how it has been treated. By the way, what was it doing running loose while you were in the tub?  Sounds like your monkey needs to be shown who the top monkey really is.

Answer 3

When it points its finger angrily in your direction, that evil grin on its face, point back at it in a tender and welcoming fashion, thus confusing it and forcing it into a state of friendship with its ex-prey.

Answer 4

you have to kill the monkey, and then it will come back to life friendly.