How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges in state of California? Help!

Question

Ok, see i did something without thinking it thru... i filed a police report about my bf (of 5yrs) abused me early today. I think i may have just done it thru anger. Now that i'm some what calm, I'm so scared for him. I wanna hurt him (emotionally, or something to get thru to his head) as much as he hurt me, but not like this please PLEASE HELP ME! Anything, just anything would be a great advice right now!

Answer 1

If you were able to drop the charges against him, it would tell him one thing. That the pushing/pulling and punches to your shoulder are acceptable to you. He most likely would do it again. Only each time he does it, it will get worse.

Do yourself a favor, don't defend his behavior. Let him face the consequences.

BTW, it isn't fair that he did what he did to you, nor is it fair that the police have to come and waste their time on domestic violence calls only to have the victim back out.

Answer 2

I cannot tell you what you should do in so far as your relationship goes, but as a police officer I see this far too many times .... the question that goes through my mind is how any repeat calls for service will there be before you become the victim of domestic homicide.

I'll leave you to do the research and the soul searching... but as far as the charges go, police and courts are very reluctant to let them drop for the reasons outlined by other contributors and my own above. You may be able to negotiate with them, but I don't like your chances.

It may be that the court process is what it takes to get it through his head.

Good luck .... I have learned over many years particularly in these types of circumstances that the single biggest predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. food for thought?

Answer 3

The State files the charges, not you. Even if you request they be dropped, the State can continue without you.

About the best you can do is talk with the District Attorney about the possibility of anger management classes instead of jail.

Answer 4

so... how many broken ribs did you get? and which eye did he punch you in?

Answer 5

When it comes to domestic violence the state does all prosecution.  Too many victims live in fear of the abuser and recant their statements the next day and fail to follow through.  So, you are not able to stop prosecution.

Answer 6

It will not matter if you want them dropped the state picks up where you leave off

Answer 7

So, basically you have gone into the next phase of the cycle of violence.  Then comes the lovy dovey I love you, I love you too, then the resentment starts again and he beats the c**p out of you...  I think there were about 26 incidents with Nicole Brown before she finally left OJ, then it still continued.  If you are lucky, you could last as long as she did....

Next time you feel like being someone's punching bag, don't waste officer's time in even calling...  Since they seem to be 'making things hard for you and your wonderful boyfriend.'

Geez